Fire and Rain
by iliv3bymu5ic
Summary: Opposites attract. The come together. Estrella cared for him. And he hurt her, slipping into the darkness of his mind. Sex, drugs...fame, everything came down on him. Backstreet Boys, Nick Carter X OC Fanfiction should have a music category lol
1. Chapter 1

She didn't want any of it. Why did she have to go through the pain? When you're with your best friend, isn't everything supposed to be good? He was different. Everything was. Their relationship took a different toll once they got together. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was the reason for her smiles. Now all he causes, is her heartache. Love makes you go mad? That isn't the case for the story of these two love birds. Best friends, lovers, and then what. She wasn't his shoulder to cry on, he turned to worst things. Horrid things that caused these two lovers to drift apart. For one lover, to flee from the darkness. This is how the journey started.

My heart raced. Everything around me was beginning to obscure. My body ached. My head pounded. My mouth wet, yet so dry. Darkness swallowed me whole. I saw my arms underneath me, attempting to push my body up off the ground, but it seemed as if a ton of bricks were above me. I screamed and I knew, but I couldn't hear myself. I grasped tightly at the bed sheet, watching it scrunch in my hand. Pulling myself off the ground, at this moment, it was not the hardest thing.

He wasn't always like that. He was a good guy. The way the whole world knows him. They only see the exterior, not the interior. I honestly don't remember when it all began. He was my friend before he became my lover. He wasn't a monster. He was just Nick. My sweet, simple, funny Nick.

I hover over the bed, in which was a beautiful place once. I crawled to the corner and hugged my legs, rocking myself back and forth.

Why don't I leave? Because he is not him. That is not him. He isn't that of what I fear.

My breathing steadied.

 _Grrr_

Food…the stuff that is made to energize your body. What our ancestors fought for, for survival. Right now, I didn't really care.

I crawl slowly off the bed, my body feeling ache as it stretches from the hours of me being balled up. My feet shuffle towards the door. I walk down the hallway into the kitchen. The noise coming from the T.V screamed through the area and living room.

 _Rrrrriiiinnng_

"Yo whats up dawg...nah man...that's cool bro...alright Chris see ya later dude," I heard his voice, as he ended his call.

That voice. When I first met him, it was the only thing I could think of. He was so adorable, so full of energy, so happy...just for me. When I first met him, it was five years ago, he was 17 then. I remember, him and his bowl shaped like cut hair. Long enough for me to pull on it. I had been called to work as one of the make up artists. I had become part of the Backstreet crew. Everyone on the team knew I had a thing for Nick. They would tease me from time to time. They had thought it would be fun to have me as Nick's personal make up stylist.

I remember all those little jokes, stunts, and pranks he did just to get my attention. Sometimes he tortured me into thinking I had actually hurt him with the blush brush.

"I HATE make up," he mentioned once. Well, at least when I was around. He said it made him bring out his feminine side. I laughed.

That was my Nick. Not this horrid monstrosity.

The refrigerator door opened at the doing of my hand, making a sharp, tick sound.

I heard shuffling behind me.

"Baby?" he called out for me.

His voice sounded calm. No sign of anger.

"Star, baby? Come here a second," he said, so sweetly.

My name...Estrella Vasquez. I'm 21. My star sign, Cancer. I lived in the slums most of my youth. My mother was a strong woman. She was left alone when my brother was born. I don't remember much of my father. I was about three when he had left us. My mother worked multiple jobs just to get us by. I always looked up to her. She was my hero. After my mother had died two years ago, my brother was just doing bad for himself. I didn't know what to do. He's in the big house now. All I have is Nick...or at least I thought.

"Come here baby," he smiled.

I melted. What?! Yes, he has done all those things, but...I cannot help it. I love him.

I walked towards him, slowly. In light steps. I got to reaching distance and stopped.

He smiled. Oh! That sweet smile. Making him look so adorable and innocent.

He reached out, grabbing my wrist, and pulled me onto his lap. His arms slithered around my waist, bringing me closer to him. I flinched at the pain on my lower back, caused by it pressing up against his abdomen.

"You okay baby?" he whispered in my ear.

I didn't answer. Just sat there, in his lap, not moving just staring at his knees under me. His body moved slightly. His lips touching the back of my neck, tracing the small fainted bruise from a few days ago.

"Look at me," he whispered, with such demand, it sent chills down my spine.

I didn't notice how hollow my breathing had gotten. His hand began slowly creeping up my large t-shirt. I inhale sharply, holding it in. I look at him. His blue eyes. Getting closer, he leans, taking my bottom lip into his sweet, wet mouth.

May god punish me, a small moan escapes me. His finger gliding over my panty line with just enough pressure. His mouth moving to my ear. His wet lips brushing against the back of my earlobe. My eyes closed, taking in his hot breath tickling my ear, his fingers playing over my hot spot, his body pressing up against me. My concentration faltered.

"I love you," he breathed.

My heart stung.

 _Lies._ I thought.

 _Then why are you not moving._

A little voice spoke at the back of my head.

"Baby?" Nick whispered in a sort of whine. His fingers reacting to my lack of reaction, making me gasp. He laid his lips on the nape of my neck. Arching my back, he growled low and deep, his chest vibrating against my back.

I hated but loved the power he had over me. And he knew this.

I whimpered, feeling him push my panty line aside, drawing small circles along my folds.

"Star," he breathed. "Look at me," he said, almost in a light plead.

I turned, looking into his eyes.

Why did he have to look at me like that? So intense. Like he would do anything for me. With so much love?

 _He doesn't love me._ I screamed.

He leaned forward taking my mouth in his. Kissing me softly, but yet hungrily. His finger pushed in slowly, causing me to sigh at the sensation coursing through my body. His tongue teases my lips, wanting access in. I slowly part my lips, allowing his tongue to explore my mouth. Feeling another finger join the other, goosebumps spread over my skin, and I begin grinding lightly against his hand. With his free hand his fingers pull below my ribs turning me halfway around, so I was now sitting across, instead of, on Nick's lap. Removing his fingers, I whimpered, letting out a long breathe. He hooked his finger under my knee, lifting it up over his head, letting it lie on his shoulder, while his other arm, held me by my waist. Moving his hand back in between my legs snatching the hem of my underwear from one side, while the other hand that was on my waist grabbed the other side, tearing my panties apart. Dipping two fingers between my fold, rubbing my juices up and down. I moaned and whimpered the times he passed my clit.

"Nick," I breathed out.

He growled, taking my mouth with his, shoving two fingers in me. I groaned as he hooked his fingers, pressing against the soft bump inside, sending electric shocks. He moved his fingers in and out rapidly. Removing his fingers once more, he pulled away from my lips, leaving me panting, looking at him through a half hooded daze. Bringing his fingers up to his lips, he slowly licked me off of them, closing his eyes. Once he finished, he looked at me.

"Get up," he demanded in a low husky tone.

I got up slowly. I forgot about the pain I had been enduring earlier. Nick place either of his hand on my hips pulling me forward, making me crawl onto his lap. He stared at me again. His eyes falling over my body, seeing my arms hanging on my sides, not moving, not locking around his neck, like they usually did when I was in this position. His eyes moved back to mine. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips against mine, kissing me slowly, as if he was trying to be careful, like he didn't want to break me. He didn't know I already was.

His fingers tightened on my hips, pulling me down.

 _Whoa, when did he let him out?_ I gasped loudly, my finger hooking around his neck. His hands pushed me off only to bring me back down.

"Ride me baby," he whispered. His finger peaked under my long shirt, sliding up my back. I arched my back, grinding against him, making my moves long and slow. He laid his head back against the couch. His hands continued to glide up my back, past my shoulder blades, hooking over my shoulders.

He let out a groan, lifting his hips up off the couch. I gasped, my fingers leaving his neck down to his chest. Slowly, I began moving up off of him, only to fall back down on him. Soon enough I was bouncing, moaning, and clawing at his shirt. I tilted my head back, feeling my hair whip against my exposed back. I felt Nick remove his hands. I looked back at him, realized I had closed my eyes. He licked his thumb, quickly placing it on top of my clit, applying a little pressure, making small circular motions. My walls immediately clenched, having Nick growl and moan at the same time. I clenched my hands in tight fists, bunching up his shirt in my hands, on his shoulder. He leaned in forward moving his hands to my ass, giving it a tight squeeze, pulling me closer to him.

"Tell me baby," He whispered, huskily into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. "Come on Star." he kissed the side of my neck.

"Nick, I-" I breathed. He pulled me down hard, making me moan louder. I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly.

"Say it baby,"

"I love you," I moaned, running my hand through his hair, tightening my finger, pulling on it quite hard.

He quickly stood up, turning around and placing me on the couch. Taking my mouth once again, he began slamming into me, making me scream into the kiss.

"That's it Star, cum for me baby," he panted, pulling away, and holding on to my hips, looking down at our adjoining bodies.

My mouth gaped open. I slammed my hand on the back rest of the couch, clawing at it. Feeling my walls tighten, contracting around him. I let out a scream, arching my back. Feeling a tightness in my chest, as Nick still moved in and out of me. He slowly began to stop. He laid on top of me. His head on my chest. His arms wrapped around me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

I looked down at him. My body still coming down from the high he had just given me. His eyes were closed. His eyes tightened as he turned and buried his face in between my breast. I didn't know what to do anymore.

He sniffled.

"I'm so sorry Star. I don't know whats wrong with me anymore," he sobbed.

My heart broke. I wrapped my arms around him.

"I don't like who I'm becoming Star, I don't. I hurt you all the time. And all you do is put up with me. I don't know what else to do," he continued to cry.

"Stop. Just stop," I answered softly.

He lifted his head, looking at me. "I try, but I can't. I thought I could, but I can't. I can't help but want it. The way I feel when I'm on it make me want it even more," he answered.

I looked at him. His tear stained face. "You like the feeling you get when you hit me?" I asked. It was meant to be more of a statement.

He looked away, laying his head back down. He stayed quiet. I didn't say anything either. I closed my eyes. Wanting to just forget everything. I didn't even know what to do. There were only two options in my mind. But I was torn. Nick needed me, but at the same time I needed myself also. I needed to help him, but I couldn't if he wasn't willing. Saying the words is one thing, but doing it...that's a whole different playing field.

Within minutes, my mind went blank, my breathing, steadied, and I was asleep.

Something wet and cold touching my face. My brows furrowed. My eyes still closed.

"Baby," I heard him whisper.

I opened my eyes slowly seeing Nick squatted in front of me, with AJ behind him. I quickly glanced down at myself seeing a quilt draped over me.

"I'm going off to the studio, OK? You call me if you need anything," he caressed my cheek.

I looked back at him, glancing over at AJ, who had a concerned look on his face. I simply just nodded. Nick smiled a small smile, leaning down giving me a small peck on the lips. Saying a quick 'bye' and a 'see ya later' before leaving.

I stared at the door for a good five minutes, before getting up and dashing towards the room. Opening the closet, I pulled out my old brown, hard, leather suitcase, throwing as much clothes as possible. Walking over to the air vent, I opened it and pulled out an envelope. Quickly looking inside making sure all the money I had saved was in there I walked hurriedly back into the room, slipping on a new pair of underwear and sweat pants. Grabbing my side pouch bag, I shoved the envelope in, snapping my suitcase shut, and strode off towards the entrance door, suitcase in hand.

I stood there, one hand placed on the door handle the other carrying my clothes. I contemplated whether to leave him a letter or not. To give him an explanation. I shook my head, opened the door, and walked out, not looking back...

He didn't need an explanation.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

Everywhere I go

I stared at my reflection. Raising the blade to my eye level, I looked at it then back at my reflection. Grabbing a piece of my hair in between my fingers, I closed my eyes, placing the blade to my hair, hearing the sharp metal cut through my dark brown hair. I opened my eyes, letting out a long sigh. Repeating my previous movements through the rest of my hair. Finished, I checked the length of my hair. Turning my head from side to side, checking for any missed out strands. I ran my fingers through my hair, little pieces falling around me. I slipped gloves onto my hands, snatching the container that sat at the edge of the sink.

"Here goes nothing," I said to myself. Grabbing the purple brush that was dipped in the white, chemically smelled substance, I lifted the short strands of hair at the top of my head, spreading the bleach along the dark hair. Working my way from the top to the bottom, I did final touches, and let the chemical sink in. I sat at the edge of the bed at a ratty looking motel in Nashville. I reached into my bag, pulling out my phone, I flipped it open, seeing a photo of Nick and I that Brian had taken of us in London Eye.

I smiled remembering why the angle was looking up at us. Brian had decided to sit in the center of the pod, while Nick and I enjoyed the view as the large Ferris wheel moved. Brian was afraid of heights and REALLY didn't want to look out the window. I had asked him to take a picture because Nick had a picture of me on his phone, but I didn't of him. So I had asked him to take a picture of both of us. At the moment, Nick decided to kiss my cheek, a smile playing on his lips.

 _Your just a small town girl_

 _Living in a lonely world._

 _You took the midnight train going any-_

I froze as my fingers automatically pressed the OK button on my phone, opening the text message that had been sent to me. My eyes watered.

The chemical waves coming from my hair were really starting to bother me.

I rubbed my eyes. Opening them I looked at the screen in front of me.

 _Star, where did you go? What time are you coming home? I missed you. -Nick_

I felt a knot at the pit of my stomach. I closed my eyes, tears from my irritated eyes falling down my cheeks.

 _Stupid chemicals._ I thought.

My phone went off again. But this time to a different tone. I looked at it again, seeing INCOMING CALL SEXY NICK. My thumb grazed over the green button over and over. Aching to press down, yet ended up pressing down onto the red button. I stood up rapidly, walking towards the bathroom. Journey blared through my phone again. This time, I pressed OK, once again. My eyes reading over the message.

 _Why did you ignore my call? What the hell is going on Star? Where the fuck is all your stuff? Everything is all over the room? Call me back please -Nick_

I snapped my phone shut, throwing it over my shoulder. Not caring at the moment where it landed. I ran the water from the sink, dipping my head under the faucet I moved my head around, my finger tips taking the excessive goop out of my hair. I reached to the side, blindly grabbing the hand towel, placing it over my head moving it back and forth.

 _At least I don't have to put up with all the hair drying._ I smiled a little at myself.

Removing the towel from my head, my brows rose, taking in my almost white hair.

"I like it," I sighed.

I grabbed the bag full of hair, shoving the bleach packets and gloves in. Rinsing out the container and the brush, I put everything back in my kit.

AJ's happy song suddenly screamed through the room. I quickly turned and jogged to my phone. Opening it, I saw INCOMING CALL ALEX. I debated whether I should answer.

 _It could be Nick on the other side_. I protested.

I squeezed my eyes shut, hitting my forehead with my phone screen.

The song stopped only to go off again, this time having vibration added to it, indicating a text.

I opened it and read through.

 _Hey. Where are you, Nick is going crazy. He's freaking out. -AJ_

I sighed. Pressing reply, my fingers typed.

 _I'm fine. Don't worry- EV_

Surely enough, as soon as my message was sent, there was a reply.

 _Where are you, Ella?- AJ_

I smiled at the nickname AJ had for me. Ever since I had made fun of him for sounding funny saying my name, he called me Ella. I told him to just call me Star, but he denied saying that, that was Nick's thing.

 _I can't tell you. I'm sorry Alex, but I can't have you guys looking for me. - EV_

I sighed looking at the screen. It took him a while to respond.

 _OK, I guess I understand. What happened Ella? I saw you this morning...was it Nick? Again- AJ_

I closed my eyes. AJ was the only one who knew what was going on. How? He witnessed it once. It was right before he had gone to rehab. I remember how he launched at Nick trying to protect me. They fought. What is there more to say. I was on the floor, crying for them to stop. He had literally thrown Nick out. He held me in his arms, rocking me back and forth, whilst Nick banged, kicked, and screamed on the other side of the door.

Suddenly not hearing Nick anymore, made me look up, and all I heard were sobs and repetitive 'I'm sorry's'. AJ didn't know why Nick had acted that way. I didn't want to tell him he was on something, when he himself, AJ, was struggling with technically the same thing.

 _Just take care of him Alex...please. I love you guys. Good-bye- EV_

I closed my eyes, my finger stuck on the end button, turning my phone off. This is it. I've already taken the second step. You can do this. I took a deep breath and sighed deeply.

...Three Months Later...

The music blared all around the club as I mixed a drink, pouring the contents in front of me.

"Here you go," I smile, handing the drink to the gentleman in front of me. I walked over to Nalyne, a girl I had met when I bought a house last month. She had helped me move in and get a job.

"That guy was totally hitting on you," she smirked.

After a while, she had noticed how distant I was on talking to guys. She had asked me if I pitched for the other team. I told her no, and I figured I need to tell someone who didn't know me or him. I didn't tell her it was Nick. I told him it was a good friend named Gene. Ha ha, yea I know. After I told her, she understood better, but then she was more determined to show me all men weren't the same.

That wasn't the problem. Of coarse I knew that all men weren't the same. It's just...I couldn't see myself with anyone besides him. That also didn't mean I stopped looking. I'm a girl, what do you expect. I laughed at myself.

 _Hello._

My thoughts suddenly came to a halt. My heart began to race.

"Ooooh I love this song," Nalyne yelled.

It did everything, but calm down. I felt my whole body go cold. I stood there. I couldn't move.

"Man they looked so good in the vid. I like the original version of The Call better that this remix," She smiled, looking at me, "Hon, you OK. You look like you've seen a ghost?"

I shook my head lightly, turning to her. "Yea. What? I'm sorry, yea I'm fine," I inhaled sharply.

"You sure?" she put her hand on my shoulder.

"Yea. I'll be back. Bathroom break," I laughed forcefully, walking to the side of the bar to the mini swing door, pushing myself through the crowd. I saw the door coming closer and closer to me. So concentrated on it, I didn't notice the man stepping in front of me. Slamming my body into his, I snapped out of my really deep thought, stepping back, and rubbed my forehead.

"Sorry," I said, hearing him chuckle.

"It's OK," his voice gentle.

I looked up and immediately felt like I was going to break down. There he was...standing in front of me. His blonde hair sticking every direction. His t-shirt raggedy. His jeans baggy. His shoes untied...like always.

"You alright babe?" he smirked.

I shut my eyes, squeezing the tight, closing my mouth, and opening my eyes again to see him.

 _No...it can't be him._

"Yea I'm fine. Sorry, I thought you were someone else," I sighed.

He chuckled, "It's OK. I get that a lot," he smiled.

I returned the gesture. "Excuse me," I said softly, knowing he didn't hear me over the music. I looked down and walked around him, into the restroom. I semi collapsed against the sink counter. My hand clasped the edge. I stared down at the sink then up at the mirror.

"Get a hold of yourself," I muttered. I quickly turned on the faucet, making a bowl with my hands, gathering water in, and splashing it on my face, rubbing the back of my neck. I looked back at my reflection. My hair was starting to grow. Not much. Just about two inches. The brown started to show. The bruises were already on the verge of no show. I didn't realize I was close to hyperventilating. My face twisted in anger. Suddenly my hand was clenched in a fist and colliding with the mirror in front of me, causing it to crack. I looked at my fist, shocked. A little bit of blood was beginning to shed. I opened my hand.

"Shit," I muttered, sticking my injured hand under the water, washing the blood off. I quickly wrapped a paper towel around it, storming out of the restroom, and back to the bar.

"Hey you all right?" Nalyne asked, looking at my hand.

"Yea don't worry about it," I answered her, smiling, running my hand over my really short hair. I missed having my long hair. Why did I cut it again? I sighed and shook my head.

"E, costumer," Nalyne nudged me.

I walked over taking the groups drink and preparing them.

"You have school tomorrow?" she asked, rushing around behind me.

"Yea, I can't believe I've done so much in just a short amount of time," I answered.

I began going too school my second month being here. I had a degree in cosmetology, so I decided to go through a different road. Now I was studying for filming and radio production. It was great.

"You should be proud," She gushed.

I grinned. "I am,"

...a year and a half later...

I laughed looking around the room.

"No guys but seriously. We should make like a really bad ass V-Day party bash. For singles to so Erick won't feel left out," Mike, a tall, tanned guy, chuckled.

"HEY, don't forget about me," I pouted playfully.

"Oh yea and Ester of coarse," he smirked. "Sorry, I sometimes forget your beautiful ass is single. Maybe I should take that title away," he chuckled.

The room was filled with whistles and cat calls. I scoffed playfully and turned away.

"Sorry, I like the title, and plan for it to stay a while longer," I retorted.

"Oooh," the whole group looked at Mike.

"You say that now,"

I laughed. Standing up as I felt my phone ring.

My old one, laid in a bag hidden at the back of my closet. I rarely thought about it since I turned it off on my last use that night at the motel I stayed in a year and a half ago. I had a lot more friends than I did at the beginning. I still worked at the club. My hair was up to my shoulders and still blonde. I decided to keep retouching. Nalyne and I were still friends. We had become closer but lately she seemed distant, and I didn't know why.

I stared at the screen. OK...I take the last thing I said back.

"Hello," I said as I answered.

"E!" I heard Nalyne cry.

"Nay, what is it?" I asked, concern obviously dripping from my voice.

"E, can you come pick me up please," she whispered loudly.

"Where are you?"

"Home," she answered.

I heard rummaging at the other end and a sudden thud.

"NAY!" I quickly hung up, my fingers quickly dialing another number.

"911 state you emergency," I heard a lady say.

"I think my best friend is in trouble," I quickly replied.

After giving them Nalyne's information, I grabbed my jacket, throwing it on.

"Sorry guys but your going to have to continue this planning without me," I told everyone.

"Is everything OK?" David, my good friend, asked.

"I hope so," I mumbled, rushing out the classroom and out the building.

My car came to a sudden stop, my tires screeching against the pavement. I quickly unbuckled my seat belt, jumping out of the vehicle, and dashed towards Nalyne's front door, pushing through the cops.

"Ma'am you can't go in there," a tall, dark haired, green eyed cop said, holding me by the waist.

 _Oh god. No. Please. God Please._

"That's my best friend's house. I was the one who made the call," I growled.

"Oh," his arm slid away from me.

I began to run again towards the door.

"NAY," I shouted. No response. "NAY!"

"E!" I heard.

My head snapped towards the direction of the sound.

"E!" she cried. Coming around the corner of the house. She looked at me and opened her arms running toward me.

I didn't move. If this was two years ago, it would have been like looking in the mirror. Fresh cuts, swells, bruises. She wrapped her hands around me, hugging me tightly as she sobbed. I slowly snapped out of my shock, wrapping my arms around her, crying along with her, falling to the ground.

"How could he do this to you," I cried.

She continued to sob.

"Nay, how long has this been going on?" I pressed, getting angry that she didn't tell me, but more that I didn't notice how my best friend was being treated by someone she trusted...much like I did.

"Nay look at me. Why didn't you tell me?" I held the sides of her face, pulling her away. "WHY? Why did you let Nick do this to you?" I argued, but froze when I realized what I had said.

"What?" she responded silently, sniffling.

I swallowed the knot in my throat.

"Nothing," I answered softly, hugging her again.

Why? Why was he doing this to me? Everywhere I go, something of him is there.

I squeezed my eyes shut, tightening my arms around Nalyne, but being careful not to hurt her.

 _I'm not ready to fall back to square one. I'm NOT falling back to square one._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:

Talking. No. Walking. Yes!

"OH MY GOD. WE FINALY GRADUATED," I yelled and sighed in relief.

"Yea, now all those late nights editing and filming feel like they were worth it," Adam chuckled.

"Wow can't believe it has been four years. Feel like just yesterday," I smiled.

The music boomed through the DJ system. My fellow grad friends and I sat at a table in the club, enjoying the scene, ready to party up.

"Alright, alright. Here we go," Nalyne walked up to our table, placing a bottle of El Presidente Vodka in the center and six shot glasses. "I'm so proud of you girl," she patted my back.

Ever since the day I went to get Nay at her house, she hasn't returned. She began to live with me and honestly, she's an awesome roommate. She started going out again after a small while...dragging me along. As for anything else...well there isn't much to say. Temptations came on contacting the guys trying to find out, in anyway, how Nick was doing after finding out he was arrested in Malibu for a DUI. Somehow I wasn't shocked at that. I was, however, shocked when Nalyne told me about him and Paris Hilton. I mean...Paris Fucking Hilton... you have _got_ to be shitting me.

 _I handed the man in waiting, a screaming orgasm. Smiling sweetly as he winked and left back to his friends. I grabbed a cloth from under the bar and began wiping down the liquids that were spilled a while before._

 _"_ _Can you believe it. I mean seriously, he can do so much better," Nalyne argued behind me._

 _I turned, seeing her look over the magazine she was holding. I turned back, laughing._

 _"_ _Don't you have better things to do than to be reading that trash?" I yelled over my shoulder._

 _"_ _Yes, but when it concerns one of my favorite groups, I tend to not care. And don't act like_ you _never read this stuff," she smiled._

 _I shook my head, throwing the cloth back where it was. "Never said otherwise," I muttered, walking over to her, placing myself to stand next to her, looking over her shoulder._

 _"_ _So, whats so interesting?" I tilted my head to read better, not bothering to look at the photos._

 _"_ _Nick Carter dating Paris Hilton," she said in tone, flipping it around so I could get a better look._

 _There they were. Photos of them holding hands, dancing, and kissing._

 _Why did I think he wasn't going to move on. Of coarse he was. It's not like he was going to wait for me. That was just stupid. Beside that, I walked out on him._

 _"_ _Wow,"_

 _Really?! That's ALL I could say?_

 _"_ _Tell me about it. He could do so much better. His last girlfriend was waaay better," Nalyne argued._

 _Last girlfriend?_

 _"_ _Who was his last girlfriend?" I asked, intrigued._

 _I hadn't heard anything about Nick in the past two years. So I didn't know if this was my first time hearing he had found someone else._

 _"_ _It was a make up artist chick. Long dark hair, chocolatey skin with a little cream...she is very pretty. I met her once, during the Millennium concert in Dallas," she looked up at me quickly and looked back down._

 _I froze._

 _"_ _Oh," was all I let out._

 _"_ _Yea. I wonder what happened to her. Nick never said anything and she just disappeared a little after Black and Blue," she shrugged._

 _I cleared my throat and shrugged nervously._

 _"_ I'll be right back. I made you guys something," Nalyne smiled, turning around, walking towards the back of the club.

"Alright, first shot," Liam shouted over the music, grabbing the already filled shot glass, and holding it up in the air. "Here's to four years of torture finally paid off,"

"Here here," I smiled as everyone lifted their glass up, and tossing the fluid back.

I felt as the alcohol slide down my throat, leaving a satisfied burn.

"Its half chocolate half vanilla since I know E doesn't like chocolate cake," Nalyne shouted.

I turned away from the dance floor and looked at her, smiling.

"Aw thanks Nay," everyone at the table said in unison.

"Alright. Sentimental moment over...LET'S PARTAAAAAY," Rachel shouted, waving her arms around.

Everyone cheered, taking in another shot, and began dancing in their seats as the cake was being cut.

Best. Graduation party. Ever.

My blood was pumping. The music was loud. And I was dancing.

The night was going great. I already had taken 16 shots and I was barely starting my buzz. There were a lot of people. It was a full night.

I smiled, grinding against Liam, my hands clutching onto his shoulders so I wouldn't tip over.

It was hot. _Really_ hot. People were rubbing against each other. The body heat created a nice steamy setting. The music just kept going, people sweated, not caring. Some caught in make out sessions, others just dancing really close. Just enough friction to send you over the edge. The heat was intoxicating.

The song ended and another started immediately after. I pulled away from Liam, leaning a bit forward to whisper in his ear.

"I'm gonna go take a bathroom break," I shouted, moving my, once again, short, red hair to the side.

After finding out about the whole Paris thing, I _definitely_ didn't want to remain sticking with blonde. So I went for a bright cherry, candy apple red. Somehow it ended up with some parts darker than the rest so my hair looked like it was on fire.

Liam nodded, letting me go, and walking back to the table. I smiled, taking a deep breath before pushing myself through the crowd. I entered the restroom seeing the regulars standing in front of the row of mirrors.

"Hey, Ester, whats up? I heard your graduation was today," Ashley, blonde, short, tanned skin, wearing a _extremely_ short pink, glittery dress, greeted me.

I gave her a small wave. "Yea it was. Just celebrating," I chuckled.

"That's awesome. Well congrats," she smiled.

I nodded and left to do my business. Once I was done, I washed my hands and walked out.

I looked over at the bar, seeing Nalyne rushing around. I tried walking towards the bar, getting stopped to be congratulated once in a while. I felt something touch my leg. I looked down, shaking my leg a little, and continued to walk, still looking at my leg. Before I gazed back up, I walked into something hard. I rubbed the top of my head, messing my hair up unintentionally, and moved my gaze up too see what I had bumped into.

"Sorry," the voice chuckled.

"It's OK. I wasn't looking, that's what happens when I don't pay attention," I shrugged, laughing. I looked at the face that belonged to the hard body and immediately, I was choking for air.

I coughed violently, trying to catch my breathe. Doubling over, I hit my chest lightly.

"Hey are you OK?" he asked. His concerned raspy voice, close to my ear. I felt his hand gently touch my back, patting it lightly. I continued to cough. I heard myself begin to wheeze. I seriously could not catch my breathe. I began walking forward, still bent. My eyes moved up, catching sight of the bar. I extended my free arm reaching over for support.

"You need some water?" he asked.

 _Jesus Christ, he followed me. OK Estrella think. Shake him off._ I thought to myself.

"I'm...I'm fine," I forced out. I stood up looking away, avoiding his gaze. I slammed my hand against the bar, catching Nalyne's attention.

"You don't sound OK," he argued.

Typical. Just like him to worry.

"I think you slammed into me harder than we thought," he said, with a light chuckled.

"Hey E what's wro-," Nay trailed off.

I wanted to look at her, but I couldn't, not without being noticed by him.

"Um, hey, your friend could use some water," he said.

I didn't hear Nalyne respond.

"Thanks...here, drink this," he handed me a glass of water.

I took it chugging it down, still not looking at him. I put the glass down, clearing my throat, looking down, having my short hair fall over my face.

"You OK now?" he rubbed my back.

I nodded, "Yea thanks," I saw him lean forward trying to look at me, but I looked away.

"Why won't you let me see you?" he asked softly, almost not being able to hear him over the music.

"Holy shit E," I finally heard Nalyne speak.

I looked up at her. She had a stupid grin plastered on her face.

"Nay...customers?" I gave her a nod to the side.

"Huh, oh right," she laughed lightly. "You want something to drink Mr. McLean?" she asked him, her voice shaking.

I would have smacked her, if I wasn't trying so hard to hide my own face.

"I...I mean, you know, like nothing alcoholic," she nervously added.

"Um no, that's fine," he paused. "You know actually, can you take a bottle of Jack over to the VIP section. The rest of the guys are over there," I could here him smile.

I froze, again. I immediately shot up looking over to the VIP area, and sure enough, there they were.

"Right away," Nalyne curtsied.

I turned back to look at her, catching AJ looking back at me.

"Your friend is funny," he chuckled.

 _He doesn't recognize me?_

I nodded. The chill feeling was all over me. I had to get out.

"So your OK right?" he touched my arm.

I coughed lightly and nodded vigorously.

"You come here often?" he pursued.

I nodded again.

"You like to party a lot?" he chuckled.

I shook my head slowly at first.

"Whats a matter, cat's screwed your voice?"

"It's 'cat's got your tongue'," I answered softly.

"What?" he leaned closer, tilting his head to the side, something he did when he is trying to listen better.

"I said, the correct phrase is 'Cat's got your tongue'. Jesus AJ, way to ruin a good line," I argued.

There was no response.

I tuned to look at him.

There it was. His stunned expression. That...said it all.

"Ella?" he breathed.

I pushed myself away from the bar, turning to head out.

"Hey wait. Where the hell are you going?" he grabbed my arm.

I yanked my arm, trying to literally shake him off.

"Are you fucking kidding me. I haven't seen you in what almost five fucking years, and all you do is run the first chance you get?" he yelled. I continued to try and yank my arm away. "ELLA STOP," he growled.

I didn't move. I looked back at Alex. His brows were furrowed. His lips set in a line. He. Was. Mad.

Suddenly, he pulled my arm hard, causing me to crash into him. He wrapped his arms around me Holding me tightly. I closed my eyes, wrapping my arms around him.

"I'd thought I'd never see you again," he whispered in my ear.

I opened my eyes, shifting them to the VIP area. As soon as I did, I saw Nick and Brian sitting there, having a beer. A girl was sitting on Nick's lap obviously rubbing her ass against Nick, making it seem like she was dancing. More like a stripper dancing for someone.

I sighed. "Neither did I," I whispered.

He pulled away, holding me from my shoulders, and looking at me with a smile, and a few tears. He gave me a once over before swinging his arm over my shoulders.

"Come on let's talk,"

Nick

It. Was. Hot.

Literally.

I looked over at Brian, as he took a sip from his beer. He looked at me and shook his head, turning to stare at the dance floor once again. I just sat there enjoying the minor lap dance I was getting, with a grin on my face.

We were in Nashville working on the new album. It had been our first week here and we had the night off so we all decided to go out. Some of us had to take a little convincing to join.

I shifted my gaze to the girls behind, as it rubbed against me. Oh yea, it was definitely hot.

I chuckled to myself.

"What's so funny baby?" the brunette on my lap, asked, as she laid her back against me, stopping what she was doing before.

"Nothing baby. Keep doing what you were doing," I whispered in her ear, seeing the obvious shills I was giving her, before placing my hand on her hip, motioning her to move.

My attention was caught by a tall, leggy, tanned skin, and dirty blonde chick walking up the stairs towards us, holding a tray, and a bottle of Jack, with shot glasses around.

"Hello. My name is Nalyne. Mr. McLean told me to bring this up to you guys," she smiled, placing the bottle down in front of us.

"Excuse me Nalyne, do you happen to know where AJ is?" Kevin asked, coming up the stairs with Kristin in hand.

"Um last I checked he was with my friend, down at the bar. Do you guys need anything?" Nalyne asked, looking at all of us.

I looked down at the bar, searching for AJ, when I spotted him, talking to a tall, short, _really_ red haired girl.

I tuned out what the guys were telling the bar chick as I studied the girl my brother was talking to. They hugged. If I was just anyone, I would have thought they knew each other.

She moved a strand of her bangs and hooked it over her ear. The light from the bar shining on her face.

My eyes widened.

"Mr. Carter, would you like anything?" I heard the blonde girl ask.

I didn't answer, just kept on staring down at AJ and the girl I knew...I think.

"Dude you OK?" I heard Brian ask.

I pushed the girl on my lap off.

"You...uuuh," I trailed off trying to remember her name.

She nodded, "Nalyne,"

"Nalyne. What's your friends name?" I asked quickly.

"Which one?" her brows narrowed.

I pointed in the direction AJ was.

"E?" she asked.

"Her real name," I breathed.

"Um...I'm not sure how to pronounce it. That's why I call her E," she shrugged.

I looked back down at the bar, staring at her. That _has_ to be her.

"Do you know how to spell it?" I asked, slightly annoyed. I needed to know if it was her.

"Um, hold on," she held up her finger and walked away.

 _What the hell._

I leaned over the railing seeing her walk to the back of the bar. Telling something to the girl that was with AJ and quickly pushed herself through the crowd, and up the stairs.

"This is it," she yelled over the music, handing me a name tag.

 _She works here._

I glance quickly up at her before looking down.

My blood ran cold. My heart beat was going twice as fast. I was sobering up.

There it was in plain letters.

 _Estrella Vasquez._

I clutched at the name tag. Grabbing it tightly in my fist, bringing it up to my lips, closing my eyes.

"Nick are you OK?" I heard Howie ask, before feeling his hand on my back.

I dashed down the stairs. Trying to push through the crowd, getting extremely frustrated when I was being pulled aside. I reached the bar, I began looking around frantically. I caught AJ, grabbing him by the shoulders tightly.

"Where is she?" I breathed. I wanted my answer. I _needed_ my answer.

"Wheres who?" AJ asked stupidly.

I growled, shaking him aggressively, "Cut the bullshit AJ. You knew she was here, you knew all this fucking time," I shoved him.

"Who man? What the fucking are you talking about?" he pushed my arms away, shouting back.

"Star!" my blood was boiling. How could he keep this from me.

"Nick, I have no idea what your talking about," he responded, before walking away, banging his shoulder into mine.

I watched him disappear through the mash of people dancing.

I inhaled deeply, before beginning my way to the outside.

I pushed the doors open, feeling the warm air hit my face. I looked down the street both ways.

"Star?" I called out. I walked down to one side, peeking into the alley. "Star?"

Nothing.

No response. Was this in my head? Why would it be, I haven't thought of her for a while.

I looked down at my hand. Seeing the little bit of blood trickle from the center of my palm. I loosened my fingers, slowly extending my hand, seeing her name tag.

This was definitely not in my head. She's here. And she works here. So that means she lives here.

I looked around one last time before heading back inside.

Estrella

"So what are you doing here?" the first question I could think of, I asked.

"We're um actually planning on recording our album here. We were just taking this week to um, get around more. I guess. Just get used to everything," he chuckled, nervously.

I nodded, not saying anything more.

There was a moment of awkward silence before Alex began cracking the ice...or at least intended to.

"So how have you been? What happened too you? Are you living here? Are you OK?" Alex asked, burning through questions.

"Whoa, a little to much there Alex," I chuckled.

"Sorry. I just...you know its been four years," he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Yea. I'm sorry," I looked down. "I've been good. I just finished school. I just graduated actually. Today to tell you the truth. It-," I trailed off, seeing Nalyne walk quickly to the back of the bar, "Nay? You OK?" I asked turning my body to her.

"Yea just getting your name tag," she smiled.

I gave her a confused look.

"Why?"

"Oh um," she giggled. "Nick Carter is taking a really big interest in you," she smile. "I'll be right back," and she walked away.

My eyes widened, turning to AJ.

"Alex. I can't," I breathed. "I can't," I clutched at his hand.

"It's OK," he assured me, "Listen, as much as I don't want to let you go again, I'll stall him, give you some time, but just promise me something?" He looked down at my hands on his, standing up.

"What is it?" I asked quickly, wanting to go away.

He looked back at me, placing a hand on my cheek caressing it softly.

"Don't run away again...please?" he pleaded.

I stared at him and nodded. I gave him a quick hug and headed out the front door, seeing Nick from the corner of my eye, rushing down the steps from the VIP area.

I turned desperately trying to figure out what to do.

"E, you OK baby girl," Hansel, one to the bouncers, asked.

"Yea Hans I'm good," I answered quickly, before running around the corner into the alley.

"Star?" I froze, hearing his voice.

Heard him mutter a string of curses as I looked around trying to see my way out. I quickly dove behind the dumpster.

"Star?" I heard him again. Closer this time, sending chills down my spine.

I didn't hear anything anymore. I quickly peeked out, seeing him stand there, staring at my name tag, with a pained look.

I felt a light sting in my chest. I quietly started to get up, moving out from where I was hiding. I wanted to reach out and touch. I wanted that pained look to go away.

He quickly turned around and walked back inside, making me realize what I was about to do.

"Shit," I cussed under my breathe. I turned to look at Hansel, who had a concerned look on his face. "Hans can you tell Nay I went home, please?" I sighed.

"Yea. You sure your OK darling?" he looked at me.

I nodded and walked away, not wanting to get the car, just walk.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four:

Kiss Me

I couldn't sleep.

Not. One. Bleeding. Bit.

Everything from the previous night was running through my mind so fast, it was difficult to even _think_ of sleep.

Seeing AJ. Seeing Nick. Being so close. Hearing him again. Knowing that they're probably going to be here for sometime, scares me. I just...need deep help.

 _Knock knock._

"What?" I yelled out.

 _E, are you OK? You just left the club last night without a word. What happened. Nick found you and freaked you out or something. Did he and AJ offer up a threesome?_ I hear Nalyne snicker.

I sighed, grabbing my pillow, shoving it against me forcefully, hugging it tightly.

"No, I didn't get to talk to him. But it's fine, I'm not going to see him again anyways," I uncomfortably, informed her.

"Pf-ft yea right might not be so sure. They are staying at the Hotel two blocks from here. We might run into them," she laughed.

Fuck," I muttered, burying my face into the pillow, slamming my hand against the mattress.

 _What?!_ She shouted.

"Nothing. How do you know where they are staying?" I asked, my question being slightly muffled by my pillow.

 _Oh well uh, AJ actually, gave me a card to give to you. Said it was really important. It has all the info on it._ She informed me.

I lifted my face from my pillow, looking at my door. Quickly as you can say "testosterone", I jumped out of my bed, and ran to my door, swinging it open.

"You didn't tell them...you know...where we lived...did you?" I asked, lowering my head as I looked at her.

She shook her head, handing me the card, "Nope. He sounded really eager for me to give you this," she shrugged, making a 'oh well' face.

I bit the side of my lip, nodding, looking down at the card in my hands. It had AJ's cell, hotel room number, hotel name, and e-mail. I looked up at Nalyne, shoving the card in my pocket.

"Oh by the way, you need a new name tag," she smirked.

I gave her a confused look.

"Nicky boy took it and didn't bring it back," she shook her head, the smirk still placed on her lips.

I sighed.

"So...," she lingered.

I looked up at her and shook my head. "So what?"

"What are you going to do?" she smirked.

"First, get that smirk off your face. Nothing that you have in mind." I slapped the air. "Second, I'll be back later," I told her, as I grabbed my sneakers and walked out of my room, hopping as I put them on.

I heard her laugh.

"Have fun," she sang.

"It's not like that!" I shouted once I was out the door.

I walked to my car.

I stood there as I debated going walking instead.

 _It's not that far...But what if things go wrong and I need something faster than my legs?_ I thought.

 _Just get in the fucking car._ The little voice in the back of my head, yelled.

I slid into the drivers side, sticking my key into the ignition, first thing. Switching my car on, I revved up the engine, pulling out of the driveway. I tapped my thumbs on the steering wheel to my Warrant CD playing.

I hadn't noticed my breathing changed, as I took a turn to pull up to the parking Lot to the Hampton Inn. I breathed in deeply, peeking up from my windshield, at the building.

 _Here goes nothing._ I stepped out of my car, locking it, and walking onto the sidewalk. I stared at the floor as I walked around the corner, to the front of the building.

"Nah man, I'm just going to head out and get some Mickey D's or something," I looked up, seeing Nick walking out with Mike, his body guard, and Kevin.

"Gotta slow down on that stuff Nick. It ain't healthy for you," Kevin lectured.

I stood there frozen, as they walked closer and closer to me.

I looked around frantically, finding a bush near the entrance. I jumped, diving in, onto the grass.

"What was that?" I heard Kevin, ask.

"What was what?" Nick responded.

"I thought I saw someone jump into the bush?"

"Your seeing things man, lay off the crack," Nick laughed.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"OK, you heard that right? Did you hear that?" Kevin asked again.

"What man?" Nick grunted, lightly. Slight annoyance dripped out of his mouth.

I covered my mouth quickly.

"I swear man, I think there is someone there," Kevin insisted.

I stuck my head out a little, from the side of the bush, seeing Kevin, Nick, and Mike standing only fifteen feet away from me. I whimpered in fear.

"Whoa," Nick said quickly.

"You heard that right?" Kevin quickly turned to Nick, pointing at him.

"Yea," he responded.

I heard footsteps approaching me. The sound getting louder and louder. I squeezed my eyes shut, breathing in and out deeply. I hugged my legs, putting my chin onto my knees. I heard the leaves at the top of my bush rustling. I held my breathe. My ears perked up, waiting for what was to come next.

"Hey guys wait up, decided to join ya. Leigh wasn't picking up," Brian shouted after them.

"Oh well the more the merrier," I heard Nick say. Shaking from the sound of his voice. Knowing I just needed to stand up to have him in front of me.

"Alright then lets go," Kevin said.

I heard footsteps again and they quickly faded. I peeked my head out, watching them enter a vehicle. I exhaled deeply.

I stood up, walking around the bush and entering the building. I stopped abruptly, looking over at the receptionist. I looked over at the elevators and back at the lady at the back of the desk. I turned around and ran out of the building running back to my car. Pulling out my keys, I presses the trunk button on the remote, popping the door open. I lift the door pulling out my make up bag, jacket, and beanie cap. I slipped the jacket on and pulled my beanie on. Pulling my make up side bag over my shoulder, I closed the trunk and headed back inside the building.

"Hi," I smiled politely.

"Hello, how may I help you," the receptionist asked, returning the gesture.

"I have to get AJ McLean's room number," I informed her, picking up my make up bag and placing it on the counter.

She looked me over. "I can't give you that information," she answered.

"I'm his make up artist," I answered back.

"I'll have to call him," she smiled quickly, picking up the phone.

I sighed, opening my side bag, reaching into one of the secret pocket, pulling out a badge placing it in front of her.

She leaned forward, reading over my badge.

It read

 _Name: Estrella Vasquez_

 _Position: Make-up artist_

 _Backstreet Boys crew_

It was my badge to get myself backstage and identify myself as part of the Backstreet crew. I don't know why I kept it. Honestly, I don't know why. I glanced at the picture. It felt weird looking at it. I mean, it's been four years since I've seen myself like that. I got so used to seeing photos and my reflection with short hair and a different color.

I looked back at the lady as she put the phone down and messed with something on the computer.

"Room 1028," she informed me.

I nodded, grabbing my badge and shoving it into my pocket. "Thanks," I walked over to the elevator, stepping in and pressing the assumed number I thought the room was in. I took a few deep breathes trying to collect my thoughts onto what the _hell_ I was doing. As the elevator doors opened, I stepped out, turning to the side, entering the hallway. I looked at the sign on the wall reading _1010 1020_ _._

I turned over to the direction of 1020 down. Looking to each side as I walked slowly down the hall, searching for the right room number.

"1023, 1024, 1025, 26, 27...28," I whispered to myself.

I stared at the door for a while before finally knocking lightly on the pale wooded door. I leaned my shoulder against the wall and the small part of the door frame that was peeking out of the door, moving out of sight from the peephole. There was no response.

I knocked again...waited...waited...waited. I sighed and banged on the door with my fist.

I heard a loud growl. I snickered. "I said I didn't wa-," AJ cut off when he saw me stand there.

"Hey there," I smiled.

"Ella," I breathed and smiled. "Hey," he moved to the side, allowing me to enter.

I stepped in. "Almost had a little trouble downstairs at the front desk," I chuckled looking around the room.

"How did you get out of that," he asked, closing the door.

I slipped my fingers into my pocket, pulling my badge out again, and holding it out in front of me.

"You kept it?" he laughed.

"Yea," I shrugged, putting it back in my pocket.

"You still got your bag of mysteries," he chuckled.

"Huh?"

He nodded towards my side bag.

"Oh yea," I laughed a little.

When I was part of the guys crew, I _never_ let them look in my bag. Even though it was just my make-up. I just didn't like anyone touching my make up. _Especially_ my make up. I always provided my own. I never used any given to me. I know. I'm weird like that.

I looked over at AJ, smiling nervously. We stood there awkwardly.

I dropped my shoulders, "Seriously? This is ridiculous," I groaned, marching over to him and hugging him tightly.

He stood there for a minute, not hugging back. I was about to pull away, until I felt his arms wrap around me.

I sighed in relief and he chuckled.

"What?" I asked, curiously, as I pulled away enough to see him.

"It's good to know I'm not the only one that missed someone," he grinned.

"Well of coarse I missed you, you dork," I replied, shoving him lightly.

"Well it's hard to tell with the way you reacted last night. Seemed like you were pretty bent on not having us see you," he crossed his arms over his chest.

I sighed, looking down. "It...it's not that Jay,"

"Then what is it?" he cut me off.

I sighed, again. _Really have to stop doing that._

"I just...I," I began.

"What? What is it?" he asked, getting a little annoyed.

"I don't know," I answered quietly.

"Bullshit," he hissed.

I looked up at him, surprised. AJ never, _EVER,_ talked to me like that. I don't think I can remember a time when he was mad at me. Knowing he was mad at _me_ mad ME mad.

"I left because I didn't need Nick anymore. I already had everything I wanted," I raised my brow, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

OK so. Well...we know that's a lie, but I couldn't help it.

He stood there, quiet, his expression still the same.

"OK," he cleared his throat, "What was the real reason?"

I groaned loudly stomping my foot. "Because. I knew that if you were there, that meant HE was there, and I didn't want to see him, because then everything I built for myself would come crashing down in a matter of seconds, so I wanted to do the first thing that came to mind and that was run," I shouted, taking in a deep breathe once I finished.

He stayed silent.

"Please say something," I said, quietly.

"Like I would have told him you were there," he quipped.

"I know, that's not the point. He could have seen me...and HE DID," I yelled at the end, remembering the night before.

"He wasn't going to hurt you," he answered me silently, taking a few steps toward me. "He's learned how to control himself," he defended.

I shrugged, "Can we talk about something else please?" I requested.

He smiled and nodded, moving towards the bed and sitting down. He patted the space next to his, waiting for me to move and sit next to him.

"Don't worry. The bed has no other cooties besides my own," he laughed when I scrunched up my face in slight disgust.

"Gross Alex," I walked over, sitting down next to him, as he continued to crack up. Soon enough, I began laughing along to, which only made him laugh more as I began to snort a little.

"I...I forgot...forgot that you snort when you laugh to hard," he said, catching his breathe.

I shoved and cracked up even more when he fell off onto his ass.

"Meanie," he stuck his tongue out.

The laughing died down when I notice I was laughing by myself. I looked at AJ and saw him smiling at me.

"Have you eaten?" he asked.

I shook my head.

He stood up and walked over to the entertainment center, grabbing the menu.

"Let's get something," he informed me, not looking up as he grabbed his phone.

Just like old times...minus one.

"Nick was so mad that time," AJ cackled.

I nodded, a big grin on my face, as I took a bite out of the strawberry with white chocolate, in my hand.

AJ and I decided to order a complete sweet snack buffet to the room. We sat there for what seemed like hours, laughing, eating, and talking about the stupid shit we did back then.

"Dude it took him _so_ long to remove all the paint," I laughed, almost choking on the piece of fruit. "It was hilarious. His face when we were about to throw the balloons, 'Really guys, water balloons that's the best you can do?' We showed him," I continued to laugh.

I looked out the window noticing that it was already dark.

 _Knock, knock, knock._

"Who is it?" AJ shouted, taking a sip of his sprite.

 _Dude, I'm going out. Kev and Brian are staying, you wanna join?_ Nick shouted from the other side.

AJ quickly looked at me.

"I should get going, it's already dark out anyways. You can go and I'll slip out once I know your gone," I informed him.

"You don't have to," he started.

I sighed. "Yea...yea I do," I nodded.

"Yea just give me a minute!" he exclaimed

.

 _Alright. Hurry up._

I stood up looking at him.

"Thanks for the food. Even though it really wasn't food," I chuckled.

"Yea don't worry about it. Am I going to be able to see you again?" he asked, standing up, with hope in his eyes.

I shrugged.

"You can't avoid him forever," he whispered.

"I can try," I looked down.

"Well, if you decide not to. His room is 1026, right next to Brian's," he informed me.

I nodded, watching him walk to his bag, grabbing a shirt and putting on. He walked over to the door, looking at me as I hid behind it. Turning the knob, he opened it and stepped out.

"Took ya long enough," Nick retorted.

"You can't rush goodness," AJ smirked.

Once he closed the door. I walked over to the window, waiting to see them walk out to the parking lot. I stood there, think about what AJ had said. He's right. I can't avoid him forever. I mean, look at what happened last night. I was this close to literally running into him again. It's only a matter of time.

I sighed, closing my eyes for a second, before opening them again, and seeing Nick hop towards the vehicle with AJ and Howie behind him. I ran to the door, opening it slowly, peeking my head out to see if anyone was in the hallway. (and by anyone I meant Kevin or Brian or any of the crew members) When I saw no one was there I quickly ran out, dashed through the hall, and around the corner to the elevators. Entering the lobby, I turned to see the lady at the desk. I smiled at her, and she returned the gesture. I walked around the side of the hotel, reaching my car. I slipped in, turned the car on, and pulled out of the parking lot.

Today...today was a good day. I laughed at myself a little, thinking about almost being caught by my boyfriend. No. I shook my head. Not my boyfriend. Ex. I growled. Maybe I should see him. I already know his room number right? Why let good information go to useless waste? No. NO! Bad Estrella, Bad! I let out a small whine, groaning at the end. He looks so good. He's gained a little wait but it looks good. And his hair...OH MY GOD his hair. I just want to run my fingers through it and...NO! Stop it...Jesus...I need to get laid. I shook my head, looking outside my window, realizing I was already and my pad. I sighed, stepping out of the car, and walked to the front door, unlocking it. I stepped in, putting my keys on the ashtray that was placed on the small table. I grabbed the yellow post it note, that was stuck to the mirror on the wall, and read it.

 _E, dinners in the micro. Went to work, see ya later._

I crumbled up the piece of paper and shoved it in my pocket. I walked to my room, kicking the door shut, and opened my closet door. Reaching up, I grabbed a blue box wrapped in red tape with black sharpie scribbled: _Do Not Open_ on it. I walk over to my bed, crawling on my knees to the middle, and sit down, placing the box in front of me. Sliding my hand under my pillow, next to the one I sleep on, I pull of my pocket knife, snapping the blade out, I slice through the tape, flipping the top of the box open. My eyes scanned through the box. Moving my hand into the box, immediately grabbing the first thing. A photo. The photo had Nick and I laying in the water, with me on top of his back. It was a day we had off, we had decided to go to the beach. We were somewhere in New Mexico. Nick was throwing me around in the water, when I had caught him off guard, and tackled him, jumping on his back, as AJ took the photo. His hair was sticking to his face, water droplets running down the strands of his hair. I smiled at the memory, putting the photo aside, before picking up a long red ribbon with a silver band that had amethysts all around, with _Nick & Star _engraved inside the ring. I held it in my hand, grabbing another photo. I had taken that one. It was of Me and Nick kissing, standing in front of the Eiffel Tower in the snow, at night, so the lighting in the back was perfect.

 _"_ _It's so cold," I breathed, cuddling up into my thick, puffy, comfy jacket._

 _I shivered as a snow flake landed at the back of my neck. I pulled the hair band off my hair, letting my long, curly, brown hair down._

 _"_ _Why don't you come over here. I can warm you up," Nick smirked, wrapping his arm around me._

 _I snuggled up closer to him, lying my head on his shoulder. I moved slightly, dipping my face into the crook of his neck, making him jump a little._

 _"_ _Your skin is freezing, girl," he whispered in my ear._

 _I giggled, standing on my toes, kissing him on his cheek. I felt his arm tighten around my waist._

 _"_ _Uh uh, my lips woman," he smiled, turning to look at me._

 _I bit my bottom lip before pressing my lips against his. I quickly grabbed my Canon camera, snapping a photo of us._

 _"_ _I have something for you," he muttered against my lips._

 _My eyes were still closed, as I felt his arm rub up and down my back, warming me up a little._

 _"_ _You want to know what it is?" he chuckled after a while of not hearing my response._

 _I opened my eyes to see him staring at me deeply._

 _"_ _Nick I already told you," I started._

 _"_ _I know, I know, but I couldn't help it," he smirked._

 _I sighed. He pulled away, reaching into his jacket pocket pulling out a small ring box._

 _I gasped looking up at him, then back at the box._

 _"_ _Nick," I whispered._

 _He chuckled. "It's not what you think. Well not fully anyway."_

 _He opened the box, revealing a silver band with small amethysts all around. He picked it out of the box, snapping the box shut, shoving it into his pocket, and grabbed my hand._

 _"_ _I know your birthstone," he chuckled. "I'm not sure its going to fit though," he slipped it onto my middle finger and cracked up laughing when he realized it was a tad_ too _big for my finger._

 _I smiled, pulling out a long red ribbon from my camera bag, putting it through the ring. I wrapped the ribbon around my neck, doing a bow at the end. I looked down at the ring, holding it in my fingers, noticing the word inside. I looked up and smiled at him, seeing him smile down at me. I placed both my hands on either side of his face and kissed him. I felt him shudder as I moved my hands to his neck and my finger played with the hairs at the back._

 _"_ _I love you," I whispered, kissing him again._

 _"_ _I love you too," he smiled. "Now come on. Let's go back to the hotel, so you can warm up," he said, pulling my by my hand, toward the direction of where we were staying._

 _"_ _And how do you plan on doing that Mr. Carter?" I giggled._

 _He smirked, "Well your just going to have to wait and find out," he laughed._

I traced my fingers over the photo, placing it to the side. I saw my old phone lying there, which I still pay for. Don't know why. I took in a deep breathe, flipping my phone open, and pressing the red button. My phone played a small melody before showing my wallpaper, for seconds later to be ringing non-stop. After ten minutes of it ringing, I groaned and fell back onto the bed. My phone began to beep, indicating that the memory box was full. I held up my phone. It had _100 text messages_ on the screen. I pressed open. Reading the first few. They were from AJ, asking if I was OK. If I was alive. The rest were from Nick.

 _Star, please. Tell me your OK at least. -Nick_

 _Are you not coming back? :(- Nick_

 _Baby please, answer the phone- Nick_

 _DAMMIT STAR PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE- Nick._

I sighed scrolling through the first month of text messages, deleting them one by one, each time, a new one popped up.

Then...it finally stopped. I went to the top of the text box, seeing the last message. _6/16/06 11:23 pm._ I stared at it strangely, before pressing open.

 _Hey...I found you- Nick_

I re-read and re-read the message that was sent to me last night. I looked at the top of my screen, seeing my voice mail image, blink. I scanned through my phone and dialed my voice mail.

 _Message One received on 2/28/02 at 7:10 am_

 _Star. I haven't slept all night. I'm worried. I know you talked to AJ, but he won't tell me anything. Just...*sigh* please, come home. I love you. I-_

 _Message deleted._

 _Message Two sent on Monday, 3/ 4/ 02 at 6:55 pm_

 _Baby, please call me_ _ *****_ _cries * Star I promise I won't do again I sw-_

 _Message deleted._

 _Message three sent on Sunday, 3/10/02 at 6:00 a.m_

 _STAR. ANSWER THE GOD DAMN PHONE. FUCKING HELL YOU BETTER ANSWER THE-_

 _Message deleted._

 _Message four sent on Wednesday, 3/20/02 at 10:00 P.M_

 ** _Music in the background_** _Staaaaaaaaar. Why don't you love me anymore? You don't care for me? Did I not satisfy you enough?_

Drunk.

 _Message ended._

 _Message five sent on Thursday, 3/21/02 at 1:34 a.m_

 _HEY. You listen to me bitch. Your never going to find someone who can fuck you as good as me. I'm the only one that can make that sweet little pussy of yours feel good. * girl in background= baby come on get off the phone. My kitty cat is waiting.* I'm going baby...damn you feel go-_

 _Message deleted._

-15 minutes later-

 _Message Nineteen sent on Friday, 6/16/06 at 11:30 p.m_

 _Um, Hey Star. How have you been? Uh, I...I'm not sure if you still have this number...* chuckles nervously* Judging by the fact that your voice mail answered, you do. Stupid me. *Chuckles * Um. Your probably wondering Why I'm calling huh? Or well...maybe...maybe not. Um *clears throat * I well I- girl in background – Hey baby, you talkin' to? Why don't you get off and pay attention to me * Not right now. Can you like, go away please? *Girl in background- What? * Jesus, can't you see I'm busy. *he growled, and there was a huff, and heels in the distance, *_

 _So um, like I was saying I-_

 _End of message._

 _Message Twenty sent on Friday, 6/16/06 at 11:37 P.M_

 _Hey sorry * chuckles* got cut off. Um so yea. I was just calling to...Shit...Fuck OK I sound like a dork. OK I saw you tonight, and I'm pretty sure it was you. I know it was...I miss you Star. I just want to see you. To talk to you...to touch you. I just want to make sure your really there. I didn't know how you were all this time. Looks like your doing good. *sigh * well, this is my number. You'll probably get it in your missed calls thing, so yea. um...bye...I guess._

 _End of message._

 _You have no more messages._

I closed my eyes, moving onto my side.

OK...Now I _really_ don't know what to do.

 _Just fuck it._ I told myself.

My breathing steadied and I began to drift off.

 _Where is my phone? Where is my phone? Where is my phone?_

I flipped my pillows over and over, throwing them off the bed. Checking the box, moving the quilts, and checking up the bed. The ringing continued, going on and on. I couldn't remember where I left it, until I recalled the jacket I had on. I quickly walk over to the foot bench and the foot of the bed, digging into the jacket pocket, snatching my phone, but I was too late and I had a missed call. I growled. I walked out of my room, down the hall and into the kitchen. Walking over to the microwave, I picked up what Nalyne had made yesterday, which was pizza, and stuck it into the microwave, heating it up. Minutes later, I was leaning against the counter chewing on a slice of mushroom pizza, staring at AJ's card.

"Sup loser. Where were you all day yesterday?" Nalyne entered, scratching her messy, bed haired, head.

"What are you my mother?" I munched on my pizza.

"God no. Can you imagine, putting up with _you_ ," she laughed.

I stuck my tongue out. "Shut up. I ain't that bad," I looked down at my slice.

"You going to work today?" she walked around me to get a cup.

"Yea I was just gonna eat first then head out," I took another bite.

"Head out? Now? What time is it?" she looked at me and at the stove clock.

"Five in the afternoon," I answered nonchalantly.

"What? I slept that long? Jesus," Nalyne shook her head.

"You got in late, no biggie," I stated, finishing my last piece.

"But still, my sleep cycle is going to be fucked," she groaned.

"Take a sleeping pill," I pointed at the medicine cabinet.

"Won't work," she pouted.

"Get high then," I shrugged. "My stash is under my mattress.

"You bought some more?"

"Yea, just a nick," I informed her, then snorted a little.

"What?" she ask, looking at me strangely.

"Nothing," I shook my head. "Alright, I'm out," I leaned over to her, kissing her cheek, then, headed to the front, grabbing my keys and stepping out.

"Too. Many. People," I growled, dashing behind the bar, too take everyone's order.

"We need reinforcements," Alan, our boss, laughed.

I passed behind him, with a glass full of grapefruit juice, and gave him a quick kick in the ass

"Ay," he pouted.

I stuck my tongue out at him,

"Don't do that unless your planning on using it," he smirked.

I rolled my eyes as I put vodka into the glass handing it to the guy in front of me.

"The guys up there need checking on refills, E. Go make a round," Alan stated.

"Got it," I called out, walking out quickly, from behind the bar, grabbing a tray on my way. I push through the dancing crowd, heading up to the VIP area. I reach the top step, looking around to check who might need refills.

"Fuck...me," I muttered, seeing all five guys, some sitting, some standing, there, just a few feet away from me. As I debate whether to turn around or stay, my body slowly starts to turn to head downstairs.

"Um, Hey Miss, can I get a refill?" I hear behind me.

 _Great. Shit. Why did I come to work today? Why the_ FUCK _did I come to work today?_

I slowly turned back around, plastering my best fake smile, walking over to Brian as quickly as I could, picking up the cup, and started heading back to the stairs, seeing Nick attentive of all my movements, which made me want to move faster.

"Wait," Brian called out.

I stopped, begging the gods, for them to let me go.

"Yes?" I asked, not turning.

"Don't I know you?" he asked, his voice sounding familiar.

"Uuhh, uum," I stuttered.

"Brian, let the girl do her job," I heard a female, say,

Looking over my shoulder to see Kristen, standing next to Kevin. I looked back down, quickly passing my fingers through my hair, brushing it down, in front of my face.

"Yea Bri," I heard AJ say. I sighed. "Oh Ella, can you bring me another beer, Hun? Thanks," I could hear his smile, as he walked over to me, reaching over my shoulder placing the bottle on the tray I was holding, and placing a small kiss on my cheek.

 _That...fucking...ASSHOLE._

"Ella?" I heard Brian repeat in discovery, yet questioning.

"Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit," I whispered too myself.

I dashed down the stairs, before any of the rest of the band members could say anything.

Reaching the bar, I refilled Brian's drink, and got another beer for AJ. Taking in a deep breathe, I headed back up the stairs.

Reaching the last step again, everyone's, and I mean _Everyone's,_ eyes were on me. I walked over to Brian, placing his drink in front of him, smiling sweetly. Turning around, walking toward AJ and his stupid grin, I glare at him, shoving his beer into his hand.

He laughed.

"Ella?"

I mentally cried, letting out a little whine.

I turned too see Kevin. He stared at me intently. I dipped my head down a little, my eyes still on him, as I pouted. Something I always did when I got in trouble with Kevin. A smile spread across his face. He strode across the room, walking over the table, and pulled me into his arms.

"Oh my god. You have no idea how good it is too see you," He said, hugging me tightly. "I was so worried," he whispered.

My eyes began to sting. My arms moving on their own, wrapping themselves around Kevin.

I sniffled and he pulled me away, looking at me.

"Sorry, there's something in my eye," I looked down, covering my face, hearing Kevin chuckle.

"You haven't changed," I heard Howie laugh over Kevin's shoulder, walking around him and pulling me into a hug.

"WOO, GROUP HUG," AJ shouted, from behind me, throwing his arms around Howie and I.

Soon I was being engulfed by four backstreet boys. And soon...I broke down. They pulled me over to sit down on the black and red couch.

"How have you been?" Brian asked, rubbing my back gently.

I nodded, "I've been...g...good," I chocked out.

"Tell what yesterday was Ella," AJ grinned.

They all stared at him...even me.

"Y..yesterday?" I looked at him confused.

"Remember?" he pushed. Mouthing the words 'graduation'

"Oh," I took a deep breathe, trying to calm my tears, turning to Kevin, "I graduated the day before yesterday," I smiled weakly.

Kevin grinned hugging me tightly, again.

"Yay another group hug," AJ shouted. Everyone laughed, even me.

Nick

It's like she never left. It's as if those four years just disappeared. How can they be so calm? Why am I the only one furious about this situation? It's obvious she's trying to avoid us. She had us thinking she was fucking dead for four fucking years.

She looks so good. She's filled out quite well. She looks taller. Her hair is different. I loved her hair. Her long, silky smooth, brown hair. Why did she have to cut it and in turn dye it _that_ type of red? And damn look at that ass. She definitely did not have an ass when we first met. Now its just...fuck.

I shook my head lightly. Pulling out of my thoughts. Everyone was around her asking her questions hugging her...repeatedly. Giving her all the attention.

She started getting up, still smiling at everyone. A few tears on her face. AJ handed her his beer and she placed it on the tray.

"Hey baby," I heard a girl whisper in my ear.

"Hey," I replied, my mind wondering off as the girl next to me, leaned forward, showing off an awful amount of cleavage. "Want something babe," I smirked, looking back at her face, seeing a small grin.

"I can think of a few things," she bit her lip, placing her hand on my knee.

"Oh yea?" she nodded "Let's go dance first huh darling?" I took a huge gulp from my beer, before standing up and crashing into something, suddenly feeling something extremely wet against me. I looked in front of me, seeing a stunned Star. Her eyes were wide, but eying me over, seeing my now wet shirt. Her mouth hung open, as she held her breathe.

I growl lightly.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," she repeated

I lifted my hands and brushed my cold, wet shirt, catching sight of Star flinching. Like she was scared...of coarse she was going to be scared.

I stopped my movements and just stared at her. Before I could say anything she was kneeling down on the floor, placing the broken bottle glass on the tray, pulling out a towel she had hanging from her back pocket, to wipe the beer off the floor. When she finished she placed the wet towel on the tray, picked up the tray, and walk off.

"Well that was rude," she girl sneered.

I stayed in silence.

"Geez Nick, could ya be more clumsy?" AJ barked.

"At least you could have apologized," Brian added.

I shook my head at them.

"Don't be such an asshole Nick," Kevin growled.

"Yea man, I mean, you act like you didn't even miss her," Howie commented.

I glared at them.

"Whatever," I hissed, before grabbing the girls hand, dragging her away. "Come on,"

Man...what the fuck am I doing?

Estrella

Wow. Talk about clumsy idiot. I'm just as worse as the first fucking time I met him. Palm to the face. Jesus seriously.

I reached the bar, throwing the wet towel into the sink, and throwing the broken beer glass, into the trash. I rest my hands on the bar counter, dropping my head, and sighing deeply. I look up seeing Nick walk down the stairs.

 _No, no, no, no. Shit. Oh god, please. Don't bring him over here. Please. I'll do anything. I'll even help AJ perfect his weird-o-ness, but please don't send him here. Fuck._

My eyes stay on him as he moves down to the dance floor. I drop my head lower, my bangs covering my eyes. My eyes shift back up to him. He glances over before turning to dance with big, fake, chesty girl. I sighed in relief. I look up again, seeing them practically having sex on the dance floor. I growled grabbing a bottle of Jack and a few shots, heading back to the VIP section.

This is going to be a long _fucking_ night.

"Today was a good night huh?" Alan patted me on the back.

I smiled quickly, nodding my head.

He laughed his hearty laugh.

"You better get a good nights rest," he pointed.

I chuckled. "Psh Yea I am, don't worry," I nodded.

"Alright, see ya tomorrow...er...later," he laughed and walked away.

I sighed, leaning my head on the counter bar.

"Ellaaaaa," I heard my favorite raspy voice, boy call out.

"Whaaaat," I whined.

"Is your shift almost done girl?" he giggled.

"Oh god," I groaned silently, "Yes, why?"

"I need a favor," he started.

I lifted my head off the counter to look at him, seeing Nick behind him giggling with fake boobies, and AJ with his arm around Ashley.

"What is it?" I groaned.

"Can you," he reached back, grabbing Nick by the collar of his shirt, pulling him up in front of us, causing him to stumble a bit, as he broke into a fit of giggles. "take Nicky boy here, back to the room?" he grinned.

I glared at him, "Alex," I scowled, growling silently.

"Hey," fake boobies, whined.

"Shush," Ashley sneered. "Don't you ever just shut up seriously," she smiled over at me.

I mentally smirked, putting a note to thank her later.

"Awesome, great, thanks. Nicky, your leaving with Ella," he patted him on the shoulder, before walking away.

"That little shit," I squealed.

"Heeeeeey, there beautiful," Nick slurred, falling into another fit of giggles.

I sighed. "Come on monkey bone," I said, jumping over the counter, grabbing his arm, and wrapping it around me.

He gasped, "that's an awesome movie," he laughed. "Talking monkey,"

I snickered, smirking to myself.

"Yay, I made you smile," he giggles, poking my cheek.

I smiled widely, scrunching up my nose, turning, and snapping my teeth at him. He pulled his finger away, shaking it.

"Ah ah. No biting," he tsked, then laughed.

Then, Salt n' Pepa's song "Push it" began to play.

"Woo," Nick cheered, removing his arm from around me, and began jumping and booty popping.

I laughed, walking over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Aah, push it. Aah push it. Push it real good," he recited, dancing in my arms, as I tried pulling him out the club.

"Nick, stay. Don't move," I pointed. He pulled his lips in his mouth, as his eyes widened, looking from side to side, standing still, "Good boy," I ran over to my car, quickly unlocking it, and climbing in, driving around the corner to the front, seeing Nick beginning to walk away. I pushed my car to park, jumping out, and running up to him, grabbing his arm.

"Over here Blondie," I pulled him, making him turn.

He stumbled a bit as he followed me. I pull open the passenger door. I waited for him to get in, but he just stayed standing there like an idiot.

"Nick..." I said, waiting for him to snap out of it.

"I looooove youuuu," he sang, leaning forward, almost tripping, dropping a sloppy kiss under my eye. I closed my eyes as reflex.

"Get in the car," I shoved him, as he laughed, entering the vehicle. I slammed the door shut, smiling as I walked around. Before opening the door, I removed my smile and stepped in. Putting the car in drive, heading towards the hotel. I look at the buildings, passing, concentrating on the road. I feel something move on my thigh. I quickly look down, seeing Nicks hand 'sneakingly' moving to my inner thigh, his fingers trying to slip under my jean skirt. I slap his hand.

"Hands too yourself butt head," I glance at him.

He giggles, "Yes Beavis," he playfully saluted.

"Oh brother," I muttered, shaking my head.

I pulled into the parking lot, turning to see Nick, passed out, with his head against the window.

I bit my bottom lip, exiting the car, going around, and slowly opening Nicks door, having him slide off. Before he hit the ground I caught him, bringing him up, and _waking_ him up.

"Heeeey I know you. Your my girlfriend," he slurred, tilting his head to the side, "what up with your hair?" he added.

"Nick I need you too help me," I grunted, trying to lift him up. "Can you walk please?" I asked, using my little girl voice, that he loved so much.

He smirked, leaning his head, lazily, on the crook of my neck, dropping soft, sloppy kisses, and lightly licking my skin.

"OK," he whispered, and began walking.

I dragged him through the lobby, earning a few curious stares, and a 'what the fuck' stare from the front desk lady. We reach the elevators, entering and going up. Once reached on the floor, I pull him out, dragging him down the hall. We reached his door and I push him onto the wall, exhaling deeply.

"What?" he asks, after a few minutes of me staring at him.

"The key?" I asked, putting my hand out.

"What key?" his brows furrowed.

"The key to your room Nick," I snapped, getting impatient, shaking my hand a little.

He pats his shirt, then his jeans, digging into his pockets, "I don't know," he answered, looking like a little kid, with his lip sticking out to the side.

I growled loudly, "Stay here. OK, do _not_ move, got it?" I pointed my finger at him, holding him in place by his shoulder.

He nodded, with his little boy face.

"OK," I said, before walking away. I stop when I'm about to turn the corner to look back at Nick, seeing him play with the buttons of his shirt, looking at me, "I mean it Nick...stay," I ordered, walking to the elevator, pressing the down button.

Once it opened, I stepped in, hitting the lobby button. I stepped out, walking towards the front desk.

I smiled at the lady behind the desk as she grinned back.

"Hi," I started.

"Hello," she cut me off.

I smiled, "Um, I'm sure you just saw me with Mr. Carter," I chuckled. "He seems to have lost the key to his room. If I can please have a copy," I smiled, tapping my fingers on the counter.

"Room number?" she asked, simply.

"1026," I informed her.

"Here you go," she handed me the key card.

"Thank you," I said silently, taking the card.

She just nodded. I walked away, heading back up. I reached the floor and got off, turning around the corner and walking down the hall, seeing Nick was gone. I froze in my steps, looking behind me and back in front of me.

"Shit," I growled, "NICK," I shouted, running down the hall, pulling out my phone, dialing AJ's number. I reach Nick's room, sliding the card, waiting for the light to turn green. I hold the phone between my ear and my shoulder, turning the knob, hearing the phone ring, and going to voice-mail.

"AJ god dammit," I growled, ending the call, stepping into the room. I kicked the door, slamming it shut.

"Shhhhh," I hear behind me.

I quickly turn around, seeing Nick sitting at the edge of the bed.

"What the fuck. You said you didn't have a key," I snapped.

"Oops," he giggled.

I smacked my forehead with my palm, shaking my head.

"Hey...psst," I looked up. "Come ere'," he waved his hand.

I stayed still, staring at him.

"Come on," he pushed.

I sighed, walking over to him. He pushed himself to the head of the bed, leaning back against the headboard. He grinned, giving me that stupid, cheesy grin, patting the empty space next to him. I slowly move over to him, keeping my eyes on him. I sit next to him.

"You look doubtful," he pointed out.

I snorted, "Your not in your right mind," I shot back.

"I'm not stupid," he said, matter-of-fact.

I stayed quiet.

"Why did you leave?" he asked, after the moment of silence...coming from my part.

"You know why I left," I answered softly.

"Star," He sighed.

"Weren't you drunk five minutes ago. Laughing your shit off, tripping over yourself?" I thumbed behind me.

"Doesn't make me incapacitated," he shook his head.

I growled.

"I was sick. You know that. I was having problems-" he started.

"Yet you didn't make the effort to change Nick," I cut him off. Silently choking, trying not too cry.

"I was trying," he responded silently, crying.

"Nick, why are you bringing this up," I sighed, slamming my hands at my sides, on the bed.

"I just want to know," he yelled.

"Geez, if I'd of known better, I'd say you weren't drunk before," I muttered.

"Dammit Star," he growled, banging his head on the headboard. "Ow," he held his head.

"Nick," I breathed, getting up and walking over to his bag, opening the side pocket, pulling out some Aspirin. I walked over the entertainment center, getting a paper cup, walking into the restroom, filling the cup with water, walking out, back over to Nick, "You still keep them in the same place," I told him, handing him the bottle of Aspirins and the cup of water.

He looked up at me, taking the bottle, and the cup.

"I should go," I whispered, turning around to walk away.

"Wait," he grabbed my hand.

I looked down at our hands, then at him. He stood up slowly, taking a sip of water, swallowing the already pill in his mouth, setting the cup aside, stepping extremely close to me.

I looked up at his face, avoiding his eyes.

"What do you want?" I whispered, exhaling lightly.

"Kiss me," he responded, whispering back.

I looked into his eyes, trying to read him.

Before I knew it, I stood on my tip toes, pressing my lips against his. His arms automatically wrapped around my waist, pulling me up. I wrap my arms around his neck, lifting my legs up, wrapping my legs around his waist. He turned, moving on the bed, deepening the kiss. His tongue teasingly licking my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I open my mouth allowing his tongue to slip in. I moaned into the kiss, running my fingers through his hair.

Back to fucking square one...shit.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- Here I go again.

[Nick]

Mm. Morning.

My eyes flutter open, catching the sunlight shining through window curtains. I rub my eyes, removing the crust that formed in the corners. I breathed in deeply.

 _That scent._

I turn to see the empty space next to me. Memories of the night before coming back in a blur. Star.

I sat up quickly, looking around. "Star," I called out.

I jumped off the bed, running through the room looking around. I heard something click. I turned to see Star tip toeing her way over to me, seeming that I was standing in front of the door. I stood my ground, staring at her. She jumped about a foot, when she saw me standing there.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, looking at her curiously.

"Um, I...you were supposed to be asleep," she whispered, dropping her head.

I looked at her in shock. She was really planning on leaving me. AGAIN.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" I yelled. "What happened last night," I began.

"That was a mistake. That shouldn't have happened. You were drunk and," I trailed off.

"And _nothing_. Nothing. That is bullshit," I continued to yell, throwing my hands up in the air, making her flinch.

"Nick, I...I'm sorry but it shou-"

"NO, don't say it. Don't say it shouldn't had happened. You still love me. There is still something there," I shouted, feeling my eyes begin to sting. I looked down, hearing her sigh.

"Nick," she began.

I shook my head, "Why are you so determined to hurt me," I sniffed.

She scoffed. I looked up, catching her roll her eyes.

"Oh I'm hurting _you_ ," she laughed. "Now that's hilarious,"

"What happened to you?" I whispered.

"You wanna know what happened to me? You really want to fucking know?" She growled loudly.

I stared at her.

"Try thinking of the last day when I left," she shoved me. "Huh! Do you remember that Nick? Or the many other fucking times? Huh! YOU WEREN'T HURTING _ME_ THEN? WERE YOU!?" she shoved me again, her eyes becoming glassy.

I moved closer to her, my arms opening a bit, expecting to hug her. She stepped back, running her hands, angrily, through her short, flame red hair.

 _Bang BANG BANG BANG BANG_

 _Nick, wake your ass up, we got to get to the studio. Jon says they got someone coming after us. Gotta take as much time as we can._

Kevin Shouted from the other side of the door. I looked back at the door, then back at Star.

 _Bang Bang_

 _NICK!_

I inhaled deeply. "Yea OK," I shouted back.

She looked at me, shaking her head slightly.

"Star please. I have too go, but please, stay. I swear to you, I've changed. I'm not the same person. I've started to change. So please stay, wait till I come back, so we can talk, please," I pleaded, my voice cracking.

She stared at me intently. She slowly began to look down. She exhaled deeply, throwing her head back.

"OK," she shrugged, looking back at me.

"OK?" my forehead creased.

"OK," she nodded.

A smile slowly formed my lips. Taking a quick step forward, I pulled her into my arms.

"Thank you thank you thank you. Thank you so much," I whispered in her ear.

She smiled weakly as I pulled away.

Clearing her throat, "I...I think you should get ready. You know how Kevin gets when you guys are running late," she said, silently.

I chuckled, nodding. "Yea. True that," I answered silently.

I took her chin in my finger and thumb, tilting her head back a little, leaning down, kissing her lips softly. I pulled her mouth open lightly with my thumb, slipping the tip of my tongue, massaging hers a little. She sighed, looking down, breaking our kiss.

I cleared my throat, licking my lips, looking down as well. "I'm gonna go get ready."

She nodded, walking back into the bedroom, and sitting on the bed. She looked around for a minute, as I gathered my clothes to take a shower. She laid back, wrapping her arms around my pillow, burying her face into it, and closing her eyes. I entered the bathroom, stripping my clothes off, turning on the water, and stepping in. I let the water fall on my body, sighing in relief.

I was getting a second chance. And I wasn't screwing up this time. I'd be lucky if she even takes me back...as a friend or anything at all. God, she looks beautiful. It was weird seeing her with all the changes, but she still looks good. Better even. I missed her lips. Her hands. Her legs...OK...calm down. Don't wanna get started.

I shook my head, running my hands over my body, getting the soap all around.

I hope we can start over.

[Estrella]

 _Oh god. What am I doing? Dear God WHAT am I doing? Last night...last night was...incredible. Noooo. This can't be happening. I can't let him take over me...I can't. Jesus, it felt so good. His lips on mine. His hands running all over me. His body on top of me. Him thrusting in...STOP. No. Bad. I can't do this. This is wrong...God give me strength._

 _I wanna lick lick lick lick you from your head to your toes_

 _And I wanna move to the bed down to the down to the floor._

My eyes snapped open, sitting up quickly, looking around. I followed the sound of Ludacris' voice. I heard it on the floor. Getting on all fours, I crawl around, continuing to follow the song. I saw Nicks pants lying there, next to the bed. I snatched his jeans, digging my hands in his pocket. I pulled out his phone just as the call ended. I looked at the screen.

 _One Missed call_

Just as I was about to press _View Now,_ the phone rang again. Flashing the name _Amber._ I stared at the screen. Should I...shouldn't I?

I groaned loudly, pressing _talk._

I cleared my throat, swallowing lightly, "Hello?" I answered.

"Who's this?" the female, by the name of Amber, asked, with a bit of attitude.

"You called this number," I sneered.

"Is this Nick's phone?" she asked.

"Who wants to know?" I asked curiously.

"His girlfriend," she shot.

"He's busy right now,"

"Oh, well can you tell him that I'm sorry and that he is right. I shouldn't believe in rumors over his word," she responded.

"What rumor?" I asked, now more intrigued.

"And also tell him, he needs a new secretary," she growled, and hung up.

I pulled the phone away, my mouth hanging open, looking back to the phone.

The phone began ringing again. This time the name _Kasey_ was flashing on the screen. I scowled, answering the phone.

"Hello?" I answered sternly.

"Um, Nick?" she asked timidly.

"Who's this?" I asked.

"Um sorry, must got the wrong number," she stammered.

"No this is Nick's phone. Who is this?" I answered quickly.

"Um, a..are you his girlfriend?"

"No,"

"Oh, um, he gave me his number. I'm Kasey. I met him at the club couple of weeks ago. I just got a break at school. So I wanted to know if he wanted to hang out," she informed me.

"Oh well he's busy right now, sorry," I hung up.

 _OK. Seriously, he's digging himself a hole._

His phone chimed. I looked down at it again, seeing a text message. This time the name read _Lindsay_. I opened the text.

 _Hey Nick, It's me Lindsey. I had a really grrrrreat time. The last time we saw each other ;) I was wondering if you would like to hook up again. Call me. XOXO_

 _...and that fucking hole is getting deeper and deeper, and he's not even here to create it._

I growled. The phone rang again. _Keisha_ was now on the screen. I just stared at the phone, not bothering to answer it. The phone chimed, indicating a voice mail. I sighed, dialing voice mail. I dialed his password.

 _Never fucking changed it._

I waited for the voice.

 _Hey baby. Listen, I understand you not wanting to be in a relationship. I'm sorry I pushed you about it. How about you come over and I can su-_

I ended the call. I stood up from the floor. Looking around, I picked up my side bag, and my car keys, storming out of the room, slamming the door. Reaching the lobby, I stomped out of the elevator, storming through the lobby, into the parking lot, and entered my car. I revved the engine, screeching out of the parking space.

I got home, slamming my car door. Almost sticking the key in the keyhole, the door swings open.

"WHERE THE _FUCK_ WERE YOU LAST NIGHT," Nalyne shouted, pulling me inside.

"I had to do a favor for a friend. I'm sorry. I should have called," I explained.

"Yes, you should have. I tried calling you, to then find out that your phone was not with you," I growled, handing me my phone.

"What?" I stared at it confused, pulling out the phone in my pocket.

"Oh you got a new phone and didn't tell? Well, that's great," she threw her arms in the air.

"No. This is my old phone, I thought it was my phone. I'm sorry," I explained, again.

She sighed.

"It's OK. Just next time call me from the bar, or your friends' phone," she hugged me.

"Don't worry it won't happen again," I muttered.

She pulled me away, smiling at me.

"I should go take a shower and get ready for work. You have night shift today too?" I asked, making my way to my room.

"Yea, so you and me driving together," she sang and giggled.

I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Jesus! This is like the fifth day this place has been full," Nalyne shouted over the music and voices, running through the bar, behind me, as I mixed a drink.

"Ay, it's good," I smiled, handing the man his martini.

"No, not good. We need more bartenders. Let's go Coyote Ugly style," she laughed, as the guys, sitting along the bar, cat called and whistled.

"We get good tips. That's all I care about," Aileen chuckled, giving me a high five.

"Baby, hey," Nick appeared, leaning slightly over the counter, smiling.

I looked at him. My smile fading.

"I thought you were going to wait up for me," he shrugged. "What happened?" he chuckled.

I walked past Nalyne, who was now staring at me like a hawk, getting a cocktail glass.

"Star?" his brows furrowed.

I mixed a bloody Mary, handing it to the girl next to him, as she handed me a tip. Nick grabbed my hand before I could pull it away. I tried yanking it away, but he held it tightly.

"Star, you said we would talk," he told me.

"I don't want to talk anymore," I answered sternly, yanking my arm harder, this time breaking free.

I heard him growl, as I continued to move around and work.

"Star god dammit," he shouted a little, causing people to look at him, while my co-workers looked at me, "What did I do now. We had a good night, I enjoyed it, and I _know_ you enjoyed it by the way you-"

I slammed the scotch glass down on the counter hard, the sound slightly echoing. "Nick," I began, "You know I'm not one for public humiliation, but you are so fucking close that I will do that to you," I scowled.

He stared at me in shock and looked down at my other hand, holding the sink hose.

"What did I do? Why are you hot and cold all of a sudden?" he pushed.

I walked away, grabbing a tray to make a round around the dance floor and back chairs. I talked to a few regulars and a few new customers, seeing Nick push through the sweaty people. I moved again, trying to get as far away as possible. Looking back, I saw him struggle more and more, falling behind. I stepped outside, breathing quickly. Still holding the tray, I bent forward, my hands on my knees.

"Baby girl, you alright?" Hansel asked, worryingly, taking a step closer.

I nodded, hearing the door slam against the brick wall building. I looked back, seeing Nick inhaling deeply. I stood straight up, having him reach out to me grabbing my arm.

"You're not going anywhere until we talk," he said, sternly.

"You're not the boss of me. We are not talking about _shit_ ," I snapped, once again, trying to yank my arm away.

"Baby, I've told you already, I've changed," he pushed.

"You've changed?" I asked. He nodded. "You've changed, OK," I nodded, with attitude. "Then talk to me about Amber, Kasey, and Lindsey... _Keisha_? Hmm? Who are they?" I gritted.

"I can explain," he started.

"Save it. I'm tired of your stupid explanations," I broke free.

"You're not even giving me chance. What did you expect, that I was going to stay woman free and wait for you to come back? You did this," he pointed at me.

I scoffed. "It's not only that," I walked away.

"Why don't you just get over it Star. It's in the past," I groaned loudly.

I turned on my heel, walking up to him, swinging a right hook.

"It's not something you just forget Nick," I yelled, looking down at him, doubled over, and holding his jaw. "It's _easy_ for you. You weren't the one that was in pain all the time. The one that had their heart broken, _all the time_ ," I cried out.

"It hurt me too," he yelled back. "and after you left. I felt abandoned by the only person I thought I could count on," he argued.

"No. Do not do that. Don't play the guilt card on me," I gritted. "Jesus fucking Christ Nick. That's so fucking _typical_ ," I threw my arms in the air. "Always thinking of yourself. So fucking selfish. That is what you are. Just fucking selfish. You don't care about ANYONE," I shouted, feeling my blood boil and heat rise within me.

"SHUT UP," he shouted, before feeling a hard, cold, warm feeling on my cheek.

I looked up at Nick, his eyes wide. His face red.

"Star, I...I'm sorry. I didn't...I," he stuttered.

I glared at him, holding my burning cheek, "Fuck you," I snarled, walking back inside, before telling Hansel it was alright and I was alright.

"Hey," someone grabbed my hand.

I turned, seeing AJ standing there. He reached out, running a hand against my now red cheek.

"What happened?" he asked, concerned.

I slapped his hand away.

"It's your fault. If I wouldn't have listened to you last night I all of this wouldn't have happened," I shoved him away.

"Ella, I," he started

"Shut up. Just shut up. I don't want to hear you. Any of you. I don't want anything to do with you, nor him. Do you hear me?" I shoved him again, not waiting for his response, turning around, and walking away.

I threw the tray onto the bar counter, removing the half folded apron, and throwing it over the counter. I saw Nalyne, Aileen, and Alan looking at me as I stormed out of the club, and began to walk home.

[AJ]

My heart hurt. I never felt it hurt so much, except for when my grandmother passed. Did I just lose my best friend? Did she really just tell me to stay away from forever? That she wanted nothing to do with me?

I saw Nick walk in to the club. Making my way over to him, I grab him by the shirt, shoving him against the wall.

"What the fuck did you do?" I growled, getting up in his face.

"Get the fuck off me Jay," he snarled, pushing my hands off of him.

"What did you do to her Nick?" I scowled.

"None of your fucking business," he began to walk away.

I pushed him back, slamming him against the wall.

"Stop it," he yelled.

"It is my fucking business cuz she's my best friends too Nickolas," I pointed.

"Man whatever," he began to walk away again.

"You know, I understand why she wants nothing to do with you. Your a fucking bitch. A fucking selfish, pussified, bitch," I growled.

He scowled at me, stepping forward to launch at me.

"Because of you, she's never going to want to see us _ever_ again," I yelled, my eyes beginning to sting.

"Stop being so exaggerating," he rolled his eyes, hiding his fear.

"She just came up to me Nick. She wants nothing to do with us. And its all because of you," I cried, punching him. "That's for what you did," I sobbed, falling next to Nick on the floor.

I hid my face in my hands, feeling my heart sink in my chest. I heard sniffling next to me. I turned to see Nick, rubbing his eyes with his fingers.

It took me so long to find her. Even though at some point, we gave up in finding her. I finally found her, just too lose her again. Why couldn't she be mine? If she would have been with me, none of this would have been happening. She should have been mine.

[Nick]

I am the biggest asshole ever. I didn't mean to do it. I don't like me. Star doesn't like me. How can all my fans like me? Now AJ doesn't even like me. I don't know what to do. What if what AJ said is real? No! That can't happen. We're in the same town. We're bound to bump into each other. Why do I have to screw everything up?

I look down at my phone screen, seeing the few missed calls from several girl. I wiped the tears from my cheeks. I fell back onto my bed, pressing delete, deleting all missed calls. Going to my contacts, I began deleting the random girls numbers.

I laid the phone on my chest, tucking my hands behind my head, staring at the ceiling.

 _God, please, don't let her block me out. Give me the strength to get through to her, please_.

[Estrella]

This almost feels like Deja Vu.

I looked around my room. Taking in a deep breathe.

 _Almost_ feels like it. He hasn't changed.

I whined, stomping over to my bed, letting myself fall on it. I crawled up the rest of the bed, slipping under the covers, and hugging my pillow.

 _I don't want to do this anymore. I left for a reason. I made a promise to myself and I'm going to keep that promise. How does he expect me to just get over it? I don't think the last day I was with him is a_ get over it _subject. I don't think it will ever be. That just showed me...he really didn't love me._

 _Bing_

I looked down at me phone seeing _Alex_ flashing on the screen. I opened the message, reading it over.

 _Ella, please. I honestly didn't know he was going to do that. I'm surprised. I was being honest when I said he changed. I guess I was wrong. Please Ella, your my best friend. I don't want to lose you like Nick did. Please?_

I shut my eyes, burying my face into my pillow, letting the tears roll out of my eyes. I gasped for air lightly, sobbing into the white, feather pillow. I placed my arm on my stomach, feeling slight pain. I read towards my bedside drawer. Opening the drawer, I grabbed a bottle of pills, opening the lid, staring inside.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six- Rip out the Wings of a Butterfly.

[Nalyne]

 _C_ _RASH,_

I walking into the house and closing the door, I hear a loud shatter of glass.

"E?!" I shouted.

There was no response. I walked over to her door, knocking on it lightly and waiting for an answer. Yet, there was none.

"E?" I asked for her again, but nothing. I reached for the door knob, jiggling the knob, noticing it was locked. I looked at the door in front of me and back down at the knob. I lifted my hand, slamming it down on the wooded object, repeatedly.

"E! Open the door," I shouted. I heard muffled voices on the other side.

"E! God dammit, open the fucking," I yelled hysterically, banging on the door harder.

Pressing my ear against the door, I heard heavy breathing.

"E!" I shouted.

Suddenly the door opened. I pushed it, stepping in, seeing my best friend on the floor, pale as chalk.

[Estrella]

"E! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Nalyne shouted, busting into my room.

I stood up off the floor and rushed through my room. Grabbing everything in my closet in one arm hug full, throwing it on my bed. I knelt down on the floor, grabbing my boxes from under the bed.

"E!' She shouted.

I turned to look at her. "I gotta get out of here. I have to leave," I breathed.

"What are talking about? What's going on?" she waved her arms, staring at me, as I moved around.

"I have to leave. I can't see him. He knows where I am now," I freaked.

"What? Who? E, what are you talking about?" she asked, desperately.

I tapped my fingers along my bottom lip, looking around to see if there was anything else I needed. Nalyne turned, seeing the bottle of Goose and my pipe, Luna.

"OK you're not all there. Are you on a bad trip? How do you feel?" she walked closer to me.

"I didn't smoke that much and I only drank a few shots," I breathed, sitting on my bed to fold my clothes into the suitcase.

"Well you could have fooled me. You're freaking out," she pointed.

I sighed. "Nay, you remember that story I told you? When you asked me why I came," I waited for her too answer and she just nodded.

"The guy that did that to me, the one that I mentioned in the story, He's Nick," I stared at her.

"OK, Nick. OK," she said, not really getting it.

"No, you don't understand. It's Nick...Nick Carter," I explained further.

She continued to stare, her eyes slowly widening in shock. "You're the make-up artist that he dated," she pointed at me. "That's why they were so interested in you," she whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, a hint of anger in her voice.

"I didn't tell you because, I...I didn't want someone to have a bad image of him," I answered silently.

"Bad image, for Nick? E! E, he did all that to you. He deserves a bad image. Maybe what Paris said he did to her was true," she placed her hands on her hips.

"No. It's not true," I argued.

" _How_ can you say that? After everything he did to you," her brows furrowed, as she argued.

"He was sick," I cried, "He was on drugs. That's why he acted that way. The real Nick would _never_ hurt me," I defended.

 _Wouldn't he?_ The small voice asked. _He did tonight._

"If that is so, then why did you leave? Why didn't you stay with him and help him?" She crossed her arms.

I stood there, not really knowing what to say. I looked at her, in search for an answer.

 _Why did I leave? I know why I left._

 _"_ _You really think you're important to me?" Nick yelled._

 _I sat at his feet, my face in my hands, crying all the pain I felt._

 _"_ _You think I love you?" he growled._

"E? Why?" Nalyne asked again.

Tears began to roll out of my eyes as I fell to the floor.

"You don't understand," I responded.

"What don't I understand E?" she walked over to me, kneeling on the floor beside me, running her hand up and down my back, "Is this about what happened when we met? Did you know about it? Is that why you left?" she asked, concern dripping from her voice.

I shook my head frantically, swallowing hard. "No. I didn't. I wanted to help him. I tried, but how can you help someone when they can't and won't even help themselves?" I sobbed.

Nalyne brushed her hand through my hair, pulling me into her arms, and holding me close. My sobs were being muffled, as I pressed my face against her shirt.

"Are you going to tell him?" she whispered, almost unable to hear her.

I pulled away. "What?"

"Nick, are you going to tell him?" she asked again.

I shook my head, standing quickly.

"No. No I won't...and you won't either," I pointed.

She stared up at me.

"I mean it Nay," I yelled.

"You're sick E. You _have_ to tell him," she pushed.

"It's not like I-," I was cut off by the sound of the doorbell.

We both stared at my bedroom door before turning to look at each other, then the clock on my night stand.

It was three A.M.

Nalyne stood up, walking out of my room, me following suit. We walked down the hall, to the front door, and peeked out through the side windows.

 _AJ?_

Nalyne and I looked at each other. I walked over behind the wall, heading to the second hallway, standing near the corner. I peeked my head out a little, seeing Nalyne turn and open the door.

"Um, Hi. I know it's late," AJ started, moving his hands around, something he does when he's nervous.

"Yea it is," Nalyne cut him off, leaning against the open door. "What are you doing here?"

"I followed you here. I figured maybe you could tell me where Ella is. You're her friend right?" he paused. Nalyne didn't respond, just stood there, with her arms crossed over her chest. "Can you point me to the direction to her house...anything?" he asked desperately.

Nalyne kept the same pose, before nudging herself upright. Sighing, she faced the floor, shaking her head, answering, "She lives here,"

I threw my hands in the air.

 _What the fuuuuck._

"She does?" he asked, excitedly.

Nalyne nodded.

"Can I talk to her, please?" he took a step forward, but Nalyne kept her ground.

"She sleeping," she lied, "and if this is about Nick, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to talk," she added.

"You know about Nick?" he asked, confused.

"Yea. She just told me, but I figured it out a while back,"

My brows furrowed.

 _Did she just say that? What the hell does that mean?_

"How?" AJ asked intrigued.

"I found a box in her closet," she answered quickly, "look, it's best you go, cuz she isn't going to talk to-,"

"You went through my stuff?" I marched up behind her. Nalyne turned to look at me wide eyed and AJ's eyes lit up.

"Ella," he began.

"I can't believe you went through my private stuff," I yelled. "When did you look through it?" I asked, sternly.

She sighed. "E, I didn't look through it," she explained, turning fully towards me.

"Then what? Because I know pretty damn sure that box was sealed and at the top of my closet," I explained, getting more furious out of nowhere.

"I was looking for an outfit. It was after I moved in, obviously. It was like, I don't know last year, two years ago? That's why I kind of threw the news about Paris at you, seeing if you would at least tell me something. I was just looking for something to wear, because of that one date I had, and I know sometimes you keep your clothes folded up there, so I was trying to pull something out, and the box fell, and it busted open," she continued. "Things fell out, when I was trying to put them back in, I noticed the photos and small notes," she looked down. "I just didn't understand why you didn't tell me," she looked back up to me.

 _That's why she mentioned that little note about Nick's girlfriend, 'the make-up artist'. We pretty much kept our relationship on the down low._

"Didn't you trust me?" She asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Don't play that," I answered, "You don't understand,"

"What is there to understand E! Dammit what is it?" She yelled.

"Look at the way you reacted in my room when I actually told you," I threw my arm behind me, pointing at the direction of my room. "That is why I didn't tell you. Plus you were, ARE a fan. That would have just made it worse," I argued.

"And what about now? Why did you tell me now?"

I stared at her, not knowing exactly what to say. I shook my head, moving and my gaze to AJ.

"What are you doing here? I told you I didn't want to see you anymore," I growled, arching my brow, as they furrowed.

"I...I just I needed to talk to you," I answered softly, pain filling his eyes.

"I don't want to talk to AJ," I tightened my arms at my sides.

"Ella...please," he pleaded.

"NO!" I screamed. I looked between them. "You," I pointed at Nalyne, "I don't even want to see you right now,"

"Don't forget I know something everyone doesn't," she responded in matter-of-factly.

"Is that a threat?" I growled, stepping forward.

AJ looked between us.

Nalyne sighed. "E, don't do this," her face soften.

"Ella what is she talking about?" AJ stepped in.

"What are you still doing here? Do you not understand...I _DON'T_ WANT TO TALK TO YOU? I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU. _GET OUT,_ " I yelled, shoving him out, slamming the door at his face.

"E, what's wrong with you?" she asked softly.

"EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE," I gripped at my hair, stomping to the closest room, which was the restroom I noticed, as I slammed the door shut.

I tried catching my breathe, sliding down the door, bringing my knees up to my chest.

 _What's wrong with me? I'm not mad at them. My anger is_ not _towards them, it's towards Nick. Why am I even getting so mad for? OH God, and the way I just acted with Alex. Oh my God. That was so...fuck. I'm a horrible friend._

I covered my face with my hands, sobbing. Running my hands through my hair, I pulled with anger. Letting go, I stand up, opening the door, and stepping out to look for Nalyne.

"Nay," I called out.

Walking closer to her room, I heard snapping. I walked toward the glass door, seeing a light flicker. Stepping out, I Nalyne standing beside a tin barrel, lit full. The fire danced in the wind, growing bigger as she threw something in there. I stepped closer, catching sight of a torn box, at her feet.

My steps slowed in pace, as I watched her wide eyed. She bent down, retrieving a dark blue, jean jacket. As she stood back up, preparing to throw it in, I ran to her, snatching the piece of clothing away.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I yelled at her. I pressed the jacket against me, holding it tightly.

"E, you need to get rid of all of this. You'll never let go if you hold on to...to," she bent down picking up a few more things in her hands, holding it up, "to this," she readied her hand, about to throw the pieces of paper in them. I dropped the jacket, pushing her away from the barrel.

"You have no right to decide this," I growled.

"You have to move on," I argued.

"I don't have to move on from anything, Nay," I got down on my knees, trying to put everything back in the box, as Nalyne stepped forward, squatting down picking up Nicks TB Bucs jersey. I got to grab at the end of it, trying to pull it away from her.

"Let go E," she fought.

"No," I growled, pulling at the jersey harder.

"You have to erase him. Look at what he's doing to you," she tugged.

"It's not your stuff. You have no say," I yelled.

We fought tug of war, until suddenly, there was a loud ripping sound, and we both stumbled back. I stared at the torn piece of the jersey in my hands, looking up at Nalyne. She looked at me intently, moving to the side, dumping the piece in the fire, snatching the other piece from my hands, and throwing it along as well. She reached down, once again, to retrieve more things, as soon as I shoved her away, she looked at me. I picked up the box, looking in it to see what was saved...which by the looks of it, it wasn't much. I walked back into the house, grabbing the jacket from the grass, heading inside with tears streaking down my cheeks.

Entering my room, I walk to the head of my bed, kneeling in front of my treasure chest, I unlock it, putting all the contents from the broken box into the chest. Grabbing the jean jacket, I press it against my lips, inhaling lightly, still smelling Nick's scent on it. I laid it inside the chest and closed it, snapping the lock closed. I stared at the closed chest, hearing a soft knock at my door.

"Go away," I yelled.

"E, you have to understand my point," she answered from the other side.

" _No_ you have to understand, it was not your fucking place," I gritted, standing up, turning towards the door.

I stomped over, swinging the door open, seeing her for a second, before pushing my way past her. I grabbed my car keys from the small table at the side of the door, opening the front door.

"Where are you going?" she asked, concerned.

"None of your business. Just out. I can't be around you," I answered, stepping out, and into my car.

I walked down the side of the small lake that laid near the park. I inhaled deeply, taking in the night sky reflecting against the water.

 _How did this happen? Everything was going fine. Great even. Out of all the places, this one was the one he had to end up in._

I sighed, shaking my head, running my hands over my face.

 _I have to call Alex and apologize._

I pulled out my phone, ready to dial Alex's number.

"Well, well, well, we have the tendency of running into each other," I heard a slurred speech in front of me.

I snapped my gaze up, seeing Nick stumbling at the opposite side from me.

"What are you doing here...at night...alone...by yourself?" he smirked, eying me over.

I looked at him confused and a little scared.

"I could ask you the same question," I answered quietly.

He chuckled, his face showing a very sinister look, before softening.

"Why don't you want me?" he stepped closer.

I stumbled back. "Why do you think?" I asked.

"What about what happened earlier? You're going to ignore that?" he raged.

"What about the fact that you 'changed'? How about learning to keep it in your pants? _You_ going to ignore _that_ information I so happened to obtain?" I shot back.

"Jesus you're not going to let that go are ya?" he stomped. He reached out, wrapping his fingers around my arms.

"I'm talking about earlier. When there were millions of girls calling for another tumble in the sack from you. Or the fact that some of them labeled themselves as you girlfriend," I gritted.

"What does it matter? I wasn't with you. It _shouldn't_ matter," he defended.

"And you're still not with me. And it _should_ matter. That was a problem when we _were_ together," I spat.

His grip tightened.

"Would you have gotten back with me if those calls didn't exist?" he asked sternly.

"Let go of me, your hurting me," I tried wiggling my arms out from his grasp.

"Answer my question," he demanded, lowly.

I stopped my movements, looking into his eyes, seeing only seriousness and hurt and anger.

I clenched my jaw.

"No," I sneered.

"Even after the night before? Would you have even let us have the talk I wanted us to have?" he added.

"No," I replied, through my teeth.

"No?" he tilted his head.

My heart began racing, my chest tightening, my breathing quick and short. He stepped forward, guiding me back. He moved his hand up to my hair, grasping my short hair into his fist, pulling my head back. I groaned lightly.

"You never use to say no to me," he breathed, his face inching closer to me.

"Well I'm saying it now," I grunted, placing my hands on his chest, attempting to push him away. He covered one of my hands with his free one, pressing it tightly against him.

"Do you feel that?" he stumbled a bit, as I tried pushing him. He moved my hand up his chest. "Do you feel my heart? The way it beats for you?" he breathed deeply, this time his warm breathe hitting my face, giving my a big whiff of his alcohol stained breathe.

"You have no heart," I gritted, moving my face away a little, as he brushed his lips against the nape of my neck.

He growled, pulling my hair forcefully. I yelped in pain, feeling some of my hair come out from my scalp.

"What happened to you?" he asked softly, his face softening.

"You've already asked me that. You know the answer. Now, let me _go_ ," I tried pulling my head away from his grasping hand.

He crashed his lips onto mine, kissing me harshly. The pressure from his lips, hard, making blood leak from the inside of my mouth. I whimpered from pain. He grabbed my wrists tightly, wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands moved down, past my hips, onto my thighs lifting me up, and slamming me down against the hood of my car.

"Nick what are you doing?" I asked, fear seeping through my voice.

His lips latched onto my neck, dropping sloppy kisses all over.

"Nick please," I began, feeling my eyes begin to sting.

I slid my arms away from his neck, wrapping my fingers around his shoulders, pushing him back. His shoulders flexed back, but his lips were still stuck on me. My hands slipped off his shoulders, causing him to slam his body into mine. He grunted as he bumped into me, rubbing his lower half against mine.

"Nick, don't do this," I pleaded, the ocean from my eyes, falling down the contours of my face.

His tongue slithered up the side of my neck. He hummed lightly.

"You taste so good," his grabbed my hands pinning them above me. "Just like I remembered," he chuckled, looking down at me.

I stared at him, crying silently. His eyes, a dark blue, matching the night sky. His free hand brushed against my cheek, stoking it lovingly with his thumb. He leans down, brushing his lips against mine, as I pressed my lips together, trying to avoid the touch.

"Your so beautiful...my precious Star," he whispered against my lips.

"Nick...you don't want to do this. Please," my lips quivered against his.

He kisses my softly.

"Sh sh, everything is going to be OK baby," he soothed. "I'm going to take care of you," he kissed me again, pressing his lips roughly against mine. My two blushing pilgrims, dieing a bleeding death. His hands moved down to my face, down my shoulder, passed my sides, landing at my hip. He thrust lightly against me lightly, moving his lips along my jawline. His hand slowly moves down to the hem of my jean skirt, slipping under. I begin to jerk my hands away from his lock, setting them free, quickly shoving him away. He stares at me startled, quickly back handing me, repositioning himself in his prior position. I held my hand against my burning cheek, sobbing loudly. Ripping my underwear off, he pins my arms down at my sides. I screamed, begging and hoping someone would here me.

"Let me love you," he breathed against my neck. "You love me Star," he kissed me roughly.

"Help me. Please somebody...please," I cried, as soon as his lips left mine.

"Shhh its going to be OK baby," he soothed.

"Nick," I started, once again. He stopped, staring at me. "Please, if you love me, don't do this," I shook my head slowly, tears pooling out of my eyes, as I sobbed.

He smiled a small smile, leaning down giving my a small kiss, as I whimpered.

"I do love you," he answered, placing small kisses on my cheek, "and I'm going to show you just how much,"

Nick laid on top of me, panting. I laid under him, staring lifelessly to the side. Through the middle of my nightmare, I gave up. My tear stained face, showing no emotion. My dried lips, tearing slowly.

Nick pushed himself off lightly, laying on his elbows. He stared at me, a small smile forming his lips. He lifted his hand brushing my bangs out of my face. I flinched and his smile fell.

"Star?" he asked, concerned.

I didn't answer.

"Star, baby?"

I didn't respond.

"Star please look at me." he adjusted himself.

I turned slowly, facing him. "Nick," my voice cracked, "please...go back to the hotel and sleep this off," I tried not to cry again.

He stared at me, his eyes slowly widening, "Star I-"

"Just go...please," my lips quivered.

He nodded, standing up straight, and moving out of me. I flinched hearing the slick, wet, squishy sound coming from the loss of contact. I turned back to the side, hearing his footstep fade in the distance.

Once his footsteps were no longer heard, I broke down, lifting my hands up to my face, sobbing. I slowly slipped myself off the hood of my car, feeling the fluids slide down my legs. I grabbed the neck line of my shirt, pulling it back together, covering my chest. Reaching into my jean skirt pocket, I pulled out my car keys, pressing unlock, opening the door, and slipping in, pressing lock again. I grabbed onto the wheel, taking in a deep, shaky breathe. I coughed out another cry, seeing my phone lying in the cup holder, blinking. I grabbed it, seeing I had text messages and missed calls. Dialing a number into my phone, I press it against my ear, silently crying.

[phone conversation]

 _"_ _911 what is your emergency?"_

 ** _cries_**

 _"_ _Hello...what is your emergency?"_

 ** _coughs_** _"_ _I...I..."_ _ **sobs**_ _"I've been raped."_

 _"_ _Where are you right now ma'am?"_

 ** _continues to cry_**

 _"_ _Ma'am? Is there anyone around that can help you?"_

 ** _Weeping continues_**

 _"_ _Hello? Ma'am?"_

 ** _dial tone_**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7- By the Sea

 _D_ _ing!_

 _Flight 302 to Tampa, Florida is now boarding._

"Are you sure about this?" Nalyne asked.

My eyes scanned the people around me, seeing parents crying, wives or girlfriends hugging their loved ones tightly. I looked back at Nalyne and nodded, before looking down.

"Yea," I replied softly, looking back up at her, "Nay, you don't have to tag along,"

She twisted her lips to the side, before clicking her tongue, "Your right, I don't have to go. Especially with the way you acted last week," she paused.

"I am so sorry for that. I shouldn't have acted that way," I began to apologize for the 100th time that week.

She held her hand up, stopping me, "But then who am I going to go out partying with? Whose going to make work fun? Who am I going to bug and cause them to mess up their drinks? Who am I going to smoke out with? Eat munchies when we're stoned off our asses? Whose going to buy those weird rainbow chips ahoy! Cookies I love stealing from you?" she smiled.

"So your the cookie monster. Here I thought it was Artemis," I tilted my head over to the pet carrier.

She cocked a brow, "Really...the cat...that's what you came up with...you've been smoking to much."

We busted out laughing.

"Hey, don't underestimate. She's smart," I chuckled.

The laughing died down and Nalyne just stared at me.

"Your my best friend E. Granted, I did deserve last week, and I can't pronounce your name, " we chuckled, "but you've helped me, and even though I don't know what happened Sunday, which I know you say nothing, but I know it's something, and I hope I can help you with it," she rubbed my arm.

My bottom lip quivered, looking down, I felt my tears ready to spill. I look back up, pulling her into my arms, hugging her tightly.

"You have no idea how lucky I feel to have a friend like you," I whispered, sniffling lightly.

"Miss?" we heard.

We both turned, seeing the boarding lady.

"Are you boarding the plane?" she asked, brows raised.

I gave her a small smile, nodding, and looking back at Nalyne.

"OK...let's go," Nalyne grinned, shrugging.

We picked up our carry on and walked onto the plane, after giving our ticket.

I sighed.

"Feels good to be back," I whispered to myself.

"Its very beautiful...did you miss it here?" Nalyne asked, as she stepped up next to me, getting off the cab, at a very familiar neighborhood.

"Yea. I didn't grow up here, but it became my home when I moved here," I explained.

"So..." she started.

I looked around, trying to remember everything.

"Where do we go? Are we staying at a hotel...or something?" she asked.

"Um, yea. Just have to make a stop first," she stared at me, wondering, "Someone who can help us get an affordable place. He knows this place well. An old friend," I explained. I stepped forward, walking down the street. Nalyne ran after me.

Reaching a two story house, I turn, and walk towards the front door.

"Who lives here?" she looked at me, panting.

I knocked, not answering her question. Seconds passed and I knocked again.

"E?"

The door opened.

"Can I help you?" the tall blonde, bare chested guy asked.

Nalyne eyed him quickly, before snapping her gaze back at me, leaning lightly, whispering in my ear "Your getting help from a Carter?" she sneered.

I moved my eyes off him, then at Nalyne, looking down, clearing my throat.

"You guys fans? Um, listen right now is not a good time. I'm having a few problems and-" he began.

"Aaron," I cut him off.

I looked up, seeing him stare at me. I took a hard swallow.

"Hey," I chuckled nervously.

"Do I know you?" he shook his head, as if trying to clear his mind.

"Um, I...its me...Estrella," I whispered.

"Estrella?" his head tilted.

"Star," I rolled my eyes lightly.

His eyes widened, "Holy shit Star," he pulled me into a tight hug. "Oh my god, I thought you were dead," he breathed in my ear.

I laughed lightly, "Well, I'm alive and kickin'. Sorry to disappoint," I shrugged as he pulled away slowly.

Lifting his hand from my shoulder, he lightly smacked me at the side of my head. I pouted, rubbing the area, messing up my short hair, which was covered by my hoodie, which I had cut once again, this time bleaching it to white.

"Shut up," he chuckled, pushing the hoodie off, over my head. "Your hair!" he exclaimed, running his fingers through my short, white, thin hair.

"My hair," I mimicked, waving my hands at my sides.

"It's gone...and white...when did you get so old" he pulled a small strand.

I gasped, smiling, punching him playfully at his chest. He laughed, blocking my playful attacks.

"I loved your long, brown hair," he ran his fingers through my snowy hair, "but this looks pretty cool," he grinned.

"Yea, thanks," I chuckled, shaking my head, allowing my bangs to fall in front of my forehead.

"Ahem," I hear Nalyne clear her throat.

Aaron looks to my side, over my shoulder, seeing Nalyne. His sweet smile suddenly turns into the _very_ familiar Carter smirk. I roll my eyes, popping my hip to the side, placing my hand on my waist.

"Aaron, this is my good friend Nay. Nay...well...you know," I waved my free hand between them.

"Hi," Nalyne twirled her hair, quickly sticking her hand out, offering it to Aaron, "Nice to meet you," she smiled.

Aaron reached and took her hand in his, shaking it lightly, "Same," he answered, the smirk never leaving his face.

We stood looking at each other for quite some time, well...Nalyne and Aaron did, I just kept looking around, thinking of something to say.

"Uh," I let out, not really meaning too. They turned to see me.

 _When did Nay get in front of me?_

"So what are you doing here? Not that I didn't like the surprise, or anything?" he moved his hands around.

"Um, I...I'm moving back," I sighed. "Just, you know, wanted to see if you know any houses around? I mean, from what I heard, you...get around," I arched my brow.

A goofy grin was plastered on his face, giving a funny chuckle.

I mimicked him, making a stupid face.

"I think that's great. Nick would be thrilled," he replied, excitedly.

My smile fell from my face. "I would like it if Nick didn't know about it," he stared at me in confusion. "Just...you know...I just," my words kept stumbling over.

"Aaron what's taking you so lo-" someone yelled, trailing off.

A long, dark hair, tall, slim girl stepped up behind Aaron, and staring at me intently.

"Who are you?" she asked, with a bit of tone.

"Angel, its Ester...you remember her right?" Aaron pointed at me.

She looked at Aaron then back at me. I gave her a small wave with a small smile. She looked back at Aaron and shrugged.

"You know...Star," he nodded.

"Nick's Star?" her nose scrunched.

I flinched.

"You bitch," she stepped forward.

My eyes widened, taking a step back, Nalyne immediately stepped in front of me, protectively.

"Do you know what you did to my brother. You stupid whore. I knew you were just using him," she ranted.

"Hey!" Nalyne snapped, "You don't know the whole fucking story, so why don't you back the fuck off," she stomped her foot forward, causing Angel to flinch back.

"Who the fuck are you?" Angel growled.

"None of your business," Nalyne gritted.

"What, you turned into a dyke while you were gone? My brother wasn't satisfying you enough or something?" she turned to me.

I stared at her in disbelief. I knew she never really liked me, obviously, but she had never acted this bad towards me.

I felt my eyes begin to well up, getting worse as they stung from the freshly spilled tears.

"Angel go back inside," Aaron swung his arm inside the house, pointing for her to leave.

"Hell no! I'm not going to let this b-," she growled.

"Angel!" Aaron snapped, "Go...Inside...Now," he demanded.

She glared at me, as I dried my tears with the sleeves of my jacket.

 _I really need to stop crying._

She humphed, stomping angrily away, before looking back at Aaron giving him a quick knowing glance.

"I always knew she didn't like me, but damn," I sniffled, wiping my nose with my sleeve.

He chuckled, "Yea, sorry. You know how she is," he paused, "Nick was pretty heart broken after you had left. Completely dropping off the grid. He had even hired people to look for you. We all thought the worst, he started drinking a lot, and partying more...which of coarse in return made Angel hate you more," he lips scrunched.

I shook my head.

"It wasn't her fault," Nalyne threw her hands in the air.

"I sort of was," I chuckled weakly, looking down, "If you really think about it," I played with my fingers.

She turned to look at me, "Don't defend him,"

"She's right," Aaron piped up.

I looked up to see him, the same time Nalyne turned to stare at him.

"You shouldn't defend him," he added.

I tilted my head slightly to the side, looking at him in confusion.

He took in a deep breathe. "Nick might have mentioned a few times, when he ended up here, drugged and drunk out of his mind, what an asshole he was," he explained. "Some how I knew there was more, but...that's all he would say," he shrugged.

I looked away, "Great," I muttered.

"I'm the only one who knows," I added.

I nodded.

We stayed silent for a while.

"So you need help finding a place?" he finally asked.

"Yes," I answered lightly.

"Where are you staying for now?" he stepped closer.

"Ironically..." I breathed in, "The Hilton," I chewed on my lip.

Aaron stared at me for a few, before bursting out laughing. He doubled over, holding his stomach, laughing hard. "Oh, the irony," he wiped his tears away.

I shook my head.

"I'll see what I can do," he answered. "Can't have you destroying the hotel," he cracked up.

I let out a small chuckle, "Thank you so much Aaron," I hugged him tightly.

"Hey no problem, your the only one my brother has dated that I like," he smiled.

"I better be," I joked.

"Scouts honor. So just give me your number so I'll know where to call you," he pulled out his phone.

Hesitantly, I gave him my number. Giving him one last hug, I turned to leave, Nalyne following suit.

Sigh, "This place is awesome," I gawked, putting down a box on the empty, dark wooded floor.

"The view is beautiful," Nalyne breathed, standing out back on the patio, over looking the ocean.

"Aaron you...I love you," I laughed.

He smiled, giving a small chuckle, walking in with box filled arms. "Love ya too. Anything for a friend," he placed the boxes down, leaning over, and giving me a small kiss on the cheek. "Are you good with a job? I'm currently looking for someone to join my crew," he grinned.

"Maybe. Nay and I found an empty building space when we shopping the other day," I turned to him.

"What are you buying it for?" he asked, intrigued.

"We're planning to make our own small radio station," I smiled. "Maybe even have a club, and the station can be in a back room of something," I wiggled my brows.

Aaron nodded, chuckling lightly. I let out a small squeal, jumping.

"So excited" I grinned.

[Nick]

The music screamed in the air. I had lost count on how many times I had come here every night, sometimes even at opening hour. Yet...nothing. I still hadn't seen her. I asked around, her co-workers and people I had seen come regularly. They all told me the same thing, They hadn't seen her _or_ her friend. I feared the worst. Especially when I had made a quick stop at the local drug store to buy AJ a pack of smokes and a bottle of jack and cigarette wraps for myself, two cops were in front of me, waiting to pay and having a conversation about some phone call.

 _"_ _Yea man, they just called crying then hung up," officer one shook his head._

 _"_ _Really? They didn't say anything else?" officer two asked, intrigued._

 _"_ _Well, according to Macie, this girl called crying...like literally bawling she couldn't understand a word. Poor girl, she was scared," Officer one acted out with his hands._

 _I stared between them, interested in their conversation, just to pass the time it was taking me to get to the damn cashier._

 _"_ _Who the caller or Macie?" Officer two smiled._

 _"_ _Macie. She's new and all, she must have gotten a scare of her life," Officer one chuckled._

 _"_ _You so like her man," Officer two laughed, patting Officer one on his shoulder._

 _I rolled my eyes. So easily changed of subject._

 _"_ _Shut up. Anyways so this girl calls crying, and Macie, of coarse, is trying to get this girl to talk. She's asking her, you know, what her emergency is, and all she hears is 'I've been raped.' So Macie tries to get more information out, asking her where she is and if anyone there can help her," Officer one shakes his head, scrunching up his face, "nothing. The girl hangs up,"_

 _I stared at him wide eyed._

 _"_ _Didn't even leave a name or something?" Officer two's brows furrowed._

 _"_ _Nope nothing," Officer one replied, taking a bite out of his hot dog._

 _I sighed, shutting my eyes closed._

 _"_ _The call was made from the park, from a cell phone under the name...uh...Estrella Vasquez,"_

 _I froze. Fuck. My heart began pounding. My chest tightened. My breathing becoming short._

 _"_ _Went by to her house, it was emptied out. Neighbors said they hadn't seen them in weeks,"_

 _I shook my head, swallowing hard. My throat dry._

 _"_ _Son are you OK?" Officer two turned, a look of worry on his face._

 _I cleared my throat, nodding, "Yea, just...thirsty," I chuckled nervously._

 _He eyed the bottle in my hands. "That isn't going to help," he pointed._

 _I looked down at the bottle._

 _"_ _Are you planning on drinking that yourself son?" he crossed his arms over his buff chest._

 _Star would have been scared. She never like buff dudes._

 _"_ _No. Going to a party. Bring your own bottle you know," I chuckled, nodding._

I closed my eyes at the vacant memory. Hanging my head low, with my hands together, above my head. Every night since, I have thought of what I did. I was truly a fucked up person. How could I do that? I don't even know. I mean...I was drunk...god I'm lame...that shouldn't even excuse myself.

"What will it be son?" I heard someone call.

Lifting my head, I spot a man with a towel thrown over his shoulder, his hands spread out on the counter, staring at me.

"Uh, are you the manager?" I squinted.

He nodded, "What can I do you for?"

"Do you know anyone named Estrella Vasquez? She kind of looks like this, but with short, fire red hair," I asked him, pulling out my wallet and showing him a picture that I took of her at London Eye.

"Oh, E? Yea she worked here," he nodded. "Quit a couple of weeks ago. Her and her partner in crime, who got her the job when she first came here," he chuckled.

"Do you know why they quit?" I asked quickly.

"No. But I figured since E had barely graduated, she would had wanted to expand her horizons or something. Nay just tags along,"

"Do you know where they went?"

"Nope," he answered simply. "Why the interest?" he turned the tables.

"She and I are old friends...before she came here," I smiled weakly.

"Oh, well sorry I couldn't be of any help," He tapped on the counter.

"No, you helped me just fine thanks," I turned and walked away, climbing up to the VIP section, seeing AJ talking into his phone discreetly.

I eyed him before walking over to him.

"I'll talk to you later, bye. Love you," he said quickly, snapping his phone shut.

"Who were you talking to?" my brows furrowed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"My mom, what's it to you?" he scoffed, putting his phone inside his pocket.

"You were pretty quick on getting off the phone with her," I remarked.

"Yea so. Couldn't hear her with the music," he shrugged.

I looked at him curiously, as he kept moving his gaze over at me every second.

 _He knew._

[Estrella]

"I'm telling you she's like a bank. She knows the money she get's, divides what she is going to use, and saves the rest, and she _won't_ use it until she really needs too," I hear Nalyne explain, as I entered the back porch, holding three beers.

"Who's like a bank?" I ask, seeing Aaron and Nalyne turn around, grinning at me.

I walk over to them, handing them a bottle. Handing Aaron his, but quickly pulling back, "I never gave you this bottle," I pointed, handing it to him, making him giggle like a little kid who just did something evil.

I chuckled, shaking my head, and sitting on the long chair next to them. Sighing deeply, I began to laugh.

"What the hell," Aaron laughed. "How many have you had?"

"None," Nalyne cackled.

I laughed along with her, brows raised, and looking at her, "Whoa calm down. How many have _you_ had?" I joked.

She stuck her tongue at me.

We fell into silence, staring at the ocean waves crash together, and the ocean wind making them higher.

"This feels great," I whispered, feeling like I had too from the silence.

"Mhm," Aaron nodded.

Nalyne looked at us, then held up her bottle, "Here's too...fresh beginnings," she said boldly.

"Here here," Aaron and I said together, clinking our bottles.

 _Fresh beginnings._

I took a long swig from my beer.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight- Every time I close my eyes.

You know that moment when...you are having the time of your life, laughing, joking around, being with friends, and then...you get the call that totally crashes that? Yea...this is one of those moments. I'm sitting here, seeing the unconscious body of a man, laying in front of me, on the hospital bed, in the hospital I was in. Yea, I know. What the hell, right. Let me explain...

"This is so coooool," I squealed. Jumping around the room, from object to object, seeing and touching the sound board, the mics, the sound system, laptops, everything, "I don't know how I will ever repay you, but thank you thank you thank you," I bounced from foot-to-foot rapidly, running towards Aaron and hugging him.

He laughed, hugging me back, "No problem. You can just play my music from time to time. That's enough payment for me," he pulled away shrugging.

I gasped, "We should celebrate. Yes, yes, yes, yes," I clapped.

"To the clubs," Nalyne shouted, dancing.

We let out a loud 'Whoop' before locking the building and driving back to the house.

My hand in the air and the other running through my hair, as I moved my hips slowly from side to side. The heat radiating off our bodies spread through the dancing frenzy, like wildfire. I have never felt this good. My blood was pumping, the music rang in my ears, my skin was tingling. I was _hot._ My mind was high, my mouth was dry, and my heart was banging against my chest. I whipped my growing, white hair around, slowly rolling my hips.

"Your so hot," red sweater guy whispered into my ear, clutching my waist tightly, pulling me closer to him.

"Your not so bad yourself," I responded.

The song ended and I pulled away, giving the guy a thankful smile, and walked away. Reaching the far corner, towards the back of the club, I saw Aaron sitting at our table.

"Hey," I through myself to sit next to him, "Why aren't you out there, dancing away with some willing female?" I nudged him lightly.

He chuckle and shrugged. "Can't find anyone," he scanned the people passing in front of us. "Your phone rang by the way," he pointed.

I reached into my side bag pulling out my phone, seeing four missed calls from AJ and one text.

 _Call me back...NOW. A.S.A.P_

OK...

[Nick]

Sick. That's how I felt. Truly sick.

I stumbled down the dark side walk, once in a while being put under the spot light as I passed the street lights. I took a swig from the bottle in my hands. The liquid burn my throat as it sank and settled into my stomach. I sniffled, reaching up to wipe my stinging eyes. Feeling wetness (ha is that even a word?), I let the tears fall. I rubbed my eyes with my sleeves, coughing lightly. I closed my eyes, trying to regain control.

 _Giggle_

I shook my head. I haven't been able to sleep. She's in there. I close my eyes, I see her face. I sleep, it starts off good. She's there, next to me, in my arms, and just when things go further, it turns into a nightmare...I see what I did to her.

"I'm sorry," I cried silently, dragging on my 'sorry'. "I'm so sorry, baby," I sniffled, looking down at the, now, empty bottle. Throwing it, it smashed and breaks against the brick building I was walking next to. "Star," I called out.

 _Nick, please...stop._

I groaned, closing my eyes, and seeing her again. Feeling my tears spill, I wiped them away forcefully.

 _Nick don't do this, please._

I screamed, "Baby, I'm so sorry,"

 _You hurt me Nicky. Why?_

"I don't know baby. I'm so sorry," I walked, clutching my chest, feeling the large pang in my heart.

 _I thought you love me._

"I did. I do baby. I never stopped," I answered.

 _But you hurt me. Your not supposed to hurt those you love Nick. You of all people knows what that feels like._

"I know. I know," I swallowed my tears. "I..I don't know why. Star, I'm so sorry," I croaked.

 _Sorry doesn't cut it, Nick. Sorry won't fix anything._

I sobbed, throwing myself at the wall, hitting it fiercely with my fists, squeezing my eyes shut, seeing her crying. Banding my head against the concrete wall, the images began to leave. Opening them again, I turned to see I had reached my destination. I fiddled for my keys in my pocket. I clumsily pulled them out, unlocking the rental car, and climbing in. Starting the car, I immediately drove off. I drove, wiping my tears away.

 _Where am I going?_

I passed the hotel, but kept on driving. I reached a stop light, slowly slowing down the car, I stopped. Sick. My heart hurt, I had a bad gut feeling. I needed to talk to her. I need to tell her I was sorry. I had to do something. I began to drive off again. Hearing a honk as the sound came closer and closer, I turned seeing bright lights getting bigger each second. Last thing I heard, was the loud screeching sound of the tires against the pavement, and the clashing of metal.

[Estrella]

I ran down the white hall way, looking from side to side frantically. Reaching the split three way hall way, I stopped, turning from side to side.

"ELLA!" someone shouted behind me.

I turned seeing AJ standing with all the guys with him. I ran towards him. He hugged me tightly, then pulled away holding my arms.

"How is he? Is he OK? Have you talked to the Doctor yet? Have they told you anything?" I asked, panting.

He shook his head.

"No...no what? AJ answer me please. Is he OK?" I shook him, my breathing beginning to catch in my throat.

"Ella calm down," Kevin stood up, moving behind me.

"The doctors haven't told us anything. Just that...it was really bad L, the car was basically bent in half," AJ swallowed.

I gasped, covering my mouth, I clutched my chest with my free hand. Suddenly my legs gave out causing me to fall to the floor, letting out a loud cry. Kevin and AJ quickly went to grab me, seeing Howie, Brian, and Kristen stand quickly.

"No...no, no," I shook my head vigorously.

"Ella. Breathe, your need to calm down," Kristen soothed, rubbing my back carefully. "Being like this isn't going to be good for Nick," she whispered.

I nodded, trying to swallow the little saliva held in my mouth.

"Take a deep breathe," she commanded, leaning to the side slightly, trying to see my face. Her hand moved over my back a bit faster.

I breathed in deeply.

"Good. We just need to be patient. Nick will be OK," she said, calmly, wrapping her arms around me, taking me to the chairs, sitting us down.

I let out a shaky breathe, leaning forward, placing my elbows on my knees.

"Can't believe this," AJ scoffed.

Everyone turned to see him.

"After everything, you still care," he pointed at me, "After _everything_ he did to you!" he exclaimed.

"AJ!" I stood.

"What is he talking about?" Brian stepped in.

"Nothing," I answered quickly, glaring at AJ.

"OH, sure, _nothing._ Right," he exasperated.

"Shut it," I snarled, stepping closer to me.

"Why are you mad at me?" he fought.

"Right now is not the time," I responded.

"Why should you care L? He des-,"

The room filled with gasps, as I stared at Alex wide eyed.

"Don't you say that. No one ever deserves this," I choked.

"I see...and you deserved everything you got?" he clenched his jaw, retorting silently.

"Why are you even getting mad? You called _me_ and told me what happened. What did you expect?" I inhaled sharply, seeing a Doctor carefully walking towards us.

"Carter?" he called out.

I pushed past Alex, walking over to the Doctor, hearing everyone's footsteps behind me.

"Doc?" Kevin asked, before I could form any words to ask.

"He's stable. He has a broken arm, a few broken ribs, no internal bleeding, and a small gash at the side of his head. We were able to remove the broken glass that was impaired into the left side of his stomach. He lost a lot of blood, but other than that he's OK," he announced.

 _That doesn't sound good at all._

I gasped, feeling Kevin and Brian wrap a secure arm around each of my shoulders. I shook my head again, gloomily muttering, "Can we see him?"

The Doctor stared at me before moving his gaze to Kevin and Brian, as they rubbed my shoulders, feeling my breathing elevate every second the Doctor did not respond.

"I don't think right now is possible. We need to make sure he is completely stable. Then we have to wait for at least one family member to show up," he noted.

"He's not really in speaking terms with his family," Brian advised.

"No, no wait. Hi-his brother. He...he's here," I cleared my throat.

As if on command, ran around the corner, with Nalyne following suit.

"Aaron!" I yelled for him.

He turned, walking quickly over to us.

"How is he, is he OK?" he grabbed my giving hands.

"The Doctor," I began.

"Are you a relative?" he pointed.

"Yea I'm his brother," he answered calmly.

The Doctor took a hold of Aaron's arm, taking him away and talking to him in a low whisper.

"E, what's going on?" Nalyne took a hold of me.

"Nick...he was...he was in an accident. His injuries, they are bad Nay," I whispered, hugging her tightly.

"Have you seen him?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I just want to know if he's OK," I sniffled.

She sighed, "E," she began.

"Don't...please, just...don't," I pulled away.

"Yea. It's best to save your breathe," Alex announced.

I stepped aside to look at him, as he stood, and Nalyne turned around.

"She didn't listen to me either," he snarled.

I stomped towards him, getting in his face, "How can you be like that. That is your best friend in there," I pointed at the direction of Nick's door, "He's your little brother. What he's done doesn't matter to me right now. If you didn't want me to react like this, then you should have just kept your mouth shut," I spat, walking around him, shoving his shoulder with mine.

"E!" Nalyne called out to me.

[Nick]

 _Beep Beep._

 _We won't be able to take that out Doctor._

 _We have to, it won't do any good. It will just cause internal bleeding every time he moves._

What the...

How did I end up here? Why am I in an operation room?

"Um, hey, can someone tell me how I got here?" I asked aloud.

No one answered.

"Hello?" I called out again.

Still...no answer.

"Hello?" I hung my hello, waving my hands in the air.

And still, no one paid attention. They were all running around and calling out things and numbers. I barely understood any of it.

"Doctor Phillips!" A nurse yelled.

The Doc sighed in frustration, "What is it nurse?"

"Mr. Carter's heart rate is dropping,"

Wait...what!

"Dad!" I yelled. I stomped over to them, shoving the nurses out of the way

"Hang in there Mr. Carter," Doctor Phillips demanded.

The flat lining continued, as I stared at Doctor Phillips charge the metal pad things. They placed it against his chest, yelling 'clear', and sending electric shocks, nothing happened.

"Dad, wake up," I walked over to the head of the table, looking down at... _myself?_

"What the?" I backed away, "What is this?" I yelled looking at everyone as they tried to revive...well...me.

"Hey!" I snapped, shaking one of the nurses. "Yo, can you hear me? Hello?" I jumped, waving my arms around.

The straight beeping began its natural beats again.

The Doc sighed in relief. "Your gonna be alright Nick," he said softly.

I took deep heavy breaths, stepping back, bumping into the two sliding doors, and stepping out of the room. I wasn't in a hospital anymore. The room was dimmed. The smell of ocean breeze filled the air. The flickering of a fire shadowed everywhere...I knew this place.

"Hello?" I quietly call out.

"Nick," a voice said. A very familiar voice.

I sighed, closing my eyes. Loving the sound, even though it should sound angry and filled with disgust as it says my name.

"Star?" I merely whisper, opening my eyes.

I heard her exhale deeply. "I'm scared Nick," she responds softly.

"There is nothing to be scared of baby. I'm here...it's me," I hear myself, say.

I turn around, following the voices, walking closer as I see the familiar head of brown hair, then myself next to her. I was caressing her cheek softly, giving her small soft kisses on her lips.

"I know, I just..." she trailed off. I slipped my fingers under her hair, massaging her scalp lightly. Nudging her head with mine, I move my lips grazing her neck.

"I won't hurt you. I'll be gentle, I promise," I whispered in her ear.

My feet shuffle closer, slowly sitting at the end of the couch, on the arm rest.

I knew this memory. It was the first time we made love.

She nodded her head, slowly, leaning into my hand. Placing her hand on my wrist, she glided her fingers up my arm, outlining it up to my shoulder. "Kiss me Nick," she breathed, her lips brushing against mine.

I kissed her softly, taking her bottom lip in between mine, as I sucked on it lightly, she moved on to her knees, deepening the kiss. My hands slowly sliding down her sides, stopping at her thighs, she placed each hand on either sides of my neck, holding on as she climbed onto my lap. Seeing her ass softly press on my thighs. My fingers inch up under her shirt, seeing her soft skin as I begin to lift her shirt.

"I love you," she whispered, whimpering a little, as our lips pull away.

I stared at her, looking into her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just...I felt like my heart was going to rip out of my chest if I didn't tell you sooner," her body shook, noticing the goosebumps spreading on her tanned skin. She shook her head, looking down at our bodies, sliding her hands down to my chest. "That was totally corny," she chuckled nervously, "Forget I said anything,"

I grabbed her chin between my finger and thumbs, lifting her face up to look at me. Her eyes shifted and I quickly capture her lips, kneading my fingers through her long, chocolate, locks.

"I love you too," I replied quietly against her lips.

She smiled through the kiss, wrapping her arms around my neck. Grabbing a hold of her hips, I shift onto my knees, slowly pushing her on to the fur coated carpet, me hovering over her, our lips never leaving each other. My starts to sneak under her loose t-shirt, rubbing her skin as I reach to the edge of her bra.

I remember tracing the fabric teasingly. She began to whimper, wanting me to go forward. I broke the kiss quickly, slipping her shirt off of one arm, and over her head, seeing her lime green, black laced trimmed bra. I pushed a cup aside, sliding the strap off her shoulder, revealing her breast, and already erect nipple. I looked up to see her face, as she watched me with her hooded gaze, her chest rising and falling quickly. I licked my lips before latching them onto the small pebble. She gasped, arching her back, wiggling her hips slightly. My tongue flicked over it, then circled around it, before taking it into my mouth, and sucked on it harshly, my lips pulling on it as I pulled away. Star began rubbing her foot against the back of my leg, biting her lip. My eyes moved over her face, loving how aroused she was getting. I was getting there, a bit, myself. I watched as I took a long lick across her luscious breast, my thumb repeatedly gliding over her nipple. My fingers danced down the length of her body, rubbing it in circular motion, reaching the elastic band of her underwear. I watch as my fingers teasingly slip in and out of her wanting spot. She begins to writhe under me. Using my teeth, I take the other strap from her bra, moving it over and off her shoulder. What looked like I was burying my face in between her full breasts, I was actually trying to push the cup down, while my arm held me up, and the other had busy, teasing fingers.

"The clip is in the front," Star muttered.

My face lifts up from where it was and I stared at her. She lifted her hand, tapping on the clip in front of her bra. A smirk spread across my face.

"I always loved when she wore those," I muttered, to myself obviously.

My tongue peeked out, licking the center of her stomach, lightly. She smiled, biting her lip. My tongue stuck out again, this time licking my way up to the simple clip. Snapping my teeth around it, I pulled at it, then I bit down hard breaking it.

She gasped, "This was my favorite bra," she squeaked.

I bit the mangy cup, pulling it away.

"I'll buy you another one," I muttered, looking down at her yearning breasts.

"I'll hold you to that," she chuckled.

I took my fingers out of her undies, passing them between her breasts, then over one, giving it a light squeeze.

"I love your tits," I leaned forward, licking her perky, unattended nipple.

She moaned quietly, "Very...romantic...Nick," she breathed.

I chuckled, "I try," I hushed, at the same time the other me said it.

Trailing back down, my finger hooked onto the elastic hem of her underwear, lifting it up, and letting go, allowing it to snap against her skin, making her jump, but not protest. My fingers slithered under the thin fabric, putting down a little pressure. My fingers stopped just above her slit and they began to move again, only staying in the same place, massaging in circles creating, from the sounds she was making, a wonderful friction for her. I moved up, kissing her hard, pulling my hand away, only to relocate it between her legs on top of her only barrier. My hand pressed lightly at her core, massaging while kissing her passionately. Her hands snake around to my back, running her fingers over my muscles, as her back curves up, pressing herself closer to me. Her mouth slowly opens, allowing me to slip my tongue in, rolling my tongue around hers.

"Nicky," she muttered against my lips, breathlessly.

Pulling away slowly from her lips, with a smacking sound, I gazed down at her.

"I want you," she whimpered.

A smirk slowly spread across my lips, "I'm right here baby," I responded coolly, moving the crotch of her panties to aside, sliding my finger down to her opening and up to her clit, over and over. "My my Star. Your really wet," I breathed, licking her bottom lip.

She whimpered, lifting her hips off the carpet.

"Ah, ah. None of that," I moved my finger away from her moist pussy, placing it right above her clit.

She turned her head away, biting her bottom lip, moving her hands away from me. Turning back to look at me, she stared into my eyes, reaching up, placing a hand on my cheek. She looked at me so intensely, with so much love.

I looked down at my lap, rubbing my eyes with my fingers, feeling the salty water that leaked from them.

 _How could I have screwed that up?_

I looked back up at the scene playing before me and gasped loudly. Star laid there, alone, on our bed. Her arms wrapped tightly around the pillow I usually laid on. I stepped closer to the bed, carefully sitting down on the soft mattress. My eyes gaze down at her sleeping form as she clung to my pillow. My hands lift from my knees, grazing my fingers along side her face. She stirred, twitching her nose a little. I chuckle at the cute gesture she always did when being bothered from her sleep. I hear the rustling of a door knob, then a loud slam. Star immediately sits up, looking around.

"Nick?" She calls out.

The bedroom door opens, and I quickly turn to see who it was. Seeing myself stumble through the thresh hold.

"Heeeeeey baby," I grinned.

"Nick? What time is it?" she rubbed her eyes, with the palms of her hands.

"It's time for you to give me some suga," I responded, throwing myself at her, causing her to fall back onto the mattress.

"Oh God," she turned away, as my lips latched onto the side of her neck.

"Mmm, you taste so good baby," I mutter against her skin.

"Nick you reek," she shut her eyes.

My hand roughly moved down her body, lifting the loose shirt she wore, "Damn, no panties? Fuck," I smirked, moving my hand forcefully over her pussy lips.

"Nick, your drunk," she clenched her small hands into my bare shoulders.

"Mm just had a few baby. It's nothing," I nibbled at her ears, seeing the sea of chills spread over her soft skin.

"Nick...no," she began pushing me.

"Come on Star, I need some," I whined, rubbing my thumb over her bud.

"No Nick. Not tonight baby," she pushed my shoulders back.

I tsked, sitting back onto my knees, groaning, slamming my arms on the mattress, at Star's sides.

"What is it with you? Do I not attract you anymore?" I yelled.

I stared at her frightened figure. Her arms were pressed together, tightly against her chest, as if blocking herself from me.

"It's the new guy on the crew right? You want to fuck him? You was his dick in your pussy," I sneered.

"Baby, what are talking about? I just don't want to do it tonight," she explained, slowly moving the same way I was sitting.

"Just like every other night," I growled loudly. "You don't love me anymore," I crossed my arms over my chest, sticking my bottom lip out.

"What?! Nick your saying stupid shit...of coarse I love you," she reached out to me, but I shoved her hands away.

"No. I'm 'broken'. Nobody wants a 'broken' Nick Carter. Not even my fans," I huffed.

She shook her head, looking at me like I had grown two heads, "I think you should go to sleep," she suggested.

"NO! I don't want sleep. I want to fuck and I'm getting some," I reached towards her, grabbing her arms, pulling here near me, and slamming her back onto the mattress, hooking my hands at her knees, pulling her legs apart roughly, moving into them.

She slapped her hands onto my chest trying to push me away.

I look away, digging my face into my hands.

"Oh God...I've done this before," I my eyes widened.

I turned back around, my eyes moving around the new scenery, seeing it was my bathroom. I turned towards the door, seeing Star moving off the bed slowly and carefully, as I slept there. She walked over to the restroom, completely naked. She stood in front of the mirror, staring at herself. She squatted down, opening the sink cabinet, pulling out her make up kit box. She placed the metal box on the ceramic corner, opening it up, pulling out a sponge, she continued to rummage through the cosmetics. She pulled out a bottle that had paper tape that had 'E's Concealer'. She dabbed some of the tan fluids onto the sponge. She placed the container down, slowly looking back up to the mirror. With her free hand, she hooked her bangs behind her ear.

I gasped seeing the big black and blue mark on the side of her face. She swallowed hard, slowly applying the concealer on to the bruised area.

"It's going to be OK. Nothing happened. It was only one time. It was nothing," she whispered to herself while she smeared the contents.

Her lips began to quiver. She closed her eyes and faced down to the sink. She lifted her hands, dropping the sponge, and covered her face. She sobbed loudly, causing me to stir, and breathe in sharply. She quickly covered her mouth, her neck being sucked in.

"Star?" I called out sleepily.

She swallowed again. "Yes?" she croaked, placing her make up back in the box, and placing the box under the sink. She turned, walking back into the bedroom.

I followed behind her, seeing myself rubbing my eyes.

"Hey," I gave her a lazy smile.

She returned the gesture weakly. "Hi."

"Why are you naked baby?" I chuckled deeply.

"I...I got hot in the middle of the night," she whispered.

"Come here," I waved her over, "your so far away,"

She walked over next to me, kneeling on the ground. I placed my hand at the side of her face, tugging her down, kissing her lips softly. She sniffled and I pulled away.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concern written all over my face, as I gently caressed her cheek with my thumb.

"Nothing. I just had a nightmare last nigh. I'm still a little shaken up by it," she offered a small smile.

I leaned in giving her a small kiss. "Everything is OK. I'm here," I recited.

I closed my eyes, shaking my head.

 _How could I be so stupid? How did I not even think of the night before?_

Opening my eyes again, I had Star pinned to the bed, slamming into her. My groans and growls echoed through the room. My arms were outstretched, my hands on her shoulders.

"Fuck you feel so good," she moaned.

I tilt my head to the side, paying attention to the voice. I stepped closer seeing a head of blonde hair. Stepping closer, I see a girl with her mouth gaped open, screaming with every thrust I gave.

 _I remember this...Oh God...No._

"You like that, don't you dirty bitch" I growled, leaning down and sticking my tongue into her mouth.

I close my eyes looking away. Suddenly I hear a door slam.

"Nick, what the fuck are you doing?" snapped a very confused and angry Star.

I turned to look at her.

My other self turned to look at her over his shoulder, still moving in and out of blondie, "What...does it...look like," I grunted, turning back to look down at blondie, who was far gone to acknowledge Star.

Star marches over to the side of the bed, quickly shoving me hard off the other girl, "Get the fuck out," she growls.

The girl stayed there, not moving an inch, panting, as she looked over to me, watching me as I wrapped the duvet around myself.

"OUT!" Star yelled, pointing at the door. She bent down grabbing what she could of blondie's clothes, chucking them at her. "Scram bitch," she reached down grabbing her from the wrist, pulling her forcefully off the bed, literally, kicked her out of the room, not giving her a chance to get dressed.

 _She's so hot when she's mad._

She spun on her heel and stared at me, looking _really_ pissed. She ran to the bed and began smacking my arms and chest, with strength that indicated she didn't really want to hurt me.

"You fucking bastard. On our bed. I could you fucking do this to me," she cried.

I lifted my arm, in terms to block her weak hit. Getting frustrated, I snatch her wrists, shoving her away, casing her to fall back off the mattress on the the floor.

"What did you expect? You've been denying me for weeks now, I had to find some attention elsewhere," I shrugged, staring down at her, as she propelled herself on her hands.

"I fucking hate you," she spat, shuffling to her feet, she stomped over to the drawers, angrily opening them, pulling out clothes.

"What are you doing?" I asked coolly.

"What does it look like," she responded icily. "I'm out, I'm not taking anymore of this shit," before she could open another, I jumped off the bed, running to her, slamming the drawer closed, my arms on either side from her.

"Move," she demanded.

"No," I breathed.

She pulled at the drawer, but I kept my hands there, "Move God dammit," she shouted.

I kept my ground. She turned and stared at me, before placing her hands on my chest, shoving me hard. I fell back, looking up at her in shock. She had never been forceful with me. She never wanted any harm done to me.

She looked down at me with a disgusted look on her face. She strode towards the door turning the knob. I immediately jump back up, pouncing towards her, grabbing her waist, and pulling her away from the door. "Your not going anywhere, did you not _hear_ me say that," I growled into her ear, as she jumped and wiggled, trying to break free.

"Let me go," she fought, I dragged her away from the door, intending on taking her to the bathroom. She impaled her platform heel into my foot, causing me to yell out in pain, and release her. She turned to face me, seeing as she was about to say sorry, but soon turned and ran to the door. I limped towards her at a fast pace, catching her before setting foot out the bedroom. I pulled her by her arm, into the room. Loosing her balance, she slammed on to the floor with a horrible crack. She held the back of her head with one hand, while pushing herself away with the other, as I limped towards her. I walked behind her grabbing her by the hair, pulling her towards the bathroom.

"Nick stop, please that hurts," she wailed, holding her hair, trying to relieve some pain.

"You don't think it hurts you leaving. Everybody leaves me. They just want a little of me then leave," I growled, letting her go.

She moved onto her knees, as she began to crawl away.

I quickly turned away from the scene, grabbing at my chest.

"You don't love me," I heard myself shout.

"Nick please stop...NO," Star bellowed after me.

I heard myself grunt over and over, hearing Star's whimpers, and the loud smackings I wanted to forget.

"God...Please, help him," Star muttered.

I turned around, seeing her sitting at the front of a Chapel, crying.

"Don't take him away. Please," she sniffled. "I know...I know he's done me wrong, but please...I don't want to let him go...I...I still love him," she stifled sob, looking down.

"Star," I breathed.

She gasped, turning to look at my direction. She looked around, scared. Her chest rose and fell quickly. My footsteps abated as I glided towards her. Positioning myself in front of her, I squatted down, shifting my cold hand to the side of her face, attempting to make her see me, only too have go through her. Still, it had the same affect. She turned to look at me, well through me.

"I'm sorry," I meekly whisper my apology, I sheered, bestowing a phantom kiss on her rosy lips. She sighed keenly, dropping her gaze, "Nick," she croaked, "please, don't go," tears began to pool at the crease of her eyes.

I shook my head vigorously, "I'm not going anywhere,"

"I know you've hurt me...more ways than one, but leaving us...leaving me, will hurt more than anything you've every done. So please, I _beg_ you, please, don't go," she blubbered.

"Ahem," someone cleared their throat.

Looking over Star's shoulder, AJ stood there momentarily just before walking over, and sitting next to us.

"What do you want?" she asked coldly, wiping her tears.

"I...I wanted to apologize. You were right, he's my best friend, and even at moments like this, I shouldn't be thinking the way that I am," he croaked. "And I really didn't know what to expect when I called you. I guess," he sighed, squinting his eyes, and rubbing them with the palms of his hands, "I don't know. It just...it bothers me, I irks me to know..." his gaze altered, watching her, as he trailed off.

"Alex," she said softly, placing a friendly hand on his knee.

"No," he stood quickly, "Why couldn't you have noticed me? Why did it have to be him? None of this would have happened," he argued.

"So your saying this is my fault?" she peered at him in disbelief.

"Yes...NO! God. What what I'm trying to say is," he knelt beside her, placing his hands on her knees, "I could have treated you better than him. He hurt you...physically _and_ emotionally, yet here you are," he reached up, wiping her falling tear, from the curve of her cheek, "crying for him praying for him. It seems like everything he does...hurts you...even when he's not trying," he finished with a whisper, caressing her cheek.

My eyes veered between them, mostly concentrating on AJ's hand.

He leaned up, closing his eyes. My eyes widened as I saw his lips get closer and closer to her. Star closed her eyes, turning away, causing AJ to drop his head, and sigh in disappointment.

"I can't," she said, looking down at her hands.

"Why...why can't you? Your not his any more, he obviously doesn't care about you anymore," he looked back up at her.

She inhaled deeply, placing her hands on either side of AJ's face, gazing back up at him, "Alex..." she paused, looking into his eyes.

"I love you," he breathed.

"WHAT!" I shrieked, "Dude...how the hell can you do this to me? Your like a brother to me," I roared into AJ's ear.

I heard Star breath, as I turned to look at her. She closed her eyes, "AJ, I love you...just...your my best friend," she started.

"You can learn to love me as more than that," he pleaded (no pun intended. I wasn't even thinking until I reread that lol)

"I can't. I know I can't," her voice shook.

"Why?" she cried silently.

She smiled at him weakly, shrugging lightly, "Because when I gave my heart and I left, I never really got it back," she answered silently, tears beginning to form again, "My heart is and will always belong to him AJ," she breathed.

"I get it," he responded flatly, "I guess good guys _do_ always finish last," he stood.

"AJ," she pleaded, reaching out for his hand, but he pulled away.

"No. I guess I'll have to be an asshole to get attention from someone like you," his jaw clenched, as he glowered down at her.

"That's not fair," she shook her head, crying.

"Whatever," he muttered, walking out of the chapel.

Star turned back around, facing the front of the small chapel, wrapping her arms around her midriff, leaning forward, sobbing onto her knees.

"God, when will all this pain just stop?" she wept.

 _When will this pain go away?_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine- Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk.

Doesn't _anybody_ fucking understand? I don't give a fucking rat's ass if I'm not a damn relative. If Aaron has already given the clear I can go in, then I'm going in.

I paced back and forth, my thoughts racking through my mind. Wringing my hands together in all nervousness, running my fingers through my hair occasionally. I sat down on the chair, in the hallway, for a few seconds, only to stand up quickly, and pace again.

"Jesus Ella, please sit down. You're making me dizzy," Howie whined.

"Sorry," I answered silently, slowing my steps down, coming to a complete stop.

I bend my knuckles, popping them in the process, and bounced on my feet.

"Ella," Aaron whispered hoarsely from around the corner.

I turned quickly to face him. He waved me over, mouthing me to hurry.

"What is it?" I whispered in eagerness.

"Come on," he grabbed my wrist, before looking around, and dragging me into a room. He pulled me in turning to close the door. Slowly, I turned, seeing the one person I had been worried, and wanting to see for the past two days, that I had been stuck in this wretched hospital.

"Oh my God," I gasped, covering my mouth, my feet quickly shuffling towards him. My hands frantically hovered over his body, not knowing if I should or not touch him.

"They said it was going to take him sometime to wake up," Aaron whispered from behind me, "I wanted you too see him...before mom showed up..." he trailed off.

Nick's mother has _never_ liked me. Well...that's not entirely true...OK...maybe it is. She liked me before she met me. After we were officially introduced, she sort of held this grudge against me. Honestly, not even within the hour of knowing me.

 _I walked beside Nick, holding onto his arm tightly._

 _"_ _Babe, your going to cut the circulation off of my arm," he chuckled, slipping out of my grasp, and wrapping his, still alive, arm around my neck._

 _"_ _Sorry, I'm just super nervous," I sighed._

 _"_ _It's going to be alright," he rubbed my arm. "My mom isn't that bad," he promised._

 _"_ _That doesn't completely help you know," I pouted as we stepped up to the front door._

 _"_ _Aw pouting lip," he smirked, leaning down, taking my bottom lip in between his teeth, lightly biting it, then wrapping his lips around it, sucking it lightly._

 _I slapped his chest, shoving him lightly, "Don't do that," I gritted._

 _He laughed, rubbing the spot, "Don't be such a prude," he moves his hand towards the door, and knocks, moving his free hand down, intertwining our fingers._

 _I see Nick look over to me from the corner of my eye._

 _"_ _It's going to be OK baby. Just breathe," he rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb._

 _I exhale, breathing in deeply as the door opens, spreading a genuine smile across my face._

 _I sat uncomfortably quiet, at the dinner table, as everyone served themselves food. I watched as Nick reached out to grab a spoonful of mashed potatoes._

 _"_ _You going to want something baby?" he asks, as he turns to look at my empty plate._

 _I nod a little, not moving my eyes from my plate._

 _"_ _Let her do it herself Nicky," Jane called out from the end of the table. "She isn't disabled..." she looked up from her plate, "or are you?" a smirk played on her lips._

 _A snicker was heard from the seat next to Jane, coming from Angel, with her hand over her mouth, keeping her soda from spraying out of her mouth. Aaron nudged her._

 _"_ _Mom," Nick sneered._

 _I cleared my throat, "No I'm not," I said silently._

 _"_ _Excuse me?" she asked, sticking her ear out, as if that would have made her listen better._

 _"_ _I said no I'm not. I'm not disabled. I'm not Athiest. I'm not after your sons money, because I am perfectly happy with what I do and_ where _I do it. And yes...I do live with him, and you know what, we fuck like rabbits every day. Also, I tore that God awful sweater you bought him one evening in the equipment closet, backstage," I huffed, my voice getting louder as I rambled on. Nick eyes were wide and everyone else stared._

 _I quickly pushed the chair back and stood up, prepared to walk out._

 _"_ _Nickolas, your going to let her talk to me like that? I wonder if you get that snotty mouth from your mother. Didn't she ever teach you any manners?" she stood._

 _"_ _Mom," Nick yelled._

 _"_ _My Mother was a great person and she taught me to treat others the way I want to be treated, but if they are still going to be up your ass, then fuck them, and treat them with the same respect they treat you. And ma'am,_ you've _treated me like shit since I set foot in here so...KISS MY ASS," I turned on my heal, heading towards the door, I paused and turned one more time, "by the way, my Mother is dead," I cried, stomping away._

I pushed my fingers into Nick's hand, rubbing the back of his hand with my thumb.

Aaron's phone suddenly echoed through the whole room.

"I'll be back," he walked out.

I gazed down at our joined hands, my eyes climbing up his arm, passed his neck, onto his black and blue face. I sniffled, looking away, removing my hand from his, placing it on my chest.

I never really wished this on him. Moments when your angry and hurt, you tend to say or think things you don't really mean.

I lifted my hand on to the side of his face, pushing his hair back, I leaned down, staring at him closely.

"Please...I know you can hear me, so please...come back," I whispered, caressing his cheek, my gaze scanning for any movement on his face. I close my eyes hopelessly, dropping my head between his neck and shoulder. "I'm sorry," I sobbed silently. My chest constricted, feeling slight movement under me. I lifted myself slightly, looking down at his body, waiting for another movement. I look back up to his face, shaking my head a little. "Why I love you so much is beyond me, but I do," I inched closer to him, placing a small kiss on his warm, yet cool forehead.

"What the _hell_ do you think your doing?" a woman shrieked from behind me. Suddenly I was pulled and shoved away from Nick's side. "What do you think your doing here!" yelled the, now, familiar woman.

"What do you think... _ma'am?_ " I gritted.

"This is all your fault," Angel joined, from behind Jane.

"How is this _my_ fault? I wasn't even there," I argued.

"If you hadn't shown up. He wouldn't have been going through this," Angel spat.

I shook my head at her in disbelief.

"Yea that's right. He called me a couple of nights ago crying. Saying that he saw you and you walked away," she placed her hands on her hips.

"What am I supposed to do? Huh? Tell me? What would satisfy you, your royal fucking Highness? Am I suppose to be keeping tabs on everything he does? Move every time he's in the area?" I swung my hands in the air.

"Guys please. Nick wouldn't want you fighting," Aaron pleaded.

"Just stay away from my son...you've cause enough damage," she shoved past me.

"I didn't do squat. And you don't even know what went on between your son and I, because you were never interested in his relationship with me," I pushed, turning to face her.

"I know more than you think I do little girl. Like how he smacked you around quite a bit. I don't find that surprising. I can't see anyone putting up with _your_ big mouth," she smirked evilly.

I returned the gesture, "He never seemed to complain about my big mouth," my brow arched.

The smirk fell from her lips faster than speedy Gonzalez, "I think you deserved it," she retorted.

Just like her, the smirk fell from my face.

"A dog needs too be put in its place," she crossed her arms over her chest, sticking her chin up, looking down at me.

Angel and Aaron both gasped.

I balled my hands into fists, clenching my jaw.

"Maybe that is why you have nobody. Why you have no friends, why your father walked out..." she shot.

I bit my tongue, tasting the hint of blood.

"Why your brother rather spend his time in jail than with you," a sinister smile spread across her lips. "Why your Mother _really_ died..."

Then suddenly, something snapped. My palm connected with her cheek, casing a loud vibrato with the connection of skin. She gasped, scoffing lightly, holding her cheek, in shock. Her amazed expression turning into a scowl, she reached out grabbing my hair, yanking it, full force.

It is times like these I miss my long hair. I could hold it mid way, so the tugging wouldn't hurt.

I pressed my hands against Jane's abdomen, trying to push her away

"Oh my God!" Angel screamed.

I caught a glimpse of Aaron's and Angels shoes. I'm guessing they were trying to pull Jane off of me because they kept on screaming 'Mom let go of her.'

"What is going on here?" a baritone voice yelled, from behind me.

His footsteps were short and loud, as they appeared beside Aaron's custom Nike's. Suddenly the grip on my hair, loosened. I stood straight, glaring at Jane as Aaron held her back.

"Get that bitch out of here," Jane snarled, panting, and being held back by Angel and Aaron.

"Don't bother...I'm fucking gone," I spat back, storming out of Nick's room.

"Ella...wait!" Aaron called out from behind me.

"Aaron..." I sighed, stopping.

He took a hold of my arm, causing me to shake him away.

"Call me if there are any changes," I looked at him, "Please?" I whispered.

"Yea...yea, alright," he nodded.

I smiled at him weakly, turning around to walk out.

"Hey listen...I'm sorry...for what happened in there," he waved.

"It wasn't your fault," I responded and walked away.

 _Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring_

I walked around my new studio, preparing for my first show on the air.

"E! Answer the phone!" Nalyne shouted.

I sighed, frustratingly, walking around the sound board, and swiping my phone away from the counter.

"Hello?" I answered, with a hint of annoyance.

"Star...It's me," came a hoarse voice, from the other end.

I breathed in sharply.

It had been two weeks since I had heard anything about Nick. He was still in the hospital and Aaron hadn't mentioned him at all. He had pretty much slipped out of my mind faster than the last time.

"Star? You there?" I stayed quit, "Please, don't hang up," he breathed.

I licked my lips, opening my mouth, but not saying anything. I exhaled deeply, placing my free hand on my hip.

"Star?" he asked again.

"I'm here," I responded in merely a whisper. I drag my teeth along my lower lip.

Nick sighs, "H...how are you?" he whispers back.

I chuckle. Shaking my head a little, thinking its was totally like him to ask a question like that in his condition.

"What?" he chuckles, with slight nervousness.

"Shouldn't I be asking that question?" I smile slightly.

"Oh well yea...but I figured I'd ask you first. Didn't think you would want to talk," he trailed off.

I chewed the side of my lips, scratching my brow with my thumb, "How are you?" I asked shaking, my heart beating out of my chest...literally. I was seeing my shirt flutter with every beat.

He cleared his throat, stuttering slightly, "Uh...I'm, I'm good, you know," I hear him curse silently.

"No I don't know," I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Well besides barely waking up from, what I guess, was a three week coma...I'm pretty fucking good...lost some of my weight," he laughed nervously.

I laughed along, trying to set him at ease, "Shame. I was actually digging your new look," I smiled.

Nick scoffed, "Yea right,"

"I was. I was liking the new put on weight. It made you more attractive in my eyes," I giggled.

"OK, now your just making fun of me," he pointed.

I laughed, throwing my head back, "I'm not. I really was liking it," I kicked the floor, swinging my leg a little.

"Sure sure," I could hear the smile behind his sentence.

"Niiick," I whined.

He laughed on the other side.

"Like you need assurance that your hot," I retorted almost silently.

"I, I'm sorry, what did you say...I'm _hot,_ " he giggled.

"Your an idiot," I laughed.

"HEY! No insulting the cripple," he scowled playfully.

"Your not crippled," I laughed.

"Temporarily,"

"Well, that doesn't count," I grinned.

Only our breathing was heard from each of our ends.

I began to hear small snickers from the other side, suddenly turning into full on laughter, leaving my confused, only to join in, in seconds.

"I think think the accident has affected you," I laughed.

"Sorry. This just reminded me of when you first gave me your number. You would be flirting with me and we would laugh, then we would run out of shit to talk about," he remembered.

" _I_ would flirt? _You_ were the one to start, I just thought I'd give you the attention you seek-ed,"

"Ha. Ha. Yea right. You know you want me," he laughed, dipping his voice low, making it more sexier than usual, just how I liked it.

I shivered slightly, "Whatever," I answered shaking.

He snickered. Staying silent.

"E," Nalyne called out from behind me.

I turned, seeing her rolling her hand, informing me that we were about to go live.

"Listen Nick, I have to go. I'm kind of busy," I began.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, inhaling deeply.

"What?" I tilted my head to the side.

"I'm sorry. For... _everything_ ," he breathed. "For treating you like shit. For taking my anger out at you. For just putting you through hell and blaming you for everything. Especially for what happened the park. I don't know what was going on with me. I just really wanted you to believe me and I don't know," he rambled.

I turned around to Nalyne, who was tapping on the glass, mouthing at me to hurry.

"Nick I really have to go," I quickened, chewing my lip.

"Star, no. Please just listen to me. I just want you to know tha-"

"We can talk about this some other time, but I really have to go. Call you...sometime," I answered, hanging up, and running over to the other room, sitting in front of a mic.

"Who was that?" Nalyne asked.

"Doesn't matter," I exhaled, putting on my headphones.

She shrugged, doing the same.

"ALRIGHT...3...2...1"

"Hey. Welcome to Random logic radio. Thanks for tuning in, or if your just scanning and just happened to stop here, well still, thanks and welcome. I'm your...Radio host Skylar," I announced.

"And I'm Nay Nay. Yes! There _are_ two people running this thing," she giggles. "And we are two fucking hotties just...you know...talking and stuff," she shrugged at me.

I laughed...

"We're going to start you off with a song. So this is Eminem featuring Rihanna 'Love the way you lie'. Enjoy," I smiled, clicking 'mic off' and pressing sound switch, making music play.

I leaned back against the chair, grabbing my phone from my pocket. And I sat there as I stared at it.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten- Repeating.

"So today is Valentine's Day. Hope everyone has a special someone to share your love with. Whether it's a close relative, a friend, or your better half, significant, whatever you call them," I chuckled into the microphone. "What I want to know is, what happened to the days when guys just, you know, had the _balls_ to ask us out, or say 'I like you'? Now they just give you pretty gifts and wait for your reaction and if you like it, you're immediately theirs," I scoffed, shrugging. I mean _seriously?_ I mean, we could just like the gifts. That doesn't mean anything," I shook my head.

Nalyne laughed, nodding. "And the worst part is, there is no way you can tell them you guys are not together because, he's telling everyone in front of you. Like he _knows_ you won't say anything when there are people, friends, around," she spoke.

"Exactly," I smiled, shaking my head. "So I hope you guys have a wonderful, _wonderful_ Valentine's Day. Especially those you think they don't have anyone. Just look beside you and see who your spending your day with. So this is Random logic Radio, I'm Skylar," I giggled.

"And I'm Nay Nay," Nalyne cheered.

"This is us signing off with McFly 'All about you'. Good night," I sang, waiting for the red light to go off. As soon as it did, I removed my headphones, standing up from my seat.

"Awesome show guys," Eric, our sound guy, commented.

I smiled at him quickly, looking down at my phone, hearing Nalyne's faint 'thank you'.

"I don't understand why you don't just tell him you like him," my fingers glided over my phone keypad.

Nalyne slaps her hand on my back, shoving me playfully. "Why don't you tell me who you've been secretly messaging with," she clicked her tongue. "PreTTY mysterious there ay," she nudged me again, accenting on the 'tt'.

I locked my arm with hers, swinging it around, and off me. "Cuz it's none of your business," I snapped playfully, tucking my phone in my back pocket.

"Well," she clicked her tongue, "same goes to you fucker. Besides, I don't see him like that. My eyes are on a certain tall blonde," she smirked, twirling around.

My eyes snapped towards her, staring deeply into her.

"Or were you finally planning on hooking up with the NICE Carter?" her right brow, rose.

"What the fuck has been up with you lately? Are you on your rag or something...PMSing or some shit?" I hissed.

"I have been _shamelessly_ flirting with Aaron, you've noticed," She pointed, "and yet you still make the moves on him," her nose flared.

"Moves?" my brows furrowed, "What moves? Nay...I've known Aaron since he was like...I don't know ten. He's basically a little brother to me," I forced. "There are no moves going on," I waved my arms.

She breathed in slowly, glowering down at me. After a few seconds, her face softened.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head, "I've just been a little on edge lately," she chuckled, weakly.

"Why what's wrong?" my brows pull together

"I think...I think I've been getting random call from...Marcus," she looks up at me.

I stare at her, aghast. "Are you sure?" I whisper.

"I'm positive. My phone rings every minute I wake up, during radio breaks, and before I go to bed. Every time I answer, there is NO sound, just really heavy breathing, and it's creeping me out. And when I don't answer the calls are endless," her face and body throwing off worry signals, she wraps her arms around herself.

I take a deep breathe, rubbing my lip with my index finger, "As long as those calls don't go beyond that, there is nothing you should worry about," I nodded to her.

She nods, moving closer to me, and gave me a hug.

"It's gonna be fine Nay, don't worry," I whisper to her, rubbing her back warmly.

"No, no more chocolate, the Doc said you needed to lay off that shit Nay," I yelled at her, as we moved down the isles in Wal-Mart.

"Just one bar...please," she held out her plea, pouting slightly.

I chuckle lightly, shaking my head at her. "No," I demanded.

Sudden whispers broke through the store. Stares going everywhere. I turn towards Nalyne, looking at her curiously, as she stared off in the direction everyone else was staring at. I hesitantly turn to stare as well, seeing the familiar, yet different head of blonde hair walking down the same _fucking_ isle I was standing in. At his side...a tall beautiful brunette, long, a bit passed her shoulders. She looks like she's had work done...not going to lie. The amount of make up on her face made her appear fake...but still beautiful. My eyes roll down her body, admiring her black and white, sleeveless dress hugging her body. Her slender, toned arms wrapped around the right arm I once you too lay on.

Slowly and snakingly I slip on my hoodie, peeking slightly from under it, watching them put in things into their own trolley. I turn my body towards the shelf of items, taking glanced every chance I got, watching Nalyne gawk at Nick from behind him, giving silent 'oh my god's'. I furrow my brows, shaking my head at her.

"Baby, I'm gonna go check if they have Wheat Germ," long legs tells Nick. He just nods, giving her a small smile before she slips her arms away from him.

I breathe in deeply, exhaling slowly, causing random hiccups to occur.

"Shi-it," I hiss.

A deep chuckle emerges from behind me.

"Take deep breathes," he advices me softly.

I inhale and exhale deeply, the hiccups slowly fading away.

"Thank you," I mutter.

"No problem," he chuckles, "My uh, Ex used to get the hiccups all the time. Mainly when she got nervous,"

I peek at him from under my hoodie, seeing his smile.

"She actually got them a few times when we met. Then I kinda wore off on her," he laughed lightly.

"Don't you mean ' _they_ wore off'?" I corrected, my voice still soft.

"No, I'm pretty sure the excitement of being in front of me wore off," he laughed.

"Now that's horseshit. The feeling never wore off," I responded, immediately regretting it.

"What?" he chuckled, breathlessly?

"Nothing," I panic, "Thanks for the advice," I turn, heading towards Nalyne, grabbing the cart, and pushing it in the opposite direction.

"Are you fucking crazy?" she hissed at me, right before feeling a strong hold on my elbow, being turned quickly.

"Jesus, can't I just...gr-ah," I growl, under my breath.

"Star?" he breathes.

"Yes it's me. Jesus!" I exclaim, shoving his hands off of me.

He looks at me confused, for a split second looking down at his falling hands.

I inhale sharply, moving my bangs out of my face, hooking them on either ear, matching the rest of my short hair, right below my ear.

"You never called back," he whispers, looking down both ways of the isle.

"Yea, I know. I'm aware," I answer, exasperated.

"Why?" he stares at me, hurtfully.

"Because I didn't want to Nick," I replied, in sad desperation. "I left, OK! I left to get away from you. I wanted nothing to do with you anymore. I was done. I was done then and I'm still done now," I turned on my heel and began to walk away, leaving him speechless for a few good minutes.

"What are you doing here in Florida, Star? If your so done with me, why come back here?" his voice ricochet off the metal shelves.

"Baby, I found the wheat germ," I heard from far behind me.

"OK lolo," follows Nick's voice.

Footsteps began to fade, as my breath slowly sinks in my lungs.

"Well? Why you are here Star? Here, out of all the places?" he urged.

"Why are _you_ here? Last I heard you moved to Nashville...and you're certainly not here to visit family, because they are all in L.A...Even your mom," I crossed my arms, turning to face him.

"Keeping tabs on me?" a slight smirk aches to show on his lips.

"Kind of hard not to hear about you when a coworker is your biggest fucking fan," I growl.

"You still haven't answered my question," he mirrors my stance.

"I'm not your concern anymore Nick," my eyes shift slightly, looking behind him, seeing the "super model" looking chick, comes up the aisle, reading a bottle label. "I suggest you turn around and stick to what, now, does," my brow arched, as I turn back around, walking down the other side of the isle, pushing my cart. I hear Nalyne's footsteps begin to follow. I look up from my basket, spotting AJ, probably going to join Nick. He notices me, his eyes wide for a split second, showing a bit of panic, quickly masking it with hurt. I just scoff, shake my head, and walk around him.

"Well...that was interesting," Nalyne muttered, under her breathe.

I exhale sharply, running my fingers through m short hair.

 _I just got my shit together. It took me a lot of time to get where I'm at. DAMMIT, why does this have to happen now...everything was going so well...OK...I will not let this bother me! I will_ not.

"Okay, you're being too quiet for my liking...what are you thinking about?" Nalyne brushes her hand against my temple, moving a small piece of my hair, out of the way.

"She's pretty," I whisper, placing my elbow against the window, gripping the steering wheel tight, with my other hand.

"Really? You think Ms. Boobs-and-cheeks-too-fake-for-her-body-with-muscles-that-make-her-look-like-a-dude-and-wears-too-much-make-up is pretty...you are obviously out of your' mind or blind...I'm leaning towards the blind theory," she responds. (I have nothing against Lauren. She seems like a really nice girl. All these insults I found them in a blog when I was googling her lol)

A slow smile begins to spread across my face.

Nalyne begins to giggle, shoving me lightly with her shoulder. "Though I did like Nick's face when he saw you. I mean...who knew they could get that big," she snickered.

"Nalyne," I gasped, reaching over, with my eyes still on the road, smacking her a few times.

"Well we all know what's on your mind Ms. Pervert. I'm meant his eyes...you know his eyes," she pointed at her eyes frantically.

"Yea. Sure, whatever," I scoff.

(Nick's POV)

"Hey," Lauren called from next to me, placing her hand on my knee.

"Hmm?" my brows rose, as I still stared mindlessly at the road.

"You OK? You've been sorta silent since we left the store," she asked.

"Yea. Just tired. Excited for the cruise," I chuckled.

She smiled, leaning over, kissing me my cheek. "It sucks I won't be able to join you,"

I smiled, reaching to the knob in front of me, turning up the volume to the radio.

(Star and Nalyne)

 _Ex's that come back to your life. I'm pretty sure there are a lot of you out there that can relate [laughs]_

 _OH! I so fucking know about that! [Growl] And it's always the assholes. Never the nice ones._

 _Preach it sistah! And also those women or girls that took advantage of you and treated you like shit, and when you break up with them, they make you feel like shit._

 _That goes both ways [snaps fingers]_

 _Oh yea! Totes._

 _So for those of you who know what we are talking about?_

 _THIS ONE IS FOR YOU ASSHOLES._

Eamon's "Fuck it (I don't want you back)" began playing. I smirked to myself, rubbing my brow.

 _I always did love that feisty side of her._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11- Hit me with your best shot.

"Can you check the Ragu? I just need to step away from the stove a bit, need to go get the mushrooms and the block of cheese," I lowered the fire to the stove.

Nalyne side stepped, walking towards the stove, mixing the red sauce with the wooden spoon.

I ran to the refrigerator, opening the door, and pulling out a bag of portobello mushrooms and a block of mozzarella cheese. I placed the items on the center counter, and reached for the grater. As I began to slide the block of cheese along the metal slate, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Nalyne cheered. She walk out of the kitchen and opened the front door. "Hey, you made it," I heard her squeal.

I chuckled as I shook my head. _Oh, she is so goo goo for him..._

It was quiet for some time.

"Hope you don't mind, um, a few people decided to join," he coughed.

"Hi," another, womanly, voice giggled.

I kept grating the cheese as I listened to the conversation in the other room, like a nosy person.

"Aaron?" Nalyne said his name with a nervous shake.

I bit my bottom lip feeling nervous for her at this point.

I heard a light chuckle and click clacking from heel hitting the shiny tiled floor.

"Seems as though my boyfriend has forgotten his manner...I'm Lauren...Nick's girlfriend," the other woman perked.

I froze in mid grate.

"Laura is it? Can I please speak with these two for a minute," Nalyne demanded, with a slight chuckle, filled with attitude.

"Um, It's Lauren," the woman started.

"Uh huh...you two over here... _now,_ " she growled.

I slowly walked out of my kitchen, watching Nalyne argue with Aaron and Nick.

"What the fuck is he doing here? What the fuck are you doing here?" Nalyne looked at them both.

"I'm sorry Nay. I told him I was going to hang with a friend. He was saying he wanted to spend some time and," Aaron tried to explain.

"And what? You thought you guys could spend quality time here? Out of all places? What the fuck is a matter with you," she hissed.

" _No_ he ended up listening to the voice-mail you guys left me about the mushroom filling," he sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

Nick turned noticing me standing there, with a blank expression. A smirk slowly forms his lips.

"OK, Now your just doing this to piss me the fuck off...and it's working," I clenched my jaw.

He started towards me, his hands in his pant pockets, strutting coolly.

 _Oh god, he's never looked so fucking good. What the hell is it with this man? Wearing that in my house. Dressy shirt, blazer over it, nice slacks. Oh my god...he's trying to give me a heart attack on purpose. No! He does not have control over me. Compose yourself Star. Don't be stupid._

I took a hard swallow as he stepped closer.

"You always looked so hot when your mad," he whispered, huskily.

I shivered, closing my eyes, slowly looking down at my feet. I breathed in deeply, looking back up at him. "Well get ready mother fucker, cuz I'm about to look gorgeous if you don't back the fuck off," I growled lightly.

His brow rose, the smirk still on his face, as he stepped back.

My eyes stayed on him as he walked towards the kitchen.

"Kitchen?" he asked, pointing. Not waiting for my answer, he stepped in.

My gaze adverts to Aaron, "Your dead meat," I hissed, walking into the kitchen.

"But...I didn't do anything," he scoffed, kicking the floor on the process.

Nalyne followed behind me, followed by Aaron. I stared at Nick's back as he scanned through the counters, the food laid there. The pan with rice, simmering. I looked back at Nalyne, as she stared at me in nervousness. I switched my gaze to Aaron, realizing there was obviously one person missing. I walked passed them, walking into the foyer. "What are you doin' just standing there? Come in," I waved my hand at Lauren, walking back in to the kitchen.

I step in to see Nick snacking on some chopped shitaki mushrooms from the salad bowl. I quickly stomp towards him, smacking the back of his hand, as he aimed to get another.

He stuck his bottom lip out, giving me his most _adorable_ puppy eyes.

I sighed, placing a hand on my hip whilst the other brushed through my hair.

"Can everyone please go in to the living room. Aaron will show you the way," I pushed the air towards them, indicating for them to move.

"OK," Aaron put his hands up, "Come on Nay," he reached for her hand.

"Your staying here with me," I wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her away from Aaron, "You guys go. Talk amongst yourself, chit chat. Watch T.V...something," we turned, standing by the stove.

They began to talk and their voices began to fade.

"What are you going to do?" she bumped my shoulder.

I closed my eyes, turning my head towards her, showing her the biggest, fake smile I could possibly do, "Sit there and look pretty," I gritted.

"Dinner is served," Nalyne clapped, as I passed behind her, holding the salad bowl and a few plates.

"Finally, I'm starving," Aaron exhaled, standing up.

"Yea, it's about time," Nick followed us onto the patio outside, where we had the dinner table set up. The tiki posts were lit and the patio lights on, with the ocean breeze blowing perfectly.

"Well if you were tired of waiting, I'm pretty sure you remember there is a taco bell two blocks down," I smiled genuinely at him, placing the plates down on the wooden table.

"You know I prefer your cookin' darlin'," he said with a southern accent, grinning widely, sitting down at the corner of table.

I rolled my eyes, putting down the last plate, as Nalyne was following behind me, scooping salad onto the plates. Lauren sat across from Nick. Aaron next to Nalyne, and I sat in the middle, at the other end of the table. Far from Nick and his girl.

"Do you guys know each other?" Lauren looked at Nick then stared at me.

I gave her a small smile, grabbing my fork as I mixed the dressing on my greens, "What makes you say that?" I forked my lettuce, shoving it into my mouth, catching the glance Nalyne and Aaron gave each other.

"The way you guys interact with each other," she points at both of us. "Seems like you...both have...history," she faded, looking down, eating her salad.

I looked at her, chewing slowly. I switch my gaze to Nick, then Aaron and Nalyne. Looking at those two for help.

"I think she means how Nick was in your personal space dude," Nalyne broke in, taking a fork full of green to her mouth.

"Oh, " I chipped, "well, it's OK. Nick is always in everyone's personal space," I waved my hand. "It's pretty creepy actually," I nodded, chuckling a little bit.

Aaron and Nalyne looked down with smiles on their faces.

"So you do know each other," she looked confused.

"Yea, we go way back. Star used to be my make up artist," Nick smiled my way.

I narrowed my eyes, "The guys make up artist. I was part of the crew," I explained.

"Yea but you mostly got stuck with me," he nodded.

I stood up, finished with my salad. "Whose ready for the main coarse?" I announced, not really waiting for an answer I walked out.

"Did I miss something?" I heard Lauren ask.

"Oh no. Ester has the tendency of just walking out. It's kinda like tore-ts...that's her nickname," Nalyne giggled.

I smacked my forehead with my palm.

"The food was very delicious," Lauren wiped her mouth.

I nodded, slowly sipping from my glass of red wine. "Thank you," I responded softly.

"Whats wrong Star, wine starting to hit you a little bit," Nick chuckled, sipping from his glass of water.

I glared at him intensely. Honestly, if looks could kill, he would have died a million deaths.

"I remember when I would take Star drinking at the after parties and she would get so messed up with like...one beer, I had to drag her off the seats and bar counters," he laughed.

Aaron, Nalyne, and Lauren giggled silently.

I coughed, sitting up straight. "Yea well, that's what happens when you take advantage of someones innocence," I clicked my tongue.

He stared at me with, his brows scrunched together.

"Trying to live up to the higher man," I brought up my arms, in a sort of wave.

"How much have you changed E? I mean, since you've known Nick?" Nalyne turned to look at me.

"I don't know. I don't keep track of this shit," I laughed.

"Well from what Nick just said, you know, you wouldn't have guessed you were a light weight,"

"Well for one, you never used to cuss so much," he glared.

I shrugged, "It adds more passion to my sentences," I laughed.

"I know something else that'll add passion to your sentences," he smirked.

I huffed, placing my glass down, "Dessert anyone?" I shouted, walking in to the kitchen.

I swing open the refrigerator door, pulling out the blueberry cheese pie. I place it on the center counter and begin to lift the lid. I sighed, placing my palms flat on both sides of the the dish. My fingers slowly curled into fists, slamming them down on the counter, letting out a short, yet loud shriek.

A loud thud resonated from the dining room, hurried steps echoed.

"What happened?" Nalyne huffed.

I turned to look at her, feeling my eyes droop, forming a slight crescent moon.

She sighed, dropping her arms to her sides, "He driving you crazy?" she walked towards me.

"You have no idea," I growled loudly, kicking the bottom of the counter.

Nalyne chuckles.

"I swear Nay, I see him and..." I sighed, "I just want to jump across the table and kiss him," I traced my lips with my finger tips, the memory of his mouth faintly on mine. I close my eyes, reminiscing of his sweet, tender lips. "and then he opens his mouth, and all I want to do is shove his face into his food," I gritted, slamming my fist accidentally smashing a peach that strayed from the fruit bowl. I lifted my hand, looking at it in disgust, flicking it away.

"As long as the 'face shoving into food' sensation stays and you keep your hormones in check...your good," she nods.

I look at her, wiping the the juicy slime off my hand.

"That Lauren chick is pretty chill," she leans back against the counter.

"Oh nooo," I whine, stomping slightly on the floor. "Please no, don't tell me that," I scoffed, somberly.

"Why?" Nalyne chuckles.

"Then it's going to make it harder for me to hate her. 'Cuz then I'll like her...I'm the ex, I'm not suppose to like the girlfriends," I pouted.

"Well then march in there and make your title known," she smirked.

I shift my gaze towards her, shaking my head, smacking her arm with the back of my hand, "Your suppose to be keeping me from doing reckless things," I laughed weakly at the loud smack.

"Is everything OK?" Aaron spoke from the patio.

"Yep, everything is...copacetic," Nalyne rubbed her arm, smirking slightly, walking away. "Hurry up with the pie," she shouted, exiting the room.

"I'm goin'," I shouted back. I turned back to the pie, ready to cut into it.

"Oh and E?" Nalyne called from behind me.

I turned, my brows high in wonder.

"Here's a little something to calm those hormones of yours," she threw a black, satin pouch, rather long.

I caught it as it reached over to me. Pulling the red ribbon, I opened it seeing a very _big,_ purple rabbit vibrator. I quickly closed it. "Jesus Christ," I hissed, "NAY!" I yelled, throwing it at her, seeing her dodge it, and hit the wall with a loud thud.

She skipped away laughing.

I stomped and screamed in slight frustration.

 _I seriously need to get laid._

I sighed, grabbing the knife off the counter.

"I remember when I used to make you scream like that," I heard from behind me.

I quickly turned, knife in hand, pointing at the cause of my main frustration.

He lifts his hands up, as if surrendering.

I clenched my jaw, "What do you want Nick?"

He chuckled maliciously, "I come in peace," he walked forward.

"For some really odd, funny, fucking reason, I don't believe you," I gritted, glaring at him.

He stepped closer and my grip tightened on the handle of the sharp, silver blade. He slowly reached out for my hand, gently placing it on mine, taking the knife from my stubborn fingers.

"Wouldn't want to hurt someone, would we?" he whispered.

"You would know all about _that_ wouldn't you Nick?" I cocked my head to the side.

His jaw clenched. His eyes giving me a stern yet sad expression, making it seem much more difficult to resist him.

"Why are you hear Nick?" I looked up at him.

"Wanted to talk to you," he looked at the knife, then down at my eyes, as he slowly set the kitchen utensil aside, "in private,"

"What about?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Are you and my brother...," he took a deep breathe, "are you and Aaron...i...involved?" he croaked.

I scoffed, chuckling slightly. I place my hands on my hips, looking away.

"Are you?" he growled.

I quickly turn to look at him, "Look, you listen," I pointed my finger at him, "What I do with my love life, is my personal business," I jabbed my finger in his chest, "We are _nothing_ anymore. There is no us, there is no we. There is just you and me, got that?" I stared at him, sternly.

"I don't want to fight with you, Star," he sighed.

"Don't call me that," I hissed, "Only people dear to me call me that,"

There was a shot of hurt in his eyes and I immediately felt bad, but quickly dismissed it. I will not back down.

"Ella, please," he breathed, taking my hand in his, "I don't want this to be there anymore,"

I stared at our joined hands, then back at him, "Don't want what there?" my voice broke.

"I don't want there to be hate between us. I don't want you to see me every time and immediately get angry," he explained.

"I wouldn't if you would just leave me alone," I pulled my hand away.

"I just want you too give me one more chance. If not as an us then as a friend," he pleaded.

"Your too important to me, too lose," he whispered.

"But I wasn't too important what you were beating the shit out of me was I?" my voiced cracked.

He sighed, dropping his head. "Look, the boys and I are having this cruise in a few days. I'd like for you to come..." he handed me a ticket, "Take it as a pardon gift,"

I stared, blankly, at the ticket in hand. My eyes skimming through the letters, wonderingly. I look back at him, my brows creasing together. "You think you can just buy my likability back?" I shook my head.

"It's not like that Star," he argued, his voice raising slightly.

I clenched my teeth, shoving the ticket at his chest.

"Sorry, Ella," he breathed. "I just..." he began, "I just really want to make things right between us,"

"You can start by _going away_ ," I gritted.

He sighed again, "You're not going to make this easy are you?"

"How about I don't want this at all," I looked at him, then walked away, grabbing the pie, and stepping out onto the patio.

Never. Again. OK. Eleven shots I can handle. Eleven shots, two beers, five glasses of jungle juice, and three pina coladas, I can not. After dessert, we sat on the beach and drank while making small talk of the past, rarely mentioning any relation to Nick and I.

I walked out of my room, rubbing my temples gently. My feet hovered through the hall, leading me into the kitchen. I walked over to the drawer, opening it, and taking out a magical bottle called Aspirin. I popped the lid off, taking the little magical pill onto my hand and into my mouth, quickly dry swallowing it.

"Can I have one of those?"

I screamed, dropping the bottle of pills. I placed my hand on my chest, feeling my heart beat pounding against my palm. I turned, seeing Nick standing there, looking amused.

"What. The. Fuck," I said, slowly. "What are you still doing here?" I glared.

"Couldn't drive shit faced, could I?" he answered, squatting down, picking up the pills that scattered over my ocean green tile.

I stand there, not moving an inch, looking down at him. His eyes slowly look up my bare legs, up my stomach, up to my face. He closes the bottle, moving his hand back towards the floor. I felt his fingers brush against my ankle, the back of this hand slowly rising up my knee. My skin filled with bump from the chills cause by his cold, smooth skin. His fingers trailed up my thigh, his eyes intensely concentrating on his task at hand…literally.

"Nick," I breathed.

"Hmm," he responded, merely. His fingertips swiftly move towards my inner thigh, slipping in, under my denim shorts. He slowly stands, stepping closer to me, causing me to step back, and crash onto the kitchen counter. I hold on to the edge, for my dear life, feeling two fingers massage the curve of my inner thigh and my, now warm, center.

"What are you doing," my breathe became hesitant.

He licked his lips, "I don't know," he stepped back, removing his hot fingers from me, creating distance.

My heart sped. Pounded against my chest like a bass drum. My chest rising and falling, trying to catch my breathe.

"Nick?" someone called, their voice becoming closer. Not long after, Lauren entered the room. "There you are," she smiled, looking at Nick, then moving to me, then back at Nick. "I was looking for you. Where'd you go?" she giggled.

"Ella was just going to give some aspirin," he smiled, genuinely.

She walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his, tightly. "Thank you so much Estrella, for letting us stay the night," she beamed. "I don't think we would have been able to make it back,"

I nodded, not really in my right state to say anything, but thought I should any way, "Not like I had much of a choice," I grinned, trying to show some type of meaning of jest.

She laughed. "Well I'm ready when you are baby. Got to spend as much time with him as I can before he leaves," she pouted playfully, leaning to kiss Nick. My stomach clenched as the inches became shorter. Quickly, Nick turned away. Her lips connecting to his cheek. "I'll meet you in the car, K?" she smiled, walking out.

He sighed, turning to see me.

"Don't. Ever. Do that again," I growled, shoving him farther from me. I began to storm out, but was stopped by the strong fingers wrapped around my wrist. Those same fingers that were trailing up my core minutes before. "Nick let me go," I huffed.

"Please tell me you'll take the ticket and go on the cruise with me? You can take your friend," he explained.

"No. I already said no last night and my answer and mind still hasn't changed," I glared.

He sighed, shaking his "I already got you the tickets E," he growled.

i clicked my tongue, giving him a genuine smile "that's not my problem now, is it. I didn't tell you to buy them," i cocked my head to the side, smiling.

"Star!" he growled.

I scowled, cocking my eyebrow at him.

"Babe, let's go," Lauren yelled from the front of the house.

"Yea," he responded, more to himself. He slowly began to walk away.

"Buh bye," I smiled, twiddling my fingers at him.

As he disappeared, I sighed a heavy sigh, feeling my throat clench, making it hard to swallow. I closed my eyes, still feeling his fingertips on me. "Ay Nick...que voy a hacer contigo?"

~.~.~.~

"Alright everyone, listen up closely okay," I chuckled into the microphone. "Be the ninth caller to win tickets to a Ciara concert, BUT...but, u have to tell me the lyrics to Daft Punks "Technologic". WHOA!" I chuckled, seeing the phone lines lighting, "let's start. hello caller your on the air," I smiled.

"Am I the ninth caller?" the voice asked eagerly.

I clicked my tongue, "no sorry. try calling again,"

"While we answer more callers, let's play some jams," Nalyne put in. "This is 'like a boy' by Ci-a-RA," she clicked her mic off as I answered more calls. Nay stared at me as I laughed at the attempted call winner. She checked the machine making sure it was recording the calls.

As I hung up, Nay stayed looking at me. "What's up with you? Why do you keep staring at me?"

"You've awfully cheerful lately," she smirked, lifting her brow.

" _And_? Is it a crime to be cheerful?" I sat back, crossing my arms, defensively.

" No, no, of coarse not," she smirked. "Just wondering what has you in such a good mood,"

"¿Y que? There has to be a reason or what? I'm happy cuz' I'm happy," I shrugged, listening to the music play.

"Uh huh," she cocked her jaw to the side, "and it has nothing to do with...anyone else?" her brow rose.

I chuckled, "No, I'm just happy," I shrugged.

"Nick?" she whispered.

"What?" My brows furrowed. "What about him?"

"Well," she clears her throat, "I mean, you know, he showed up at the house out of no where and you bumped into him at the market," she shrugged.

My brows rose as I shook my head, "Was your point there somewhere?"

"Well I'm just sayin'. I mean, from what I noticed, that smile on your face has been...frequent," she smirks, slightly.

"And where in the hell did you get the damn idea that it has to do with... _that_ ," I growled.

"No, no no no, nothing," she chuckled nervously.

There was a knock behind Nalyne, seeing Rick, our sound technician, I stood up, shaking my head at her. walking past her, I smacked her upside the head. "What's up Ricky?" I stared at him, leaning my arm on the shelf counter.

"This is your next announcement," he gave me a slip if paper, then went back to turning the knobs on the sound board.

I look down at the paper, scanning over it, thoroughly. I lift my eyes to look at him, "Seriously Ricky? Do I have to, other station are probably doing the same announcement,"

"Yea, but we are the most heard station in Florida," he cocked his head to the side, his brows high.

I sighed heavily, walking away, and back to my station. I slammed the piece of paper down on the desk, watching Nalyne jump in her seat.

"What's up?" she sets her phone down.

I flip the paper, straightening my arm, showing her the paper, practically shoving it in her face.

She sighed, smirking slightly as she shook her head, "Even when he's trying to not leave you alone, he still doesn't leave you alone.

I rose my brows in agreement, placing my slender fingers on the mic switch, ready to place the announcement.

"Want me to say it?" Nalyne asked, noticing the frustration painted all over my face.

I nodded, standing from my chair, her gaze following my movements.

"Where are you going?" she asked curiously, as I gathered my things.

Shrugging, I answered, "I don't know...to a bar?" I responded. More of a question, than a solid answer. "I don't really care at this point," I added, as I, slouchy like, began to walk away.

"A bar? It's barely two in the afternoon," she called out.

I continued walking, sluggishly, towards the exit, "Yea well...its five o'clock somewhere," I retorted, shoving the door open, hearing Nalyne's faint introduction into the microphone.

I stared at my car, as walked past it, my legs automatically fending for themselves. I looked up as I reached the first building that I encountered. Not really processing where I was, I entered either way.

"Ay! Estrella, how you doin` girl?!" a strong, familiar voice, boomed from across the room.

I quickly snapped out of my daze, turning my head slowly toward the voice. I smiled slowly, "Diego!" I replied in excitement, my steps quickly shuffling towards him.

Diego was a long time friend. We grew up together. He was a street kid in my hometown, always getting in trouble and running scams. For someone who got into so much trouble, he truly was a humble person. Every time, after school, we would go to the plaza, where they played music, and people stood around, watched, and even danced. We would dance and show off, sometimes making small dance battle between us two. Dancing meringue, salsa, bachata, cumbia, and tejano. When my mom decided to move us to the states, I was devastated. Diego and I were best friends. Two peas in a pot...you know...all that gravy stuff. That is when my mom decided to adopt Diego and take him with us. It was quite easy, since he didn't have any parents, and kinda already lived with us. When we moved, we started school together, and I graduated alone...due to the fact that I skipped a few grades. Diego didn't really like that. He had stopped talking to me for a while, then he got over it...until Nick came around.

"How have you been? It has been a while. Thought something had happened to you," he smiled.

"No nothing happened to me," _not quite_ , "I've been fine," _only trying to get away from the only man I can't resist._ I smiled at him, taking a seat on the bar stool.

"Are you still with that Nick guy?" his thick Mexican accent accentuated, as he asked.

I chuckled, awkwardly looking down. "No, um that has been over for...sometime now...a LONG, some...time," as I said it, it stung. I mean, yea I know I can have him back on a drop of a hat if I wanted to, but...I don't. I mean, I have gone this far right? Well...not counting that minor setback...yea... _that_ minor relapse.

"What happened?" he looked at me quickly, changing his gaze back down to his task at hand, "if you don't mind me asking," he smirked slightly, shrugging.

As if he cared. I laughed sarcastically, Diego never, and I do mean never liked Nick Even if he was the last person on earth to communicate with. Even if lives depended on it and Diego is a man of peace. Yep, that's how much he hates Nick.

"Well my dear Diego, I got fed up," I clicked my tongue. "I got tired of all his bull. The fights, the late nights, the girls, the..." I paused, inhaling deeply "the emotional abuse and the ...the physical," I shrugged.

"So you had followed my advice," he quirked, having the urge to say "I told you so."

My head quickly jerked to the side, as I raised my brows.

He looked at me, quickly looking down. His hands pressed firmly down on the counter. He shook his head and sighed, "I know, I know," he chuckled. "you don't want to hear it...and I won't say it," he smiled.

I chuckled. "Hit me up, will ya," I smiled.

He laughed, nodding, reaching out for a cup as he filled it with the yummy, stinging, clear liquid.

The door bell jingled, signaling that someone entered.

Diego placed the cup in front of me, looking behind me for a split second, resuming his attention towards me.

"I'm not taking no for an answer!" the voice demanded, coming loudly from behind me.

I looked at Diego, dead in the eye, as he leaned back against the counter, staring at Nick with a cool demeanor.

Footsteps resonated behind me The sound bouncing on the walls, moving to my side. Nick side stepped and planted his voluptuous ass on the bar stool next to me.

I craned my neck, slowly turning to face him.

He looked down at himself, adjusting his seating, then looking up at Diego, offering him a small smile. "Diego," he simply said, with a nod.

I looked at Diego as he briefly looked at me and walked away. I looked back at Nick, who was looking at his cold burn walk away.

His brows rose quickly as he clicked his tongue, "You'd think after so long, he'd mature," he chuckled slightly.

My jaw clenched, as I stared at him, sternly, "You don't quit, do you?" I crossed my arms.

"You of all people should know how stubborn I am," he responded, with a small smirk.

I scoffed, turning in my stool, facing forward again, taking a long sip from my drink.

"A bit early to be drinking don't you think?" Nick leaned slightly, tapping his finger on my glass as I placed it down, my hands wrapped tightly around it.

"Your one to talk," I muttered.

"I've been sober for sometime now," he responded too my minor low blow.

I chuckled humorlessly, bringing the glass back to my lips.

Nick reached up, grabbing the glass out of my hand.

I looked at him, brows furrowed in frustration. "Give that back," I gritted, reaching over to it, only to have him push it away from me more. "Nick!" I hissed, nearly shouting.

He placed his forearm against my chest, blocking me from further reaching my drink.

"Will you calm down? Your acting like a five year old," he retorted, with an amused smile.

I huffed, "Your one to talk," I growled, sitting back in my chair.

"Is that the only come back you can think of?" he shook his head, standing with the glass in hand, and pours the liquid down the drain.

"That was mine!" I argued.

"Now its the sewers," he sat back down.

"What do you want Nick?" I groaned.

"I want to try and convince you to go to the cruise," he answered, calmly.

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose, "I already gave you my answer and I said no,"

"Why not? You'll have fun," he began

"I can have fun here, thank you very much," I cut him off.

"We can get a chance to become friends. You know, just kind of start off where we left off," he looked at me, hopefully.

"Nick..." I started.

"I know. OK, I know. I know I fucked up. Trust me, I know I fucked up...royally. There is never a time where I think about how badly I fucked up. I treated you like shit, I cheated on you, I hit you, I even slept with a few girls on our bed. A place that was supposed to be ours," he strained.

"Nick, you don't have to give me the play by play of the shit you did. I was there, remember," I mumbled.

"I didn't appreciate you when I should have. I blamed my problems on you, when the real issue was me. I was down and I wanted to drag you down with me. And then at the beginning, you still stuck around. Why, I don't know. I was a real asshole and to top it off, that night after we ran into each other, was just another fuck up too add to the pile of shit," he sighed, rubbing the tear, threatening to spill, away.

I sat there breathless. Not sure if I should react to my heart or my head. So I sat there, with a blank expression on my face.

"You've given me so many chances and I've fucked up in each and everyone one of those opportunities, majorly. I didn't deserve then," he looked at me, intensely.

My breath hitched. My hands began to sweat profusely. I swallowed and flinched at how dry my throat had gotten as my saliva, roughly, trickled down my esophagus.

"but I know for a _fact_ that I deserve you now, and this time...I most definitely know, I won't fuck up," he leaned forward, getting slightly closer, his voice low and husky, "So like I said before, I won't be taking no for an answer," he leaned in more, giving me a slight kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later," he stood, looking over at the figure that appeared next to me. "Diego. It was nice seeing you again," he turns to leave.

"I wish I could say the same to you...no...no I take that back," Diego nods, crossing his arms over his chest.

Nick just chuckles and walks out, leaving me still...speechless.

"What was that about?"

I turned to look at him. His face stern, his lip slightly sucked in, and his hair falling half way in front of his face. I giggled.

"What?" he looked at me, with his big brown eyes.

"I forgot how cute you looked when your angry," I laughed.

"I am not cute," he glared.

"You are too," I smile, standing up, leaning over the counter, giving him a small peck of the tip of his nose. "Sorry I can't stay longer but I have to get back to work, so I can close up," I said, grabbing a napkin and pulling out a pen from my wallet.

Diego chuckles, "Still carry wallets?" he asked, more of a statement.

"You know I'm not a purse girl," I looked at him, before scribbling my number down on the napkin. "Call me when you can, K?" I leaned over again, hugging him tightly. "I missed you," I smiled at him, before leaving.

"Such a wonderful morning, isn't it beautiful Ms. Nay," I smiled, walking through the station doors, posting myself at my chair.

She eyed me suspiciously. "Uh huh, either you got some or your really high," she pointed at me.

I giggled, "I am neither," I smiled, going through my mail.

"OK, I call bullshit," she laughs.

"I'm serious," I grinned.

"Yea, sure and I'm Michael Jackson," she rose her brow at me.

"I always suspected that," I joked.

She slapped my arm, as I laughed, "No, but seriously...what's up, what's got you in a good mood?" she questioned.

"It's 11 in the morning and the Carnival Cruise Ship leaves in two hours," I shrugged, not being able to wipe off the smile off my face.

Nalyne stared at me, confused. "OK...So? Most people would be devastated by that,"

I laughed, hearing Rick knock the window behind me. I turned, seeing him signal me that I had a phone call.

"Hey, so speaking of which, are you ready?" she asked.

"Hold on," I told her, walking into the sound tech room, grabbing the phone in Rick's hand. "Hello, this is Estrella speaking," I greeted.

"Hello Ms. Vasquez?" asked a deep, stern voice on the other line.

"Yes?" my brows furrowed.

"Hi Ms. Vasquez, I'm officer Tenpenny. I'm just calling you to inform you that one of your neighbors called to report a B and E at your house. We're here at your house, unfortunately they left before we got here, and they made a pretty big mess here. We would like for you to come to see if they took anything, and maybe you have someone in mind," the man informed me.

I stared at the sound board in shock.

"Ms. Vasquez?"

"Um, yes...Uh I'll be right there," I responded slowly. I placed the phone in the receiver.

"Is everything OK?" Rick asked, concerned.

I shook my head, trying to shake the shock off, "Yea, um, I just need too go to my house real quick. If Nay asks, just tell her I'll be back," I grabbed my bag and keys, dashing out of the building.

I sped towards the house. Cracking my skull over who would be able to do something like that. I didn't have any enemies...neither did Nalyne. Well, not that I knew of. One name kept going through my head over and over though, but something was also telling me that he wouldn't be capable of doing that. My neighbors would have recognized him in a heart beat. I know this, because there are days Nalyne and I come home to here them blasting Backstreet's Back through the house.

I pull up to the house, quickly switching the car off, and jumping out of the vehicle. I run up the drive way getting to the door. I opened the door, walking inside, noticing how extremely quiet it was. I looked around, walking through each room, slowly.

"Hello?" I called out, flinching slightly at my stupidity.

I continued looking around, noticing how nothing was out of place. I heard rustling from another room.

"Officer Tenpenny?" I whispered loudly.

There was a small click, like a door had closed. I turned, hearing loud footsteps, run across the hallway. I strode towards the kitchen, my mind closing on the destination of the knife holder. I reached for the blade handle, when there was a loud thud. Everything went black

…...and I hit the floor.


End file.
